I personally like the idea of a more casual shower. It sounds like a great way to celebrate with your friends and family as well as a way to thank everyone for all of their support. I also must say that I like the idea of a coed shower, especially in your case where you and your husband have received the support of your friends. I'm sure everyone will be thrilled to share your special day!
I would still open gifts in front of everyone, but you could perhaps do it (or start it) during your dessert course? I think that would add to the casual feel while still giving those that would like to see it a chance to watch. I do agree that some guests may be offended if their gifts aren't opened at the shower.
It is early to start thinking of showers but I can definitely understand why you are excited! I'm a planner too and I think it's nice that your family asks for the input of the expectant mom.
Congratulations!!!
*edit, just read a couple of the comments. If your mom and sisters would prefer to throw you a traditional shower, I think this would be a great meet the baby party:)
OP: You guys are reading me all wrong!!! I didn't say I wanted that exact party. And you're judging me based on my words. How can you do that in this forum of words???
Everyone else: Yes, you did want that exact party. You gave some serious detail about that exact party. And what else are we supposed to give you advice based off of if not your words?
One glitter poster: She didn't say that! Have the EXACT party you want! These peeps don't understand.
OP: THANK YOU, glitter poster!! We're sharing opinions!! These other people are just haters.
Everyone else:
I should have just scrolled down and read this post so I didn't have to read through these posts about the opening of the gifts where tons of other people pointed out that opening as people arrived wont work and to just have a time set aside for it and then somehow the OP reads one posts suggests this after many of the regulars N's thinks the poster invited the wheel. Good grief OP.
As the one who apparently invented the wheel and made the same suggestion that others made before, I'm going to agree with everything you said with one exception. Have you ever noticed how these types of posts get way out of hand really quickly? OP gets panties in a bunch over not hearing what she wants to hear and other posters, in turn, get their panties in a bunch over their advice not being taken and next thing you know, 50 replies later, no one remembers what anyone else said. I certainly wasn't trying to say anything overly brillant. I was just trying to cut to the chase for OP spell it out in a direct way. For whatever reason, OP finally heard the advice that many others had given when I posted it. What I take issue with in your post is the characterization that "regulars'" advice is somehow more valuable than others. Maybe that's not what you meant and I'm really not trying to start s*** but I just felt the need to point out that out. There are a lot of people on these boards with great advice - whether you have 5,000 posts or 50.
OP, let yourself have fun at whatever shower is thrown for you and enjoy this amazing time in your life. Someone said in a pp to avoid The Bump boards during your pregnancy. I would have to disagree with that advice - I've received a lot of great advice on these boards both during my pregnancy and now that my LO is here. It's a great place if you come in willing to listen openly to others.
OP: You guys are reading me all wrong!!! I didn't say I wanted that exact party. And you're judging me based on my words. How can you do that in this forum of words???
Everyone else: Yes, you did want that exact party. You gave some serious detail about that exact party. And what else are we supposed to give you advice based off of if not your words?
One glitter poster: She didn't say that! Have the EXACT party you want! These peeps don't understand.
OP: THANK YOU, glitter poster!! We're sharing opinions!! These other people are just haters.
Everyone else:
I should have just scrolled down and read this post so I didn't have to read through these posts about the opening of the gifts where tons of other people pointed out that opening as people arrived wont work and to just have a time set aside for it and then somehow the OP reads one posts suggests this after many of the regulars N's thinks the poster invited the wheel. Good grief OP.
As the one who apparently invented the wheel and made the same suggestion that others made before, I'm going to agree with everything you said with one exception. Have you ever noticed how these types of posts get way out of hand really quickly? OP gets panties in a bunch over not hearing what she wants to hear and other posters, in turn, get their panties in a bunch over their advice not being taken and next thing you know, 50 replies later, no one remembers what anyone else said. I certainly wasn't trying to say anything overly brillant. I was just trying to cut to the chase for OP spell it out in a direct way. For whatever reason, OP finally heard the advice that many others had given when I posted it. What I take issue with in your post is the characterization that "regulars'" advice is somehow more valuable than others. Maybe that's not what you meant and I'm really not trying to start s*** but I just felt the need to point out that out. There are a lot of people on these boards with great advice - whether you have 5,000 posts or 50.
OP, let yourself have fun at whatever shower is thrown for you and enjoy this amazing time in your life. Someone said in a pp to avoid The Bump boards during your pregnancy. I would have to disagree with that advice - I've received a lot of great advice on these boards both during my pregnancy and now that my LO is here. It's a great place if you come in willing to listen openly to others.
I think she should stay off TB while pregnant. I agree that it is a great place to get advice and such, but if someone can't take people not throwing glitter at them, I would recommend to stay off the boards while pregnant. OP seems like she can't take it IMO.
