Anxious about hiding TTC from family over holidays

bocaburger · December 2012

Happy holidays everyone!

I am visiting my family from now through New Years. I am really excited, but also very anxious because this is our first big get together since TTC and I am worried they will figure it out.

For starters, my entire FW will be while we're there, so we're going to have to find time to have sex in the guest room that shares a wall with my sister's room...

My biggest concern is actually the hot tub. My parents have a hot tub that we all LOVE and we usually spend about 30-45 min in there every night when we visit. Obviously DH can't do that anymore because it could affect his sperm... but how does he stay out without explaining why? My family is a bit over-involved and will definitely start asking questions... I need a good excuse!

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. :-) I know the world wont end if they find out, but we would really prefer to keep this to ourselves.

VitaLuna · December 2012

Mystery rash. Always go for the mystery rash. Just have DH say that he's just getting over a weird rash (arms/legs/abd, whatever) and doesn't want to get in the hot/chlorinated water. (this isn't all that far-fetched, I randomly get hives sometimes that stay sensitive to hot water for a few days after they go away)

I don't know enough about hot tubs to know if you can get in them for a short time, not at all, or if you can have sex first, then go in. Someone else might have better advice there.

janice9821 · December 2012

VitaLuna:
Mystery rash. Always go for the mystery rash. Just have DH say that he's just getting over a weird rash (arms/legs/abd, whatever) and doesn't want to get in the hot/chlorinated water. (this isn't all that far-fetched, I randomly get hives sometimes that stay sensitive to hot water for a few days after they go away)

I don't know enough about hot tubs to know if you can get in them for a short time, not at all, or if you can have sex first, then go in. Someone else might have better advice there.

Haha, my first thought was to claim he has athlete's foot or something.

wearebirds · December 2012

VitaLuna:
Mystery rash. Always go for the mystery rash. Just have DH say that he's just getting over a weird rash arms/legs/abd, whatevernbsp;and doesn't want to get in the hot/chlorinated water. this isn't all that farfetched, I randomly get hives sometimes that stay sensitive to hot water for a few days after they go away
I don't know enough about hot tubs to know if you can get in them for a short time, not at all, or if you can have sex first, then go in. Someone else might have better advice there.

If DH isn't for telling everyone he got a creepy rash, you can always say that last time he got hives and he might be allergic to one of the chemicals. People respond nicer to hives than rash...lol. Just the word RASH freaks people out. Haha

jenaw84 · December 2012

grahamlove:
VitaLuna:
Mystery rash. Always go for the mystery rash. Just have DH say that he's just getting over a weird rash arms/legs/abd, whatevernbsp;and doesn't want to get in the hot/chlorinated water. this isn't all that farfetched, I randomly get hives sometimes that stay sensitive to hot water for a few days after they go away I don't know enough about hot tubs to know if you can get in them for a short time, not at all, or if you can have sex first, then go in. Someone else might have better advice there.
If DH isn't for telling everyone he got a creepy rash, you can always say that last time he got hives and he might be allergic to one of the chemicals. People respond nicer to hives than rash...lol. Just the word RASH freaks people out. Haha

Yea, you'll probably get more questions about the 'rash' rather than your H not jumping in the hot tub.

ETA: As for sex and your FW, waking up early or late nights are worth a shot.

babydreams13 · December 2012

Don't be obvious about TTC. If they ask you about it say maybe next year. Try to get some BDing in when you are washing up or getting ready to join everyone. As for the hot tub maybe he can say he has too much to drink and needs to lay down. Basically he is wiped out. Or he could put his legs in and say wow this is really hot... IDK .. good luck.

xxMiss2Mrs09xx · December 2012

Say he has some open sore use band aids or something to pretend.... Or high blood pressure.

Dreamingmommy4 · December 2012

ColeRose:
Two words: Ninja sex
It is quiet, fun, and usually interesting
As for your hot tub issue: Can't he just say no? I don't think you need to provide excuses.

Agreed. Ninja sex accompanied by the silent screw (as we like to call it)! lol Do it quickly and as quietly as possible whenever you find a few spare minutes. ;D If the bed squeaks too much do it on the floor. DH and I just had to do this not all that long ago (alas, no BFP out of it).

