Guns & my Daughter's Dad

JenniferTX · December 2012

I texted my ex in light of the CT tragedy to please reassure me that he has his handgun unloaded and locked up at his house to keep our baby girl safe. He texts back "I actually sold it." I thought wow, that's fabulous. . .then ding another text, "I'm buying an AR15" I just googled that, it's a semiautomatic rifle. I am so fing angry. Is there anything I can do? If it's a legal weapon and he gets it in a legal matter, that's it right, nothing I can do? Has anyone had any experience with a similar issue. I'm so mad and he gets her more than just standard visitation because I was too freakin nice during the court order finalization.

Stephanie2167 · December 2012

Do you have reason to believe he shouldn't own guns? Or are you just thinking any person that has a child shouldn't own one?

We have a shotgun and a handgun both for our protection in case anything ever happened. They are locked up.

As long as he isn't leaving them out unlocked, then I think you may be overreacting.

JenniferTX · December 2012

I'm not trying to open a political debate but I don't think anyone besides the military should own a semiautomatic gun. He has an anger issue (never put a mark on me. . .but can get very very close to it, never to our daughter but to me). He is a huge bragger and will show all of his crappy friends his gun.

TiffanyBerry · December 2012

JenniferTX:
He has an anger issue (never put a mark on me. . .but can get very very close to it, never to our daughter but to me).

This is the problem, not the gun. And the "never to our daughter" is bull - if he can do it to others he can, and likely will, eventually do it to her too. THIS is why, if you have ANY sort of documentation or corroborating witnesses, you should go back to court over visitation issues. You'd have to check with a lawyer, but I doubt you can even force him to lock his gun up, though that may well depend upon the state he lives in.

anvloveskme · December 2012

I have drafted parenting plans that specifically provide for locking up of guns

ThatWasAHoot · December 2012

Oh man I would be livid. I never want either of my children even near a gun. I agree, take him to court and make it legal that he must lock the gun up.

Soap1 · December 2012

JenniferTX:
I'm not trying to open a political debate but I don't think anyone besides the military should own a semiautomatic gun. He has an anger issue (never put a mark on me. . .but can get very very close to it, never to our daughter but to me). He is a huge bragger and will show all of his crappy friends his gun.

This is the kind of thing that worries me more than just the possession of a gun. What if a drunk friend gets a hold of it and fires it on accident? Etc.

To be honest, I'd be relieved that he's going to have a rifle instead of a handgun. Semiautomatic probably isn't what you're thinking it is (many, many standard hunting weapons are semi-automatic. It just means you don't have to pump or C- 0ck - lol it kept blocking that word! - the gun after each shot). His handgun was almost certainly semi-automatic.

But I BELIEVE (i'm not an expert) that the AR15 has several characteristics that make it an assault weapon and/or subject to some regulation in some states (detachable magazine? short barrel? etc.) I'd check into the regulations in your state for legality issues.

acaudill75 · December 2012

I think your issue may be that you are afraid your ex is going to somehow hurt your child. He can do that with his hands and words. DH is a cop, and has an arsenal in our house, including several ARs. They are locked up in a huge gun safe, and we have several safes for handguns for traveling and by our bed. I used to be anti-gun, but I am now of the opinion that DH will teach them at an appropriate age how to respect and use them so that they can defend themselves if need be. Having said that, I would not allow them in any household where I knew the parents had a gun and didn't lock it up. The guns themselves are not the issue, and I'm not trying to debate the issue. It's the idiots that own them that are the issue. I would take him to court, or whatever, to ensure that he loses any visitation if it can be proven that he is taking that gun out of a locked gun safe when she is around for any other reason than to defend himself.