Congrats! No one bit your head off about anything. You have to remember that the opinions of people on the internet will likely reflect opinions of people in your real life as well- they are varying, some are in agreement with you and some are not.
Open the gifts at one time- no one is obligated to sit there and watch you. Some people, like me, love this part of the baby shower and will want to see what you get.
We recently went to a co-ed baby shower. The guys were on the porch drinking the entire time. They did not have very much fun. But it was what the couple wanted, so families came.
It did NOT affect what we spent on the gift, she got exactly the amount I would have spent on her if it was a ladies only event.
And I get your excitement, trust me- but do calm down and make it through the first tri before getting too up in arms about something as silly and un-important as the shower. It truly is a nice gift, but should hardly be your focus as you are growing this precious life inside of you.
OP, ignore the haters in this post. Congratulations on your pregnancy, as a former IF'er, I am THRILLED for you. I think your idea for a party at that restaurant sounds fabulous. Mention it to the women that will host your shower, let them organize it, and have a blast. Again, congrats! My best advice, is to stay off the bump while you are pregnant. Best of luck to you and your family!
Thank you and I think you are right!
TTC 4 years
IVF 10/31/10-
12 eggs, 8 embryos, 2 frozen
1 ET, low Hcg, saw heartbeat at 6w2d
miscarried 9 weeks
NaPro Technology- 1 year
IVF 10/26/12-
7 eggs, 3 embryos, 0 frozen
2 ET grade A, 8 cells
12dp3dt 205
14dp3dt 300
18dp3dt 783
24dp3dt 3842, 1st US, 5w6d
126bpm, 7w1d
Thank you everyone for your suggestions. (Although I still feel some of you were pretty harsh with your responses.) I realize this is a forum, and you are going to get honest opinions. That's why I asked the questions I did. I did not expect however, to be judged and some what attacked for having an idea of the shower I would prefer. And the fact that some of you suggested I should wait to even think about these things. That's why I brought it up here. I didn't realize there was a specific time frame in which you can ask questions.
For those of you who gave constructive criticism, I greatly appreciate it. I still prefer a co-ed shower, but I agree now on the gift idea. People will watch who want to. And guys that want to come will. Everything will of course be based on my family throwing the shower. I still believe there is nothing wrong with voicing your opinions, as long as they are asked for. And I realize this may cost more money, but I am happy to contribute if money is an issue. Whatever happens will happen.
Thanks again though!
TTC 4 years
IVF 10/31/10-
12 eggs, 8 embryos, 2 frozen
1 ET, low Hcg, saw heartbeat at 6w2d
miscarried 9 weeks
NaPro Technology- 1 year
IVF 10/26/12-
7 eggs, 3 embryos, 0 frozen
2 ET grade A, 8 cells
12dp3dt 205
14dp3dt 300
18dp3dt 783
24dp3dt 3842, 1st US, 5w6d
126bpm, 7w1d
I you want to have your party, don't call it a shower, don't mention gifts or registries, just have a party... Don't mention pregnancy or baby at all.
If someone does offer to throw you a shower, I'm sorry, but aside from date and guest list, you really have no say.
This. And if you throw "just a party" for yourself, use another occasion - for your EDD, Fourth of July might be good - so that it's really clearly not about baby. If people bring gifts, DO NOT open them at the party lest the other guests feel awkward about arriving empty-handed.
My example of a non-baby-related excuse to celebrate: last week my mother had a Christmas tree decorating party, and despite the party having nothing to do with pregnancy, DH and I ended up spending half the night answering questions and sharing our excitement. People see a pregnant lady and they want to hear about it, so whatever you throw will end up being all about you and baby.
If someone else offers a shower and you accept, you have to go with the flow. You can't really suggest this idea or any other unless they ask.
CONGRATS on the pregnancy. Those early weeks are exciting.
I you want to have your party, don't call it a shower, don't mention gifts or registries, just have a party... Don't mention pregnancy or baby at all.
If someone does offer to throw you a shower, I'm sorry, but aside from date and guest list, you really have no say.
This. And if you throw "just a party" for yourself, use another occasion - for your EDD, Fourth of July might be good - so that it's really clearly not about baby. If people bring gifts, DO NOT open them at the party lest the other guests feel awkward about arriving empty-handed.
My example of a non-baby-related excuse to celebrate: last week my mother had a Christmas tree decorating party, and despite the party having nothing to do with pregnancy, DH and I ended up spending half the night answering questions and sharing our excitement. People see a pregnant lady and they want to hear about it, so whatever you throw will end up being all about you and baby.
