If you had an adoption shower — The Bump
Adoption

If you had an adoption shower

when was it in relation to your journey?  People are already asking me if we're going to be having a shower, and I'm sure at least one person will offer to host one for me, but I don't know what the best time would be.

I'm feeling very at peace with our IF journey at this point and am starting to accumulate a few little baby things on my own, so I was thinking of having a shower as soon as we're home study approved/on the wait list.  Does that seem appropriate?

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Re: If you had an adoption shower

  • We waited until after DD was placed with us.  Actually planning them now for Jan.  

     So excited for you getting so close.  I remember when you first started posting, I think it was around the same time I did...way earlier this year.  Yay!!! 

    TTC since March 2010, BFP #1 11.09.10, ectopic, m/c 12.14.10 (10w)
    Clomid + TI=BFN, IUIs 1-6= BFN
    Application for domestic adoption submitted 4/18/12, matched 8/12/12, DD born 10/31/12


     

  • image raecheleblue1:

     So excited for you getting so close.  I remember when you first started posting, I think it was around the same time I did...way earlier this year.  Yay!!! 

    I'm so excited, too! :)  Congrats on your baby - just precious. :)

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  • Ours were after M came home.  I didn't want one before because I felt uncertain.  It's good we did it that way because the first match fell through, and M was last minute anyway.  We had purchased while we were going thru the homestudy the crib, mattress, dresser, carseat, and stroller.  And I had a "go pack" of stuff, like 3 bottles, a couple blankets, and some newborn and 0-3 month gender neutral clothes.  Everything else i figured we could buy wherever we ended up.  It really was plenty of stuff.  newborns in a hotel room don't need much.

    TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption! 

    image


    Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!

    image   
  • We have had several offers from people to host a shower, but I am glad that we waited. We thought we would have been matched by now and, sadly, we have not. I've accumulated some items here and there, but what I have really focused on is creating a wish list at Amazon.com. That list is marked private and is an assortment of everything I may want or need. When we do finally get a match, I will have the registry list all ready to go because I've been working on it.

     Everyone is different in terms of what makes them comfortable, but the adoption journey is also different for everyone. It is already a little hard to walk past the nursery (which is not totally complete) and see the small collection of items we have. I dread to think how I would feel if a shower had already occurred and we had a nursery full of stuff that has yet to be used.

    Like I said, everyone is different. I like going to my private Amazon.com baby registry and adding items and doing research on them. 

    Good luck!

     

    Cervical Cancer Survivor since 2007 TTC Since 2008 IUI#1 = BFN IUI#2 = BFN IUI#3 = BFN IUI#4 = BFN IVF #1 = BFN FET #1 = BFN FET #2 = BFN FET #3 = BFN IVF #2 = BFN IVF #3 = BFN FET #4 = BFN FET #5 = BFP!!! 06/10/2011 Miscarriage 06/21/2011 Adoption Application Submitted 09/2011, Personal Documents Submitted 11/18/2011, Home Visit 12/16/2011, Officially Waiting!!! 01/21/2013 MATCHED!!!! 01/24/2013 Baby Boy Born! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Oh - here is what we do have so far:

    Crib, mattress, changing table/dresser, car seat, stroller frame, and a "go bag" that contains a couple of diapers, wipes, 3 dressing gowns, 3 swaddle blankets, 2-3 burp clothes, and a couple of starter bottles.

    If you want a list of what was suggested to go into our "go bag", PM me and I'll send it to you.

    Cervical Cancer Survivor since 2007 TTC Since 2008 IUI#1 = BFN IUI#2 = BFN IUI#3 = BFN IUI#4 = BFN IVF #1 = BFN FET #1 = BFN FET #2 = BFN FET #3 = BFN IVF #2 = BFN IVF #3 = BFN FET #4 = BFN FET #5 = BFP!!! 06/10/2011 Miscarriage 06/21/2011 Adoption Application Submitted 09/2011, Personal Documents Submitted 11/18/2011, Home Visit 12/16/2011, Officially Waiting!!! 01/21/2013 MATCHED!!!! 01/24/2013 Baby Boy Born! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • We had a shower a month before BM was due...but I was very confident that she was going to place and not change her mind. At first I was against any type of shower before like most other people due to fear, but once I was comfortable with BM I went ahead and gave in! 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    TTC since June 2009
    01/10- Femara
    03/10- Femara
    07/2010- Clomid with injectables and IUI #1
    08/2010- IUI #2
    06/2011- IVF #1 BFP!
    09/2011- Miscarriage at 10 1/2 weeks
    11/2011- FET
    01/2012- Start Home Study process
    03/2012- Home Study approved and now waiting on our child to find us!
    07/2012- matched with a BM who is due in October!
    11/10/12- our son is born!
    11/13/12- court grants us custody!
     12/28/12- finalization! Always ours in our hearts, but.now also ours forever

                           

       Image and video hosting by TinyPicimage

     

     

                     http://keepingupwiththejoneses-dana.blogspot.com/

     
  • image dholsapp:
    We had a shower a month before BM was due...but I was very confident that she was going to place and not change her mind. At first I was against any type of shower before like most other people due to fear, but once I was comfortable with BM I went ahead and gave in! 

