It kind of upset me!!long

ajcorbs13 · December 2012

Ok feel free to voice your opinion... This is mine and flame away if you must!!

Let me start with tp go out to all hurt by yesterdays tragedy in Kansas City if you don't know a NFL football player shot his 22yr old gf multiple times in front of her mother, drove to the stadium and shot him self leaving his 3 month old daughter orphaned!

We all have problems but how selfish of him to do that to his daughter! Yeah she is young but OMFG really! P is 2 months old and DH was very upset as well, he said "I could never leave my daughter that way"!

They don't know a motive but I am just stunned! I don't care if you hate your childs mother walkthefuck away!

Ok rant over!

Salleybelle · December 2012

This is my first time hearing of this. That is beyond terrible. TP's going out for that family.... My heart is breaking for that innocent helpless baby.

linzeek44 · December 2012

ajcorbs13:
Ok feel free to voice your opinion... This is mine and flame away if you must!!

I don't think saying "You shouldn't kill your gf and kill yourself, orphaning your child" is the least bit flameworthy. I'm pretty sure all (or at least most) of us are gonna say that murder/suicide is not a good idea.

ajcorbs13 · December 2012

linzeek44:
ajcorbs13:
Ok feel free to voice your opinion... This is mine and flame away if you must!!  
I don't think saying "You shouldn't kill your gf and kill yourself, orphaning your child" is the least bit flameworthy. I'm pretty sure all (or at least most) of us are gonna say that murder/suicide is not a good idea.
 

Yeah I just figured SOMEONE out there would think I am being insensitive...

kristyand · December 2012

So we don't know the real situation. If he was super angry and this was his way of taking it out and then he felt doomed and turned the gun around to just end it. That's BEYOND awful. If he was severely depressed, or had some other sort of psychiatric disturbance, selfishness doesn't come in to play and I think is SUCH an inappropriate feeling for someone to have about the person who took their own life. Most who take their life are in fact somehow psychiatrically impaired, and I can affirm from being a therapist in a psychiatric hospital that them knowing others think they are selfish for the thoughts and feelings they no longer seem to be able to help at that point, only comounds their depression and desire to escape.

And lastly, he plays a position that brings about a significant amount of head bashing, concussions and prefrontal cortex injuries. These sorts of injuries can severely alter a persons personality, and usually in the way of anger and depression. DH and I are hoping all the recent violence and awful injury within college and pro-football is going to encourage some serious considerations for change within the game.

I would be willing to bet this guy got hit too hard one too many times in the front of his head, helmet to helmet and this is the unfortunate result of that.

It's beyond awful regardless, but I don't fault him or pass judgment (especially not knowing the situation). I just mourn for his daughter and both his and his gf's families.

ETA: He killed her in front of people he loved, and he killed himself in front of people he loved and respected deeply. That alone is evidence that this wasn't just anger. Honestly, I hurt deeply for him. How dark those last hours of his life must have been.

Holly_1007 · December 2012

gonna have to agree with kristyandruss on this one.

the situation is absolutely awful, but seriously think about how disturbed he must have been to even consider killing the mother of his child and himself.

im not flaming you by any means, but unfortunately you need to lookat the fact that clearly he wasnt thinking rationally. not like it was a whim decision, he had at least a few mins in the car to somewhat think about what he was doing before committing suicide.

its unfortunate for that poor baby and tragic that no one picked up on the fact he was having issues

Jams1002 · December 2012

I agree with KandR ... There is soo much to this story that isn't reported on the news. Probably a long history of domestic abuse and severe mental illness. I'm obviously not excusing what he did, but I don't think this guy just woke up one morning and decided to murder his Gf and kill himself out of a logical mindset.

BeebopandBuddy · December 2012

I agree with KR as well. Part of the law suit that the NFL players have against the league is looking at the high suicide rate among former players. This is by far not the first to kill himself and probably not the last. The first thing I said to my husband when the news broke is that if he left where he killed her and drive to the stadium to kill himself, there must be an implied message that has to do with his football career that he is trying to get across. Otherwise, why would he go there? Because he is unstable and was either seeking help or trying to make a point. It is always sad when these things happen and I pray his daughter will be supported the way she needs to be, but it sounds like there was definitely something very wrong in this man's brain.

Sorry for typos, mobile.

linzeek44 · December 2012

ajcorbs13:
linzeek44:
ajcorbs13:
Ok feel free to voice your opinion... This is mine and flame away if you must!!
I don't think saying "You shouldn't kill your gf and kill yourself, orphaning your child" is the least bit flameworthy. I'm pretty sure all (or at least most) of us are gonna say that murder/suicide is not a good idea.

Yeah I just figured SOMEONE out there would think I am being insensitive...

I'm not sure it's insensitive to be upset because those things are upsetting.