If someone else offers a shower and you accept, you have to go with the flow. You can't really suggest this idea or any other unless they ask.
CONGRATS on the pregnancy. Those early weeks are exciting.
Thank you! Great suggestions. Congrats to you too! You must be excited that you're so close! And yes the early weeks are very exciting! We are thrilled!
TTC 4 years
IVF 10/31/10-
12 eggs, 8 embryos, 2 frozen
1 ET, low Hcg, saw heartbeat at 6w2d
miscarried 9 weeks
NaPro Technology- 1 year
IVF 10/26/12-
7 eggs, 3 embryos, 0 frozen
2 ET grade A, 8 cells
12dp3dt 205
14dp3dt 300
18dp3dt 783
24dp3dt 3842, 1st US, 5w6d
126bpm, 7w1d
Thank you everyone for your suggestions. (Although I still feel some of you were pretty harsh with your responses.) I realize this is a forum, and you are going to get honest opinions. That's why I asked the questions I did. I did not expect however, to be judged and some what attacked for having an idea of the shower I would prefer. And the fact that some of you suggested I should wait to even think about these things. That's why I brought it up here. I didn't realize there was a specific time frame in which you can ask questions.
For those of you who gave constructive criticism, I greatly appreciate it. I still prefer a co-ed shower, but I agree now on the gift idea. People will watch who want to. And guys that want to come will. Everything will of course be based on my family throwing the shower. I still believe there is nothing wrong with voicing your opinions, as long as they are asked for. And I realize this may cost more money, but I am happy to contribute if money is an issue. Whatever happens will happen.
Thanks again though!
OMG, it was dead for two days! You come back to talk down to everyone? Stop being a drama queen...
If you don't like what I have to say, then why are you still checking in on this thread? And I was not talking down to everyone, I was stating my honest opinion like everyone else has here.
TTC 4 years
IVF 10/31/10-
12 eggs, 8 embryos, 2 frozen
1 ET, low Hcg, saw heartbeat at 6w2d
miscarried 9 weeks
NaPro Technology- 1 year
IVF 10/26/12-
7 eggs, 3 embryos, 0 frozen
2 ET grade A, 8 cells
12dp3dt 205
14dp3dt 300
18dp3dt 783
24dp3dt 3842, 1st US, 5w6d
126bpm, 7w1d
I wouldn't think about this as a shower at all if I were invited. It's dinner party, pure and simple. It sounds fun but not a shower and trying to think too outside the box can offend some guests. Just look at all your responses to a gift line.
My concern would be the cost to who is hosting it. A place like this in my area would easily be 20pp. If you are planning on more than just a few couples you are talking well into several hundred dollars in addition to a gift, because I'm sure your family can't wait to spoil this child. Offering to help pay for a shower while it's a nice thought to your hosts is in poor taste because in essence you are then also hosting.
I you want to have your party, don't call it a shower, don't mention gifts or registries, just have a party... Don't mention pregnancy or baby at all. If someone does offer to throw you a shower, I'm sorry, but aside from date and guest list, you really have no say.
This. And if you throw "just a party" for yourself, use another occasion - for your EDD, Fourth of July might be good - so that it's really clearly not about baby. If people bring gifts, DO NOT open them at the party lest the other guests feel awkward about arriving empty-handed.
My example of a non-baby-related excuse to celebrate: last week my mother had a Christmas tree decorating party, and despite the party having nothing to do with pregnancy, DH and I ended up spending half the night answering questions and sharing our excitement. People see a pregnant lady and they want to hear about it, so whatever you throw will end up being all about you and baby.
If someone else offers a shower and you accept, you have to go with the flow. You can't really suggest this idea or any other unless they ask.
CONGRATS on the pregnancy. Those early weeks are exciting.
Thank you! Great suggestions. Congrats to you too! You must be excited that you're so close! And yes the early weeks are very exciting! We are thrilled!
So when I say it, I'm an azzhole... but when someone quotes me and says, yes, do this, they are genius... ok...
Re: The Anti-Baby Shower, Shower. Ok?
I personally like the idea of a more casual shower. It sounds like a great way to celebrate with your friends and family as well as a way to thank everyone for all of their support. I also must say that I like the idea of a coed shower, especially in your case where you and your husband have received the support of your friends. I'm sure everyone will be thrilled to share your special day!
I would still open gifts in front of everyone, but you could perhaps do it (or start it) during your dessert course? I think that would add to the casual feel while still giving those that would like to see it a chance to watch. I do agree that some guests may be offended if their gifts aren't opened at the shower.
It is early to start thinking of showers but I can definitely understand why you are excited! I'm a planner too and I think it's nice that your family asks for the input of the expectant mom.