    This almost exactly, and it was with only intimate friends. We had a bigger "meet the baby" bbq a few weeks after bringing him home. 

    image image image Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers November 2011: after nearly two years of infertility, we are moving on to domestic infant adoption. February 2012: Matched! May 2012: Placed with our son!
  • We had one after we met our son but before our court approval. It was a bit "risky" because of the chance we would not be approved to adopt him, but I wanted to enjoy the season of anticipation like an expectant mom would so to me it was worth the risk.

    TTC September 2010 thru October 2011
    SA February 2011: Normal
    RE App. October 2011 - Recc. Clomid and IUI

    Taking a break from TTC to pursue adoption

    Met our 2 year old son in Russia July 2012!
    Court trip October 2012
    Home November 24 2012!

    Back to RE Summer 2013. TTC journey continues: 

    Dx DOR, endometriosis, low sperm count 
    Clomid + IUI#1, #2 = BFN / IUI #3 = ???

    Laparoscopy scheduled December 2013

    Adding a Burden
  • We had a "meet the baby" shower just recently, when DD was 8 weeks old.  We focused on toddler gifts (clothing, learning toys, etc).  It was a lot of fun, having DD there!

    Having said that, we did consider a pre-baby shower, but everything happened so quickly for us.  If you can handle it emotionally, I say go for it! 

    Married Since 09/2006, TTC Since 09/2010 
    DX: Unexplained infertility, DH normal 
    3 Femara cycles - Oct, Nov, Dec 2011, all BFNs 
    IVF #1, ER 2/15 (5R, 4M, 4F), ET 2/18, Beta 2/29 = BFN :( 
    Follistim + IUI on 6/25 = BFN 
    Home Study Finalized 8/14/12! Profile Active - 8/17/12! 
    Officially Matched 8/29/12, Our perfect angel born 9/25/12! 
    Biggest surprise ever, unexpected BFP on 4/12/13! 

     Our Angel through Adoption
     Lilypie Third Birthday tickers


    Our Little Miracle
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • In my opinion, you have two choices...

    1-  Either wait and have a meet and greet w/a new baby which can be special and wonderful

     or

    2-  Schedule one early before you are matched.

     

    I'd shy away from doing one for a specific baby you are matched with because of all the risks... and having lived through failed matches, it would have been tough to have presents specifically for a baby if it didn't work out.  KWIM?

    image Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months
  • We are having our shower tomorrow.  We waited until someone asked us, and were homestudy approved and matched.
    Adoption Blog Updated 2/15
  • It's really up to you.

    Someone at my work wanted to throw me one when we were matched. Unfortunately (for her) we were matched with a baby already born, so no shower until after she came home. MIL threw one for us when DD was 7 weeks old. It was a blast.

    If you're OK with doing one pre-TPR, go for it.

  • We waited to have a shower until after Sydney was home. They ended up being when she was about 3-4 weeks old. I didn't feel comfortable having a shower before her BM signed. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    She's Forever Ours! Finaliaztion-12.26.12Image and video hosting by TinyPic http://hehasaplanforus.blogspot.com/
  • We are hoping to have a big, celebratory shower after we're home study approved and before matching.  Like Jillian, we would like to enjoy the expecting part.  We've tried for so long and had so many disappointments...  I really want the happy expectation.  :)
    My feet and Miss Heidi the rescue mutt!

    image

    15 treatment cycles: four early m/c
    Moving forward with domestic infant adoption!

    Home study approved 5/13, now just waiting...

  • I had one with friends/family after DD was home, about 3 weeks old. I had one at work when DD was about 1.5 months, just before returning to work.
    I became a mother because of adoption. She is the absolute love of my life. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker formerly known as sw_in_kc
  • We had 2 showers after we came home with DS- also wanted to wait since it was such an unknown time period, but started our registry early- everyone is different though so if it feels right to you, then go for it!
  • As a superstitious italian-American girl we won't be having a show until the baby is born, placed, and the tpr is signed...so probably will do it about two months after baby is born. 

     

     

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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