What books did you read?

maryoosa · December 2012

I'm a reader. And I'm currently reading books about adoption--- Over the past two days I've read Somebody's Children:The Politics of Transracial and Transnational Adoption by Laura Briggs which did profile for me some of my sincere concerns about adoption, and just finished The Adoption Reader: Birth Mother's Adoptive Mothers, and Adopted Daughters Tell Their Stories edited by Susan Wadia-Ells.

What did you pick up while you were waiting? After placement? When your kids were teenagers?

HouseofLovelock · December 2012

I've read a loootttt too. I loved The Open Adoption Experience. Lots and lots of information, but I think it hit all of the areas that people need to consider before adopting/during and after. It's my go to adoption consultant.

ycristina84 · December 2012

I've read "You CAN Adopt" and "Adoption for Dummies", both really informative and good!

lizlemon2 · December 2012

I read The Connected Child, which I really liked.

hey_its_jenn · December 2012

I just ordered The Adoption Decision: 15 Things You Want To Know Before Adopting and The Complete Idiot's Guide to Adoption. I haven't started reading them yet but I plan to start over the holidays.

irismorning · December 2012

I read a lot as well. I really enjoyed Deborah Gray's Attaching in Adoption

Ginger71 · December 2012

"In on it" is awesome. I also have it laying on my end table in the family room for visitors to peruse.

CaptainSerious · December 2012

I read a ton of adoption and parenting books, covering a lot of areas. Here's a list of most of them, with comments next to the ones I thought were best.

General Adoption

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Adoption - Great introductory guide that sets out the basics of adoption, the different types, and common issues that can arise

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew - My first insight into the fact that there is pain/loss involved in adoption, and it really prepared me for some of the things my children go through and what kind of things might be triggers for their pain

Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother - Geared more toward mothers who adopted after IF, but has stuff for all adoptive mothers. Let me feel normal about some of my mixed feelings about adoption even when I felt the world expected me to always be over the moon happy

International Adoption: Sensitive Advice for Prospective Parents

Supporting an Adoption

When Friends Ask About Adoption: Question & Answer Guide for Non-Adoptive Parents and Other Caring Adults

General Parenting

Parenting With Love And Logic - This book's main premise forms the basis of our parenting philosophy, but as with all parenting books, there are a lot of specifics that you have to sift through and take only what you are comfortable with

1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 - This book helped us get through the worst period with M, when he threw every acting-out behavior at us he could think of. We never applied it the way the book explains, but just clung to the principle of not letting him see us affected by his behavior and always remaining calm and enforcing discipline with cool reserve. It was a life-saver!

Positive Discipline

The Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child (Sears Parenting Library)

Caring for Your Baby and Young Child, 5th Edition: Birth to Age 5 (Shelov, Caring for your Baby and Young Child, Birth to Age 5)

Parenting Adopted Children

Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child: From Your First Hours Together Through the Teen Years - Great guide for what your child's adjustment will entail and points out all the issues that may present themselves with advice on how to deal with them

Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents - Great book on attachment I Love You Rituals - If things are really tough and you are looking for ways to reach out and foster attachment even when you don't think you have it in you (and believe me, I've been there), this book has great ideas for little things you can do to break through Adopting Older Kids/Parenting Hurt Children

Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft

Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow - This book is the one that I always recommend first to parents adopting older children. It really helped us understand what we were dealing with and how to best approach it. It can be scary, because they talk about really bad cases, but it was so relatable and helped us avoid many pitfalls--especially triangulation!

Wounded Children, Healing Homes: How Traumatized Children Impact Adoptive and Foster Families - This book was the first that really captured how I felt. It's more about the impact that raising a hurt child can have on the rest of the family, and was very honest. I couldn't believe that the emotions I felt were actually being written about so openly.

Next Steps in Parenting the Child Who Hurts

When Love Is Not Enough: A Guide to Parenting Children with RAD and Taming the Tiger While It's Still a Kitten (lecture on CD with booklet, https://www.attachment-store.org/taming-the-tiger-while-its-still-a-kitten.html) are good resources to understand children with attachment difficulties. I personally felt that the techniques were too heavy-handed, but that's likely because I wasn't dealing with a child who had RAD. Still, the insight into their fear and how they act and manipulate relationships because of it was invaluable in understanding my sons.

DaisyZH · December 2012

My favorites were You CAN Adopt and The Connected Child. I also loved Another Place at the Table by Kathy Harrison, One Small Boat by Kathy Harrison and Three Little Words by Ashley Rhodes-Courter. These three are specific to adoption from foster care adoption, but they were absolutely wonderful, and hard to put down.