I think it's important to recognize that he probably needed a lot of help that he didn't get, which is just sad. Clearly things were in a really bad place for him and it's terrible that he didn't get the help he needed to not do such drastic, tragic things.

mystrana · December 2012

I used to watch football but don't anymore because of the terrible damage the players incur ..which yes can lead to mental damage which can lead to this horrible situation. It's just so sad on so many levels.

ajcorbs13 · December 2012

LoveLossHopeRepeat:
Pretty sure no one's going to flame you. Why the hell would they?I will say, though, that you're trying to apply simple logic to what was an inherently illogical situation. No one who gets to the point of murdering their loved one and themselves is going to be swayed by something so basic as "don't do that to your daughter." He was broken beyond repair.nbsp;

You are so correct it is completely an illogical situation! I also understand that he was "broken"and that there could be some psychological issues...

It just upset me, and there is probably more to the story than I'll ever know!

08/09/08...our lucky numbers! · December 2012

I 100% agree! I didn't realize there was a child in the picture until my local paper started posting pictures of the three of them together.

I hope that they don't "honor" him at the game this afternoon. There is absolutely nothing to honor.

ajcorbs13 · December 2012

I'm just glad ESPN started showing HER picture instead of just him when they talk about it!

kristyand · December 2012

08/09/08...our lucky numbers!:
I hope that they don't "honor" him at the game this afternoon. There is absolutely nothing to honor.

I don't get angry over much on this board but this makes me angry. Sure, his murdering someone is beyond unacceptable. His taking his own life is tragic. His leaving his daughter behind with out either parent is heart wrenching. But that man was someone's child, someone's friend, a respected and likely well loved man on his team. While I highly doubt they will "honor" him tonight, I certainly hope they feel the room to acknowledge the loss of a beloved teammate and man. His life was worth just as much as yours or mine. There was no honor in how he died or his last few hours here on earth, but lots of people are mourning his death, and they should be given the room to do so however feels most appropriate and sensitive to those left behind in the wake of his tragedy.

Hyaline · December 2012

I guess I have to assume that anyone who does this is truly not in their right mind. I can't imagine leaving DD. How horrible for that family...

08/09/08...our lucky numbers! · December 2012

kristyandruss:
08/09/08...our lucky numbers!:

I hope that they don't "honor" him at the game this afternoon. There is absolutely nothing to honor.

I don't get angry over much on this board but this makes me angry. Sure, his murdering someone is beyond unacceptable. His taking his own life is tragic. His leaving his daughter behind with out either parent is heart wrenching. But that man was someone's child, someone's friend, a respected and likely well loved man on his team. While I highly doubt they will "honor" him tonight, I certainly hope they feel the room to acknowledge the loss of a beloved teammate and man. His life was worth just as much as yours or mine. There was no honor in how he died or his last few hours here on earth, but lots of people are mourning his death, and they should be given the room to do so however feels most appropriate and sensitive to those left behind in the wake of his tragedy.

I have no issue with acknowledging his loss. Honor is GF, and ask for support for his child, but don't honor him. I think there is a difference in honoring someone and in acknowledging that he is gone.

While he was dealing with some serious mental health issues, he still murdered someone.

kristyand · December 2012

I doubt his life will be openly honored due to how it ended. I guess I read "absolutely not to honor" as in reference to his entire person. And I think his person still very well might be worth honoring, just not the ending to his person. I just have an unfortunate amount of experience with suicide (personally and professionally) and with horrific tragedy due to mental illness (professionally) and it makes me think of these things very differently I suppose.

Hyaline · December 2012

kristyandruss:
08/09/08...our lucky numbers!:
I hope that they don't "honor" him at the game this afternoon. There is absolutely nothing to honor.
I don't get angry over much on this board but this makes me angry. Sure, his murdering someone is beyond unacceptable. His taking his own life is tragic. His leaving his daughter behind with out either parent is heart wrenching. But that man was someone's child, someone's friend, a respected and likely well loved man on his team. While I highly doubt they will "honor" him tonight, I certainly hope they feel the room to acknowledge the loss of a beloved teammate and man. His life was worth just as much as yours or mine. There was no honor in how he died or his last few hours here on earth, but lots of people are mourning his death, and they should be given the room to do so however feels most appropriate and sensitive to those left behind in the wake of his tragedy.

Honestly, I hope they don't try to do any kind of public/televised memorial during the game because the situation is so complicated, difficult, and painful that nothing the NFL or networks could come up with would be, IMO, appropriate. Let the families and his teammates grieve and remember him as they see fit, but any kind of public thing would probably come across as cheap and tawdry given the situation.

08/09/08...our lucky numbers! · December 2012

kristyandruss:
I doubt his life will be openly honored due to how it ended. I guess I read "absolutely not to honor" as in reference to his entire person. And I think his person still very well might be worth honoring, just not the ending to his person. I just have an unfortunate amount of experience with suicide (personally and professionally) and with horrific tragedy due to mental illness (professionally) and it makes me think of these things very differently I suppose.

