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Trying to Get Pregnant
bewilderingstar
member
New job - TTA or TTC? :-/ (kind of long)
bewilderingstar
member
Hey ladies! So as some of you know, I started my new job last Monday. I was on CD31 and waiting to see if I got the BFP we were looking for. Well I got my period on Tuesday so that took care of that! Now I'm wondering if we should postpone baby making for a few months to get me established at my new job (admin of a housing authority for disabled and low income people) or just try anyways.
I know the odds of getting preggers. My mom & MH's mom thinks we should wait a few months, my husband thinks we should keep trying. I don't know either way. My boss is kind of a stickler and asked in the interview process if I get sick often or for long periods of time b/c it just wouldn't work with the job. That kind of freaks me out!!
I love my job. This is exactly what I want to do for my career. What would you do? Wait or keep trying?
BFP#1: 08/30/12 EDD 04/30/12 m/c 09/04/12 6wks
BFP#2: 01/27/13 EDD 10/06/13 missed m/c 02/25/13 9wks
BFP#3: 10/30/13 EDD 07/05/14 Our little dude was born on 07/10/14 @ 2:19p 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: New job - TTA or TTC? :-/ (kind of long)
It's really such a tough decision. DH and I were recently in the same boat. I got a new job that was a major step up for me, and we decided to TTA for a while. I wanted to be eligible for FMLA, and I wanted to get settled in and prove my worth to the Agency without having to worry about morning sickness and pregnancy brain and such. My job also has a 1-year probationary period when they can let you go for any reason or no reason at all - and I know they can't technically fire me for being pregnant, but I didn't want to give them the motivation to look for another reason.
3 months later, DH also got a new job 1 1/2 hours away, and we wound up moving to a more central location. Now we're fixing up our house to put it on the market. I'm glad we waited, because I doubt I would have enjoyed packing, moving, painting, driving back and forth to meet realtors and carpet installers and such, etc., all while pregnant.
Now I've been at my job for almost 9 months. I'm safely in the FMLA-eligible zone, and I wouldn't have to tell them I'm pregnant until I'm past my 1-year probation and I've got some protection from the union. The house is almost ready to be put on the market. We decided to TTC again starting this month. It was hard to wait so long, but I think we're in a much better place.
It's such a difficult and personal decision. Good luck to you!
Who carries the benefits?
ETA: I gagged at preggers....come on, you can type out pregnant.
I was in the same boat in June. We decided to TTA for at least 3 months, mainly because I was terrified of losing my job while pregnant, and really thought it was best I didn't take on unnecessary stress during what could be an already stressful time. The position I accepted was one that would be the foundation if my career post grad school, so it was (is) quite important to me. We are on my health insurance, but if I was to lose my job we would jump over to his since loss of a job is considered a major life event that enables enrollment.
I know the odds of getting pregnant, but sometimes it does happen earlier than expected. For that reason we opted to wait at least the 3 months so I could celebrate without reservations. Low and behold, we had a surprise 2 months into my new job - I was pregnant and absolutely torn for a multitude of reasons. The opposite of the emotions I would feel today. We ended up losing the pregnancy weeks later, and have been extremely vehement ever since. We decided to start trying Dec 1 - almost 6 months into my new role.
The decision is different for everyone, and only you & Dh can make the best one for you and DH. Good luck!!
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
This for me too. I wouldn't wait now but if I was 25 I might. It's a very personal decision and there is no right or wrong answer. Some people start new jobs when they're already KU!
based on what your boss said and the fact that for most jobs if there is a leave policy it kicks in after a certain period of time, I think you are deciding between your job and the baby for now (but can have both if you put off the baby).
I think that if you got pregnant right away your boss would be disappointed and even though it's illegal to fire you, you might get no leave policy. If I were you I'd definitely stop trying for a few months or a year unless I was feeling biological clock pressure in which case I would risk my career for the baby.
I'm so sorry to have a negative viewpoint on it, but that's my opinion if it were me. I hope that your situation is actually better and that you can have it all!!
ETA: we were in the same boat -- wanted to TTC in June, but I had a new job starting this fall that would give me a great maternity leave if I could be there for 9 mo first. So we just started in Sept instead. Again, I recommend TTA, but not if you're over X yrs of age (X being whatever it is for you; for me it would probably be 37ish?)
Depends on what your long-term plans are, in my opinion. If you wait a couple of months (but keep temping!), then when you did get pregnant, you'd be eligible for FMLA - assuming your company is big enough.
I know people say "You never know how long it will take, so keep trying", but I think that's bunk. It isn't like if you don't get pregnant in December, then your chances in January are affected. If you really don't want to have a baby in 9 months, use a condom that month. But I'd keep temping cause those charts will be very valuable. Your odds of getting pregnant in 2 months aren't affected by you TTA in December and January (assuming you don't do anything chemical/hormonal that could affect your body's chemistry).
BUT..if you'd quit when the baby came, then by all means, keep trying.
Unless there some benefits you need for the baby that would cause you to want to wait...I'd keep chugging.
I actually am starting a new job in January and were actually starting trying again in January. Lol. So, I'm obviously not one to wait. Haha.
Personally, I would wait. DH and I struggled with similar issues. We had planned to start TTC a year ago. I found out last Sept that I was being laid off at the end of the year. I didn't find another job until March. We waited until July to start TTC because I wanted to be eligible for FMLA and to put in some time before having to take maternity leave,
With DD, I became unexpectedly pregnant two months after starting a new job (the one I was laid off from). I gave birth a month before I had been there for a year. Fortunately, as a public employee my sick leave was transferred from my previous job so I could cover my maternity leave and I didn't need FLMA. Plus I had a kind employer and didn't get any grief about being pregnant and needing leave. But I was scared sh*tless to tell them I was pregnant. I waited until I was 4 1/2 mo and busting out my pants (By the time I announced my pregnancy, my coworkers were like yeah, we know). Although you can't be fired for being pregnant, I was nervous because my probation period was 6 mo and they could have found another reason to let me go. It wasn't worth the stress to me. I would never do that intentionally.
This for me as well. If I was in my 20s I would wait but as I'm in my 30s and we can rely on DH's job I wouldn't. It really depends on your personal situation.
Banker he carries the bennies so it wouldnt effect my pregger bills like what I did there? lol
BFP#1: 08/30/12 EDD 04/30/12 m/c 09/04/12 6wks
BFP#2: 01/27/13 EDD 10/06/13 missed m/c 02/25/13 9wks
BFP#3: 10/30/13 EDD 07/05/14 Our little dude was born on 07/10/14 @ 2:19p