As for the hot tub, just saying he's not in the mood should suffice. Unless they're really nosy...then go with the hot tub chemical induced hives excuse from a PP, I think that one would work well.

greenhope · December 2012

I second PP who say quiet floor sex. Might be fun to switch it up anyways. I also vote for rash, hopefully they will be grossed out and won't ask anymore questions. Of course if it was my DH's family they would get really inappropriate and dirty jokes would be flying about mystery rashes and where and who he got them from... So GL

Luckbeababy · December 2012

If someone declined to go into a hot tub, male or female, my mind would never go to the thought that they are TTC. I think since we are all focused on TTC we think those types of things are obvious give aways but I doubt anyone else would make the connection. At least not with my family or circle of friends. My husband has never liked hot tubs so if people do think that way then they would assume we have been trying to get pregnant a hell of a lot longer than we actually have. Are hot tubs really that bad for a male? Would a quick soak in it one or two nights make that much difference? I honestly have know idea.

brookelynpaisley · December 2012

Am I the only one who would have foregone a cycle if staying with family? You couldn't pay me to do it in a family home. I would personally take a break cycle, drink up, enjoy the hot tub, and not bang my husband with only drywall between me and my family.

Starbinks · December 2012

He could say that he went in one at a hotel recently and got really light headed and hasn't gotten over how weird it made him feel yet and would just rather not get in one again for a while. That may be better than saying he gets hives because eventually when you aren't ttc anymore he could "get over it". If you say he gets hives he will have to explain why he suddently just doesn't get hives from hot tubs anymore.

RayRay007 · December 2012

brookelynpaisley:
Am I the only one who would have foregone a cycle if staying with family? You couldn't pay me to do it in a family home. I would personally take a break cycle, drink up, enjoy the hot tub, and not bang my husband with only drywall between me and my family.

Yeah, I was thinking what would be the big deal if you just took a bit of a break this cycle. But I'm not that anxious to get pg right now so I thought it was just me.

I would wake up early for sex. But I wouldn't worry about the hot tub. Am I the only one that doesn't worry about hot tubs?

krdesi · December 2012

This gave me a little giggle because I was just saying to DH last night that I need to hide my opks and prenatal vitamins when my dad visits over New Years because I don't want anyone to know to we are trying! Though luckily we do not have the obstacle of a hot tub, I am trying not to drink any alcohol (even though I guess that is a little crazy) and I am sure my dad will wonder if I don't have a glass of champagne on NYE.

Good luck trying in the guest room! We have done that and it was okay....just be very very quiet lol and move the bed away from the wall so it doesn't hit it! As for the hot tub...just say he forgot his swim suit!?

Pockety · December 2012

Could he just sit behind you with his legs in, and give you a shoulder rub? Then he'd just look romantic! And, since you are TTC, when you do get pregnant, you will be giving up hot tubs and plenty else, so enjoy this!!

colleenandshaun · December 2012

brookelynpaisley:
Am I the only one who would have foregone a cycle if staying with family? You couldn't pay me to do it in a family home. I would personally take a break cycle, drink up, enjoy the hot tub, and not bang my husband with only drywall between me and my family.

Haha! Totally.

BlueGirl9603 · December 2012

Honestly unless he has a known sperm count issue he shouldn't have a problem with an occasional dip. It's just one of those things where you wouldn't want to get in every single night (if you had one at your home) But a couple nights in a row? No biggie. Just tell him to take a dip of maybe 10 mins and then claim he's feeling too hot and have him sit on the side with his feet in.

curlylocks3 · December 2012

brookelynpaisley:
Am I the only one who would have foregone a cycle if staying with family? You couldn't pay me to do it in a family home. I would personally take a break cycle, drink up, enjoy the hot tub, and not bang my husband with only drywall between me and my family.

Nope, you're not. I might be crazy, but I figure as long as H isn't living in the hot tub then I'm not going to tell him he can't use it. I also wouldn't assign him a random rash or something. Just have him say he's not in the mood for it, or get in for a few minutes and then say its too warm or something if he really wants to avoid it.

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