Congratulations!!!
*edit, just read a couple of the comments. If your mom and sisters would prefer to throw you a traditional shower, I think this would be a great meet the baby party:)
As the one who apparently invented the wheel and made the same suggestion that others made before, I'm going to agree with everything you said with one exception. Have you ever noticed how these types of posts get way out of hand really quickly? OP gets panties in a bunch over not hearing what she wants to hear and other posters, in turn, get their panties in a bunch over their advice not being taken and next thing you know, 50 replies later, no one remembers what anyone else said. I certainly wasn't trying to say anything overly brillant. I was just trying to cut to the chase for OP spell it out in a direct way. For whatever reason, OP finally heard the advice that many others had given when I posted it. What I take issue with in your post is the characterization that "regulars'" advice is somehow more valuable than others. Maybe that's not what you meant and I'm really not trying to start s*** but I just felt the need to point out that out. There are a lot of people on these boards with great advice - whether you have 5,000 posts or 50.
OP, let yourself have fun at whatever shower is thrown for you and enjoy this amazing time in your life. Someone said in a pp to avoid The Bump boards during your pregnancy. I would have to disagree with that advice - I've received a lot of great advice on these boards both during my pregnancy and now that my LO is here. It's a great place if you come in willing to listen openly to others.
I think she should stay off TB while pregnant. I agree that it is a great place to get advice and such, but if someone can't take people not throwing glitter at them, I would recommend to stay off the boards while pregnant. OP seems like she can't take it IMO.
Congrats!
No one bit your head off about anything. You have to remember that the opinions of people on the internet will likely reflect opinions of people in your real life as well- they are varying, some are in agreement with you and some are not.
Open the gifts at one time- no one is obligated to sit there and watch you. Some people, like me, love this part of the baby shower and will want to see what you get.
We recently went to a co-ed baby shower. The guys were on the porch drinking the entire time. They did not have very much fun. But it was what the couple wanted, so families came.
It did NOT affect what we spent on the gift, she got exactly the amount I would have spent on her if it was a ladies only event.
And I get your excitement, trust me- but do calm down and make it through the first tri before getting too up in arms about something as silly and un-important as the shower. It truly is a nice gift, but should hardly be your focus as you are growing this precious life inside of you.
Thank you and I think you are right!
Thank you everyone for your suggestions. (Although I still feel some of you were pretty harsh with your responses.) I realize this is a forum, and you are going to get honest opinions. That's why I asked the questions I did. I did not expect however, to be judged and some what attacked for having an idea of the shower I would prefer. And the fact that some of you suggested I should wait to even think about these things. That's why I brought it up here. I didn't realize there was a specific time frame in which you can ask questions.
For those of you who gave constructive criticism, I greatly appreciate it. I still prefer a co-ed shower, but I agree now on the gift idea. People will watch who want to. And guys that want to come will. Everything will of course be based on my family throwing the shower. I still believe there is nothing wrong with voicing your opinions, as long as they are asked for. And I realize this may cost more money, but I am happy to contribute if money is an issue. Whatever happens will happen.
Thanks again though!
This. And if you throw "just a party" for yourself, use another occasion - for your EDD, Fourth of July might be good - so that it's really clearly not about baby. If people bring gifts, DO NOT open them at the party lest the other guests feel awkward about arriving empty-handed.
My example of a non-baby-related excuse to celebrate: last week my mother had a Christmas tree decorating party, and despite the party having nothing to do with pregnancy, DH and I ended up spending half the night answering questions and sharing our excitement. People see a pregnant lady and they want to hear about it, so whatever you throw will end up being all about you and baby.
If someone else offers a shower and you accept, you have to go with the flow. You can't really suggest this idea or any other unless they ask.
CONGRATS on the pregnancy. Those early weeks are exciting.
Thank you! Great suggestions. Congrats to you too! You must be excited that you're so close! And yes the early weeks are very exciting! We are thrilled!
If you don't like what I have to say, then why are you still checking in on this thread? And I was not talking down to everyone, I was stating my honest opinion like everyone else has here.
I wouldn't think about this as a shower at all if I were invited. It's dinner party, pure and simple. It sounds fun but not a shower and trying to think too outside the box can offend some guests. Just look at all your responses to a gift line.
My concern would be the cost to who is hosting it. A place like this in my area would easily be 20pp. If you are planning on more than just a few couples you are talking well into several hundred dollars in addition to a gift, because I'm sure your family can't wait to spoil this child. Offering to help pay for a shower while it's a nice thought to your hosts is in poor taste because in essence you are then also hosting.
So when I say it, I'm an azzhole... but when someone quotes me and says, yes, do this, they are genius... ok...