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June 2013 Moms
chelsmcl
member
Am I being a spoiled brat?
chelsmcl
member
So... I think I already know the answer to this question, I'm pretty sure that I am acting like a spoiled brat, but maybe I can blame hormones?
This is my first baby and I'm pretty excited to go register and pick out all of my baby gear. My mother is helping me pay for the nursery because she has done this for my 3 siblings first borns as well and wants to keep up the tradition. She is also painting a mural for me because she is one talented lady.
Anyways, my MIL and my mom talk lots and are friends now and my MIL decided she wants to do something big for baby as well, she wants to go surprise me and DH with a stroller (and my mom let it slip to me, she sucks at secrets). As happy as I am that we're going to get gifted a big ticket item part of me really wants a specific baby carrier/carseat/stroller combo that I picked out myself. I mentioned to DH that maybe we could hint to her that we'll be registering soon and will include some bigger items incase family members want to go together on a gift but DH told me I'm a spoiled brat and should just grateful for the gift and to not mention anything about the registry.
Now that I've had a day to think about it I'm thinking he's probably right but part of me really wants to pick out my own stuff. Am I just being unreasonable?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Am I being a spoiled brat?
CJ 05/29/2013
I like that idea, I think I could bring that up in conversation naturally.
Off B.C. Jan '06, started charting Feb '08, 2% morphology and PCOS, no O with meds,
IVF w/ICSI only option to conceive.
Licensed Foster Parents 07.11
Miracle BFP 7.20.11 1st beta 6,274! EDD 3.17.12
Miracle Baby born March 5, 2012 . 6lbs 1oz, 19 3/4"
Miracle BFP #2 10.8.12 - edd 6.20.13
Married 08/18/07
BFP 02/15/11 EDD 10/27/11 Born at 35w3d on 09/25/11
BFP 10/13/12 EDD 06/25/13 Born at 37w0d on 06/04/13
BFP 12/11/15 EDD 08/23/16 Early miscarriage
BFP 02/02/16 EDD 10/16/16
I don't think you're being bratty. I wanted to pick out everything myself for my first and even now having my third, I am still pretty particular.
I would point out that you'll use different strollers at different stages for different things. We have a jogging-style stroller for events outdoors on uneven terrain (think pumpkin patches, apple picking, etc.) that pretty much all infant seats fit into; an actual jogging stroller for running; and a nice umbrella stroller for things like malls, even terrain walks, etc.
So, perhaps if you're not able to direct the purchase, you'll at least have a use for what she gets and also be able to choose your own? Maybe if you really want a travel system you could work it into conversation that you'd like an umbrella stroller for when the baby is a little older? I don't know how big of a gift she wants to do but a lot of the nice umbrella strollers are $180+.
My SILs can't wait to unload their baby stuff on me. I don't want it. I'm being a brat and I know it. I grew up with all hand me downs as the youngest of 4. I want new baby stuff. Plus some of their stuff is 13 years old!
I think it's perfectly normal to want what you pick out, not what someone decides you may or may not need, especially with something as significant as a stroller or car seat. You need something that works for your lifestyle or you won't use it. I think your options are to either tell her exactly what you want in an FYI way (not an I heard you were buying this way) or tell her another big ticket item you are super excited to get.
This. Also, I don't think you're being bratty.
This is what I was going to suggest as well. Seems easy enough.
You're not acting like a spoiled brat. I want to pick out all the big ticket items for my baby too. Like some others said, I would have your mom mention which stroller you really liked, then it would be up to your MIL to decide if she would get that one or not.
My inlaws never tried to guess at gifts with me. They always asked me or my husband what I would like because they wanted to make sure that I was getting something I wanted. I'm assuming they will do the same with the baby items.
BFP #2 - 10-11-2012 Beta 38, 10-15-2012 Beta 518!.
He's my fairytale, a dream when I'm not sleeping.
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I don't think you're being bratty. Picking out a car seat is important due to safety issues AND the fact that you'll use it all the time i.e. carry your baby in it and therefore want certain features (lightweight, etc).
M/C 7/8/12
Perfect baby boy born 7/8/13
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After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!
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After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!
This is exactly what I was going to say. My MIL and I talked about strollers and carseats, and found that we had vastly different ideas in terms of safety and functionality. She simply wasn't familiar with the baby gear that is available now.
I don't think you're being bratty at all, DH and I like having our say about the big ticket items, as well. I like PP's idea about casually bringing it up in conversation, and mentioning that you've done your research and determined which one will work best for you.
I agree! I know, for example, that my sister's infant carseat (one of the Britax ones) is WAY too big to fit in my car. In order to properly make it fit, the passenger seat would have to be pushed all the way forward, making the whole airbag deployment in the event of an accident scare me for whoever was in the passenger seat. Plus, like pp have said, you need to find what works best for your lifestyle.
K- born 7/5/2011
G- born 6/24/2013
CJ 05/29/2013
Right on the same page with BLT...