BM pisses me off

J&A2008 · December 2012

mom2one:
CurlyQ284:
Not her place to be angry? What does that mean exactly? Because she's a step mom?

ETA Actually, forget it. I really don't care what your answer is. Your biases are so obvious and its pointless to discuss anything with you.

Yes BM is hurt, Cole is hurt. Both parties are frustrated with the other and it boiled over over this uniform issue. I don't blame either party for being upset, but both parties need to act in the best interest of the child. BM doesn't get a pass even though you like to give BMs a pass and villify dads and step moms.

Its OK to vent Cole. This stuff sucks sometimes.
 
I have been accused of both coddling my ex and vilifying step moms i& dads in this post. Funny. 

You act like he's incompetent, so yes to both.
You also act like your current "D"H is also. No, we don't do 50/50 with BM, but I don't view my husband as incompetent nor his parenting less valuable than mine. I don't care to think about us being apart, but I can't imagine denying my boys their father.

mom2one · December 2012

J&A2008:
mom2one:
CurlyQ284:
Not her place to be angry? What does that mean exactly? Because she's a step mom? ETA Actually, forget it. I really don't care what your answer is. Your biases are so obvious and its pointless to discuss anything with you. Yes BM is hurt, Cole is hurt. Both parties are frustrated with the other and it boiled over over this uniform issue. I don't blame either party for being upset, but both parties need to act in the best interest of the child. BM doesn't get a pass even though you like to give BMs a pass and villify dads and step moms. Its OK to vent Cole. This stuff sucks sometimes.

I have been accused of both coddling my ex and vilifying step moms i& dads in this post. Funny.
You act like he's incompetent, so yes to both. You also act like your current "D"H is also. No, we don't do 50/50 with BM, but I don't view my husband as incompetent nor his parenting less valuable than mine. I don't care to think about us being apart, but I can't imagine denying my boys their father.

Who said anything about denial? Or incompetence. You guys are ridiculous.

J&A2008 · December 2012

Why would you deny your children equal time with your husband, besides the obvious answer that mom2one is all about mom2one?

mom2one · December 2012

J&A2008:
Why would you deny your children equal time with your husband, besides the obvious answer that mom2one is all about mom2one?

Yep I'm all about me! I adopted two special needs children with attachment disorders, one who is very ill. Seems like a great idea to separate them again from their mother! Good thing DH and I are rock solid and it's not going to be an issue.

misscarter87 · December 2012

cole2144:
sweetwalks:
mom2one:
Sorry but if you want the privilege of 50/50 custody, then you have the obligation to provide for her at your house. Buy a couple more uniforms. It's just part of having kids.

Seriously? A privilege to see his child just as much as her mother does?

I would probably buy enough uniforms for a week time you would have her just so I didn't have to deal with BM or worry about it. We only have SS EOWE but we keep a full wardrobe, because it's just easier on everyone.

Sorry BM is being so hateful, but I agree with PP, eventually she will run out of energy. Being hateful and spiteful does take a lot out of a person. GL!
Thank you, why is it a right for BM but a privilege for the
father?!

omg wtf seriously a privilege to see his child thats ridiculous to say!!!! Bm is just being hateful thats all because how can u send your kid with 1 uniform or even a dirty uniform or any kind of clothing..yuck..this is just a stupid childish game shes playing being very selfish..thats all iunderstand how u feel i.would be annoyed with her also..maybe maturity will hit her one day!!!

cole2144 · December 2012

mom2one:
J&A2008:
Why would you deny your children equal time with your husband, besides the obvious answer that mom2one is all about mom2one?
Yep I'm all about me! I adopted two special needs children with attachment disorders, one who is very mentally ill. Seems like a great idea to separate them again from their mother! Good thing DH and I are rock solid and it's not going to be an issue.

But you would have no problem separating them from their father.

mom2one · December 2012

cole2144:
mom2one:
J&A2008:
Why would you deny your children equal time with your husband, besides the obvious answer that mom2one is all about mom2one?
Yep I'm all about me! I adopted two special needs children with attachment disorders, one who is very mentally ill. Seems like a great idea to separate them again from their mother! Good thing DH and I are rock solid and it's not going to be an issue.
But you would have no problem separating them from their father.

Do you know anything about attachment disorders? Clearly not based on this response.

Ilumine · December 2012

cole2144:
mom2one:
J&A2008:
Why would you deny your children equal time with your husband, besides the obvious answer that mom2one is all about mom2one?
Yep I'm all about me! I adopted two special needs children with attachment disorders, one who is very mentally ill. Seems like a great idea to separate them again from their mother! Good thing DH and I are rock solid and it's not going to be an issue.
But you would have no problem separating them from their father.

I feel like we are ganging up on Mom2One here. But the actual hypothesis she is spouting is just so offensive to me. My case, and J&A and Just K and many others here on this board, show that the Biological Mother's ARE NOT always the best for the child(ren).

And while Mom2One MAY (though given her children are adopted, not gestated and birthed, she cannot use the that as the reason for the stronger bond) be the better parent in her situation (though I seriously doubt it is because her husbands were such doufuses and leans more towards her controlling of the situation)....

SHE OPENED the subject in a OP that had nothing really to do with it. SO she is going to get blasted.

When we base billions of tax dollars on providing support for the poor, with one of the reasons being the single mother syndrome, then damn it we have to accept on the other side that maybe the father IS important.

When we villify absentee fathers, from the workaholics to the alcoholics to the ones who just leave, here and in the media and in the courts, we cannot then attack them when they DO demand equal treatment and common sense approaches.

Honestly, if fathers are not so important to the emotional development to their children, then I do not want to hear ONE MORE complaint by a BM about their exhusbands on here. Because we, as a society, cannot expect it both ways. Its not fair.

cole2144 · December 2012

mom2one, I am not going to continue to go round and round with you. It`s abundantly clear to me that you can see no one`s point but your own. It is also clear to me that you can not fathom that a father could be as important in a child`s life as a mother.

NDSalesGirl · December 2012

gin9874:
I'm sorry but I also think you need to buy your own. Sure, it would be nice if she sent a spare for a week or two but I agree that you should provide for her while in your home. We pay CS for my SKs but still buy them anything they need in our home. The child should not be packing clothes to carry back and forth in a 50/50 situation. Do you want your SD feeling like she lives out of a bag? Make your home her second home. Buy her some uniforms.

We live 16 hours away from Bm, which is a 2 day trip most of the time, and BM doesnt even send a change of clothes for the trip. She expects SS to wear the same dirty clothes for the 2 day trip up to us and home. We have tried to send clothing back, but SS (with Facebook pictures to prove) does not get to wear these clothes, her other children do.

Want a personalized experience?

BM pisses me off

Re: BM pisses me off

Choose Another Board

Search Boards