I also have a personal experience with suicide and mental illness. My uncle took his life three years ago leaving a son behind, and i work in the criminal justice system and see MH issues every day. It ruined my grandparents lives. While I mourned his loss with my family I could not and still cannot bring myself to honor him. I cannot get over what he did to his family. He took the cowards way out. Instead of accepting the help that was offerred many times over the years he continued with his substance abuse, which i think ultimately was the reason he took his life. I understand that this was severe mental illness (how can it not be), but on some level I truly believe he knew there are other options and just refused to take them.

I believe this man had mental illness but part of me also believes that he said oh crap i just killed someone and am likely going to get arrested and sent to jail for it so lets take the "easy" way out. Again this is me being a prosecutor here.

I have very strong opinions on this subject, and recognize they are not the most mainstream of opinions and will likely get me flamed! Embarrassed

Sorry for any typos!

ajcorbs13 · December 2012

Me being the football fantastic ESPN has been on all morning!

The team as a whole has decided to have a moment of silence but only the players that choose will "honor" him! And that was the point i was making he took the easy way out!!!!

kristyand · December 2012

ajcorbs13:
And that was the point i was making he took the easy way out!!!!

I still very much disagree, but that's cool.

linzeek44 · December 2012

ajcorbs13:
And that was the point i was making he took the easy way out!!!!

I disagree. I don't think making a decision to end your life is "easy."I think this was already hashed out during a FFFC so I'm not going to get into it.

Jams1002 · December 2012

LoveLossHopeRepeat:
Dismissing suicide as cowardice or the easy way out is mother flipping naive, narrowminded, and so damn ignorant that I cannot begin to wrap my brain around it.

Yup. Selfish is also a word that makes my blood boil.

kristyand · December 2012

linzeek44:
ajcorbs13:
And that was the point i was making he took the easy way out!!!!
I disagree. I don't think making a decision to end your life is "easy."I think this was already hashed out during a FFFC so I'm not going to get into it.

Glad I missed that one.

08/09/08...our lucky numbers! · December 2012

kristyandruss:
linzeek44:

ajcorbs13:
And that was the point i was making he took the easy way out!!!!

I disagree. I don't think making a decision to end your life is "easy."I think this was already hashed out during a FFFC so I'm not going to get into it.

Glad I missed that one.

I must have missed that one too.

linzeek44 · December 2012

08/09/08...our lucky numbers!:
kristyandruss:
linzeek44:

ajcorbs13:
And that was the point i was making he took the easy way out!!!!

I disagree. I don't think making a decision to end your life is "easy."I think this was already hashed out during a FFFC so I'm not going to get into it.

Glad I missed that one.

I must have missed that one too.

Might have been a UO thread. Started with tattoos...

08/09/08...our lucky numbers! · December 2012

linzeek44:
08/09/08...our lucky numbers!:
kristyandruss:
linzeek44:

ajcorbs13:
And that was the point i was making he took the easy way out!!!!

I disagree. I don't think making a decision to end your life is "easy."I think this was already hashed out during a FFFC so I'm not going to get into it.

Glad I missed that one.

I must have missed that one too.

Might have been a UO thread. Started with tattoos...

ahh ok. Tattoos ---- suicide. Interesting change up i suppose.

White0rchid · December 2012

jaimenamie:
LoveLossHopeRepeat:
Dismissing suicide as cowardice or the easy way out is mother flipping naive, narrowminded, and so damn ignorant that I cannot begin to wrap my brain around it.
Yup. Selfish is also a word that makes my blood boil.

Agree 100%. DH lost his only sibling (his brother) to suicide and my BIL (my sister's husband and the father of her 3 daughters) to suicide. I cannot imagine the amount of pain they were in. They were both wonderful and amazing people, and we miss them every single day. While I still grieve them, I am glad that they are no longer in pain. There's no way for me to ever understand what happened, but it would never occur to me to call them selfish and cowardly. Never.

08/09/08...our lucky numbers! · December 2012

bvandalsen:
While I understand your point, I disagree with your thought process here. Suicide is not the coward's way out, nor is it selfish. Suicide is a desperate act by an individual that can no longer tolerate life as it is and can not foresee anything making it better. I also think that however this man spent his final hours does not negate the fact that there are people out there that loved and respected him and will mourn him. Those people deserve the right to pay respects just as anyone else would.

I 100% agree that those people that cared for him can mourn him however they choose. Suicide in this case may have been the cowards way out if in fact he killed his GF out of anger and realized he was going to be held responsible for it. I do believe he was selfish, particularly since there was a child involved. He acted selfishly in taking the mother of his child away from that child. Whatever his reasons he wasn't acting for anyone but himself in doing that.

I think it would also be interesting to know whether there were any previous incidents of violence between them or any other criminal charges in the past.

BlueViolett · December 2012

Suicide is AWFUL. But killing your wife and mother of your child? Beyond tragic. I can put myself in the murdered mothers shoes much easier than I can identify with his reasoning for suicide. I don't think you should be honored if you kill your wife.

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