Bedtime non-clicky poll and family rant — The Bump
December 2010 Moms

Bedtime non-clicky poll and family rant

What time do your Dec babies go to bed? 

If family parties/get-togethers overlap that bedtime by a LOT, do you skip?  Go and put them to bed there?  Just let them stay up and be a grump?

Nate is asleep by 6:30 every night.  He gets up about 6:30/7:00 (on days we don't have school - up at 5:30 during the week.)  If he doesn't sleep, he's an absolute grouch.  MIL has planned Christmas Eve present opening and dinner to begin at 6:00, which I'm sure is normal for normal people.  The neices are 10 and 11 years old and don't go to bed until late.  But all the other kiddos in the family are little and are in bed by 7:00/8:00.  The others have a good hour drive to get there.  I guess I'm just bummed because my family went out of their way to make sure they scheduled events around the little kids in the family and their nap and bedtimes.  I really appreciated it.  MIL has changed the date and time of their xmas celebration four times now in the past week.  I know we won't end up eating until almost 7:00 and she'll want to open presents at 9:00.  Then we have to come home and do the Santa thing at our own house, which includes assembling a play kitchen.  I love our family, but sometimes it's inconvenient to love them. :)

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Re: Bedtime non-clicky poll and family rant

  • T gets put in bed at 7:00. If there is something special, we will generally go and let his attitude determine how long we stay. Sometimes he tells us he wants to go home by 7:00 7:30, sometimes he doesn't even want to leave at 9:00! If we know it's going to be a late night, we do try to postpone his nap until later than normal to help get him through the evening. It does stink that they are starting so late... Try to enjoy!!!
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  • Dhs family used to wait until midnight to open gifts! That was before most of us had kids but the one cousin who had LOs always left early and I judged them. Now that I have kids I realize how important it is to stick to nap times and bedtimes. I totally owe her an apology lol.

    That being said, they usually try to open gifts earlier but Gs bedtime is around 9pm. So last year I think we just opened one or two gifts and the rest we took home. Sorry if its rude but my kid if a mofo crankyass if he doesn't sleep and they don't have to deal with that, we do.

    This year we have 2 LOs now but I'm lucky their bedtimes are both around 9pm. So we'll stay as long as we can but I still want my kids well rested at this age. When they're older we can stay long past their bedtime.

    Hope your inlaws side can be more understanding.

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  • DD used to go to bed at 8:15 CT, no we live in ET, so bed time is 9:15.  Huh?  Last night we had friends over and dinner wasn't ready until about 9:00.  DD was so wound up she stayed up past 10:00 with no problems, but she was falling asleep in her stew.

    This is the main reason we choose to go to DH's family on xmas (even though my mom threw a major hissy fit about being "bumped" to xmas eve.)  DH's family does church until 10pm, and then wants to do snacks and presents at midnight.  That's fine when you don't have kids under 5 or 6.  No thank you.

    GL with your family.  Just remember that the only person that you need to make happy on xmas is LO.  Screw everyone else. Wink

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  • Eh.  I called my SIL to see how she felt about it (their kids are 3 and 5) and she said there was no way they were participating that late on Christmas Eve.  Since they opted out, we did too.   MIL and FIL decided it change the entire get together to Friday night instead.  The reason it was already changed from tonight was because the oldest neice has a fever and is vomitting.  Nate had a 102 fever the past two days also, so it's probably best we all stay home anyhow!

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  • Noah's bedtime is usually around 7:30. On special occations, I don't mind that he stays up late and he usually does fairly well. I will also sometimes bring his jammies and let him snuggle up with his blankie and lovey if he seems to be getting over tired. Glad things got changed for you!
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  • DS goes to bed at 7:30. If we are out, we will stay till 8, the latest. We bring his PJs & overnight diaper, so we change him before we leave, he falls asleep in the car & we put him straight to bed when we get home, so it's not too bad.

    I get your annoyance - my ILs are similar w/ changing times of things & not understanding our need to do things early. We'll be at my SIL's for Christmas Eve, so it should be interesting for us as well. Both kids are sick, too, so that's just added bonus!

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    Eh.  I called my SIL to see how she felt about it (their kids are 3 and 5) and she said there was no way they were participating that late on Christmas Eve.  Since they opted out, we did too.   MIL and FIL decided it change the entire get together to Friday night instead.  The reason it was already changed from tonight was because the oldest neice has a fever and is vomitting.  Nate had a 102 fever the past two days also, so it's probably best we all stay home anyhow!

    Oh geez, it sounds like everyone staying home is definitely the best for everyone then! Hope DS feels better soon.

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  • DS usually goes to bed between 8:00 - 8:30.  If we're out, I tend to just follow his lead.  If he's playing and having fun, he can go past then and be perfectly happy.   When we start to see him slowing down, we'll pack it up and go home.    I'll also bring his pjs and get him ready for bed so it's a quick transition from car to crib.   Admittedly, I've also never really re-arranged my life around his nap schedule.  There are times during the day we're out during nap time, and it just can't be helped.  I just put him to bed a little earlier and no harm done.

