Late Term and Child Loss
ajsweeton
member
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Intro and story. Kind of long...
ajsweeton
member
Hi there. I really wish that I was not posting on this board, but unfortunately I now belong here. I went into the hospital on December 1st at 22 weeks 5 days convinced that I was peeing on myself, but I just wanted to be safe and be sure that it wasn't leaking fluid. Turns out my little Elliott's sac had a leak and was protruding through my cervix which was dilated to 4-5cm. They immediately started me on magnesium in an effort to stop my labor. I was transferred to the University's hospital in the hopes that if I were to deliver they would be able to do something to save the babies. I still had some hope that the labor would be able to be stopped and that my sweet boys would survive. Sunday morning that hope was dashed after talking with the MFM Dr. He was pretty confident that I would continue to progress, and he was right. He told us that it was hospital policy to not intervene and that they would not do anything to prolong life unless I reached 23 weeks. Elliott Brian was born at 10:51pm Sunday night. He was beautiful and perfect, he was just too small to live. Ryland followed and was born at 11:25pm he was a little bigger than his brother, but still too small to survive. We were able to show our sweet boys lots of love for the few hours that they remained with us. I'm having a really hard time accepting their loss right now. I'm especially struggling with the fact that I am no longer pregnant, I keep thinking that I am pregnant and I still need to do the things I did when I was. I just don't know how to go on at this point. I feel so empty like all my hopes and dreams died with my boys.
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Re: Intro and story. Kind of long...
I am so sorry for the loss of your boys.
My story is very similar to yours and I feel exactly the same as you do right now. The little things like drinking a diet soda, having a glass of wine, taking something other than tylenol hurt b/c it means I am no longer PG.
The ladies here have been very helpful to me knowing I am not alone in my feelings.
Feel free to PM me if you want to vent, or cry, or ask questions or anything.
Huge hugs to you
Me(26)PCOS, Hypothyroidism & Incompetent Cervix DH(28)Azoospermia
4/11 Off BCPs -- Cycle 1-3 (6months) - No ovulation, Provera
Cycle 4-6 - Provera, Clomid 50mg, CD23BW - All BFN (HSG-all clear)
Dec 2011 DH S/A shows zero count - dx Azoo
TESE 4/13/12 - Sperm found!! 5 viles frozen
IVF ICSI #1- (Lupron protocol) 5R 2F 2dt- 2DP & 4CF - BFFN
IVF ICSI #2- (Antagonist protocol) Started stims 7/26
ER 8/8 11R 9F 3dt - 9BF & 7BF (+HPT 8dp3dt)TWINS! EDD 5/1/13
LAP Transabdominal Cerclage - 4/15/13 only possibility of carrying my children to term
IVF#3 - June 2013 - canceled.
IVF ICSI #3.2- (Antagonist Protocol) 7/26 start stims (same day, a year later from J & Z's stim start date!)
9/11/13 - U/S shows 1 baby HR 135bpm! EDD: 4/30/13
It's a BOY!!
2/9/14 - DX Gestational Diabetes
C-section scheduled for 4/7/14 (36w5d)
Colin Joseph - 1:07pm 6lbs 14oz - 8 days in the NICU
Everyone Welcome!
Please know that you are forever a mommy to two beautiful angel baby boys.
I hope this is not the end for you and your SO and I look forward to hearing from you in the future.
((HUGS))
I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss.
I'm also so very angry at the universe right now. There are 3 of us right now who have lived the same nightmare over the last 3 months. All twins. All early labor. All shattered dreams.
If you ever want to talk please feel free to PM me.
In memory of Corbin Scott 10/28/11-12/3/11. Heaven got another angel the night you left this world behind Heaven got a little better the day it took you away from me Missing you tonight, see you again sometime For now I'll close my eyes and dream of heaven tonight I'll love you forever I'll like you for always Now and Forever My baby you'll be
corbinsmommy.blogspot.com
My heart is just broken for you. I'm so incredibly sorry. I lost a baby girl at 20 weeks, but I imagine being so very close to 23 weeks is just so hard to bear. I wish there was something I could say...
A good friend of mine lost her twins in the exact same way also at 22 weeks 5 days. She keeps a blog and now has a non-profit in their honor. If it would bring you any comfort, her website is owlloveyouforever.org. You can visit her blog from there.
I'm so sorry.
THE DARK SIDE IT IS
and GBCB
BFP 8/2/12 EDD 4/9/13 Addie was delivered 1/4/13 at 26 weeks due to Eclampsia
BFP 9/15/14 EDD 5/28/15 Please be our R A I N B O W take home baby BOY
~All AL always welcome~
we were both on the april2013 board...I am so sorry to see you on this board.
I lost my baby girl the week of thanksgiving when she was 19 weeks...it was totally unexpected (we found out a week earlier that we would lose her) . I know exactly the pain you are feeling and remember those first days of just utter shock...i still felt kicks, i would hesitate before drinking a glass of wine or eating sushi, I would find myself rubbing my belly. It just doesn't seem fair to be so "in the clear (aka past 13 weeks) and then have your life turned upside down.
It is still a shock and I am still so so heartbroken and have probably cried everyday since, but please know that it does get better a little bit at a time. You will start to feel a peace and clarity and even thankfulness for the time you got with those sweet little boys in your tummy.
these boards have been such a comfort to me because it is so hard for people in your life to relate to what is happening to you..even your dh.
we are all here for you...sending many thoughts and prayers your way.
8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)
-5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)
11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13
8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF
IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties
12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!! One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15
Everyone Welcome.
I am so sorry for the loss of your sons Elliott and Ryland. I am so sorry that this is the reason we are introduced to one another. Praying for you and your family.
((Hugs))
BFP#1 - 11/27/09 EDD 8/5/10, DS1 arrived 7/24/10 via emergency c-section.
BFP#2 - 6/18/12 EDD 2/23/13, sweet baby girl born sleeping on 10/4/12 at 19 weeks, 3 days.
BFP #3 - 1/18/13 EDD 10/1/13, natural mc on 2/2/13 at 5 weeks, 4 days.
BFP #4 - 8/29/13 EDD 5/12/14, our sweet rainbow, DS2 born 4/29/14 via c-section
*ticker warning*
I am so sorry for the loss of your Elliott and Ryland. It is hard to believe when something like this happens. I was sure the world would stop turning after our family experienced such a tragedy. But the women here understood my feelings and were a great source of comfort. I hope we can be for you as well.
:::::::::Ticker Warning:::::::::::
I just wanted to give you the biggest hugs that I can send through the computer. I am so sorry about the loss of your sweet Ryland and Elliot Brian.
type 1 diabetic for 7 years. Been on the pump for 6 years.