    We go to 3 houses on Christmas Day, and we'll definitely have to cut short our visits at each house.  Otherwise, we're out from 10:00 am to 10:00 pm.  There's no way DS will last that long.  Last year, we missed it all because he was sick.

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  • We start the bedtime routine, diaper, PJ's, brush teeth etc, between 7:45 and 8. They get a story and then go to their room. We do not go in again unless someone is screaming or they are getting too rowdy. Jericho is the first to pass out...usually by 8:45, the trio are often their room, until 10. We do keep them up later for special things or events.
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  • We start BT routine at 7 during the normal week, and are more flexible on the weekend - maybe starting at 7:30. He's usually asleep by about 8.  He has to be up at 6:30 during the week, so we really need to stick to the earlier BT.  I totally agree that sleep is really important and is key to a tolerable toddler!


    For a special occasion, I would be flexible, but I honestly wouldn't get too crazy about it.  I would also go with Aiden's behavior as use that as a judge.  

  • DS goes to bed at 7:15 or 7:30. He wakes up at 6.

    If there is something we need to go to that is during bedtime, we get a babysitter. DS is actually good at staying up without getting grumpy so I guess for something special I could keep him up until maybe 8:30 or so but for a party like the one you're mentioning I would just get a sitter and leave DS. Yes, family would be sad not to see him but that's the problem with an evening party.

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  • My family lives 2 hours away,so for about every GTG we are out past bedtime- we always bring their jammies and night diapers so we can put them straight to bed.  But mostly we leave by 10- my sister always hosts Christmas and she is starting earlier this year- so that means no nap unless they sleep in the car- so we shall see. Holidays at my family are not fun for me- they are full of stress- my DH and my mom do not get along- they had words when we had the boys and I have no idea what was said- but it makes it uncomfortable for me.

  • DD goes to bed around 8-9. We have pushed this once or twice, but we do not like too. Most our of Christmas events start around 3-4 here. DD is the only little kid and family seems to be flexible to we plan around her. We only put DD to bed somewhere else if she is staying there becuase she does not move well after she goes to bed. The only place she sleeps over is my moms. DH and I decided what DD was first born we put her sleep first, it we miss something we miss something. Bedtime gets a little flexibility, but the other poeple do not have to deal with a crabby kid the next day we do. Last year at Christmas she was going to bed at 6:30, it made things hard but we still were home by bedtime. 
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  • He goes to bed at 9 at the latest, so we usually will leave a party at 8 to make sure we are home. I also used to judge people who left early or felt that bedtimes were sacred and now I know that THEY ARE!!! Stupid judgmental younger me.
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  • I would be totally annoyed with my family if they did this. Bedtime is sacred at our house, and we rarely miss it or go more than an hour past. If it were me, I would totally leave at 730 or 8, and say, "sorry, we really have to go or he's going to melt down". Then maybe they'd know better next year. :-)
  • What we have been doing is having DD nap later in they day if possible to cope with the later bed time.

    Last night she napped from 2:30 to 5 and we didn't get home till close to 11pm. 

    The only issues was she didn't sleep later this morning, so today was a little rough and included another engagement, which cut her nap time short, so she was not 100% her pleasant self. 

    Tomorrow we have 2 stops, 1 at 4pm and the other 5:30 -?? We will hopefully have her nap from at least 2-4pm (First stop is just around the corner). 

     Christmas day will be our biggest challenge, as we have brunch at 10:30am and then Dinner is at our house at 5ish. I am just hoping we get home from brunch at a reasonable time so she naps. 

    DH's is the one that adds stress to our holidays as they expect us to run run run run and run some more. Very frustrating! Can't wait for a few years, when we hope to move into a more gathering friendly home and can make people come to us more then run around constantly.


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  • Eh...I try not to sweat it. Not everyone has kiddos as young as ours (or remember what it's like when they did) and family events shouldn't have to be planned around my little guy. We have xmas eve tomorrow night at my aunt's house - dinner at 6, gifts around 8? B goes to bed at 730, so we'll bring the pack n play and hope he goes to bed there. Then we'll wake him when we want to go home.

    Sometimes we'll skip events if it's a huge hassle...last night we went to a holiday party at 7 and my mom came to babysit b/c it never would have worked with us bringing him that close to bedtime. 

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  • DS goes to bed about 8 but is really fine until 9 if we're out and about.  DD, however, needs to be sleeping by 7.  Luckily she is one of those babies that'll sleep just about anywhere and transfers pretty well.  

    The one thing I won't mess with is naptime.  A late or missed nap = nightmare.  I get out of work today at noon but I won't pick J up from DC until 2:30 because I don't want to risk nap time.   

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  • We're pretty flexible about bedtime and nap times, but some of that is thanks to DS' temperment. He adapts to changes in the routine pretty easily, and if he gets tired, he'll let us rock him to sleep and nap on our shoulder or a it's not that big of a deal if we stay out late. Obviously, some kids are different, but this seems to work fine for us.
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