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April 2012 Moms
KatFCo
member
Feeling so overwhelmed right now (long pity party)
KatFCo
member
I feel like there's just so much going on right now that this may seem jumbled, but it's all kind of added up to me just feeling really overwhelmed.
1. LO's sleep issues are even crappier than ever. He's slept through the night for all of 2 weeks in the last 7 months. Last week I started trying the "No Cry Sleep Solution," and I don't know if it's because he was having teething trouble or what, but now his sleeping is even worse. He won't go to sleep unless he's rocked and eating, that usually also involves lots of crying. Last night he was up from 3-5 for no particular reason. I think I may have to do some form of CIO because I just can't get him to go to sleep on his own. Right now he's only had 30 minutes of sleep since 7 this morning and is laying on the floor screaming because I just needed a break from the last 10 minutes of him screaming in my arms because he's so tired he needs to sleep but just can't fall asleep.
2. I think I'm done pumping. I hate even typing this, but I've held out hope for the last 7 months that miraculously my supply would increase or we'd at least figure out why I just can't make nearly enough, but it hasn't happened. I hate having to try to figure my life around a pump and still have to use formula when all is said and done. And I hate that I've partially bought in to the BFing propaganda so I feel guilty about stopping.
3. I feel guilty that I spend every day at home, doing nothing but take care of LO when DH works 50 hours a week and is now talking about taking a second job on weekends because we're digging ourselves into debt. I can't get a job in my field until next August (applying to university jobs), and any full-time job for me wouldn't pay for daycare. This is another reason I'm giving up the pump--so I can be the one to look for the weekend job.
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Re: Feeling so overwhelmed right now (long pity party)
I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this. That's a lot on your plate.
Micah has never STTN, and any time we've made forward progress on sleeping, he ends up getting some distraction or interuption in our progress. Several nights, he's just needed held all night, but refuses to sleep in bed with us. It always gets better within a few days, but those are always the longest days.
As for pumping, you obviously are doing whatever is best for your family. If it's causing you more stress than it's worth, then I agree that you should slowly give up to preserve your sanity. And I don't know how SAHM's get anything done, especially if YH is working 50 hours/week. On the days that I'm alone with LO, I get nothing done. On the days DH is alone with LO, he gets nothing done. The one day of the week that everyone is home, it's always a frantic rush to take turns watching Micah so something can get done around the house. Then at night, we complain that we just spent our only day together being apart from each other working on the house! This whole raising a kid thing is harder than it looks!
Micah Leonard
Thanks. It does help knowing it's not just me, that other people find it hard too. I tend to have high expectations for myself and then beat myself up when I can't meet them. I sit here and wonder how some people find the time to make their own baby food and such, when I'm lucky if our dinner isn't hamburger helper.
I realized another problem is that I feel so isolated. I never leave the house, except with DS in tow, and I don't have any friends close by to just hang out with without spending money (even gas money is too expensive right now). It's a common SAHM complaint, so nothing original there.
I feel resigned to ending pumping, but I'm going to see what happens if I decrease and still keep one or two. Maybe I can still nurse him in the mornings. I was starting to enjoy the few times he would latch on.
Im sorry you are feeling overwhelmed. I want you to know you are not alone. DS slept through the night at 3 months, but only for about a month.....now he is up 1-2 times a night and will NOT sleep in his crib...the only way he will go back to sleep without screaming is if we put him in our bed. And, even then he is still waking 1-2 times a night. DS has been sick every other week and has had 2 pneumonias. he also has a lung condition that I am constantly running his to the pulmonologist for. I am in grad school, trying to work, and take care of DS while H is working 60 hours a week. I feel like we never see each other and we are both beyond stressed! So, dont feel like you are alone. Its ok to be overwhelmed.
As for the breastfeeding, I felt the same way but I threw in the towel at 8 weeks! So good job for keeping up with it this long. It is much more difficult than what anyone ever tells you. If you are not happy and stressed over it LO can prob sense the stress and would much rather have a happy mommy!
Good luck! Hugs
HA! H is lucky if he even gets hamburger helper! lol
It's an overwhelming time of year! DS is a pretty crappy sleeper too but we did Sleep Easy like 2 months ago and it has improved soooo much. Yes, it does involve crying (which was supprisingly easier for me to deal with than DH), but everyone is much happier now. He does still wake up in the motn sometimes (like the last 3 nights!), but I think he may be teething now so we'll see if the first one pops through sometime soon
I think SAHM guilt must be normal; DH is actually working right now which I hate. He works on building's power systems so he has some jobs that have to be done after-hours/weekends, which he's been doing a lot more of lately to get the OT. He works the 50+ hours a week, every week, and I do feel bad being home. I do my best to keep our house clean, dinner made, etc, (and taking care of LO of course) since I feel like that's my "job", but I know it still doesn't compare to how physically hard he works. And although he doesn't say it, I know he is stressed about money and making sure he works enough. He makes sure our bills are always paid but it sucks to have to dig into savings for things and to not have a safety net there anymore
BUT on the plus side, our Christmas tree smells awesome and Roethlisberger is still out for the Steelers tomorrow so our Ravens are gonna kick some ass; I know it's kind of lame but I'll take any silver linings that I can get!!
Thanks everyone., It does help to know this is all normal. I didn't feel this way with DD because I was in grad school, which meant there was some money coming in and I was able to get out sometimes.
I talked to DH and felt better. I'm starting to wean off the pump, which still makes me sad because I'll never know why my body doesn't make enough milk.
I think I'm also sad because we're probably not having any more children, so this was it for trying to BF.
On the plus side, not trying to BF means I can work hard on getting into shape, and I just found out MIL is getting us a Wii for Christmas, so I can use that to exercise. (of course, it also means AF is going to come back with a vengeance, so boo to that).
Thanks for letting me whine!
hey lady!
i'm just jumping in here because you rang a really familiar bell.
i am TRULY feeling overwhelmed, as well. -and for the first time since we had this baby! i wonder if hitting the 7 month mark is what really tends to break us. it seems like a lot of moms tend to get the "last straw syndrome" around here. i used to be so thrilled, enthusiastic, and no one could burst my mom-bubble. this last month has been a struggle, though. not to take over your pity-party, but here is an example of what is making me feel like i could walk outside, sit on the cold, soggy ground, and cry...:
1. juniper is 7 mos 2 weeks. she has always slept through the night. not anymore. and now that we are trying to kick her out of our bed (we were co-sleepers), she doesn't like to sleep in her crib for more than 2 hours or so. -this is the point where i say we sleep where we sleep best, and just let her back into the bed.
2. she stopped nursing. i have to get her to fall asleep so i can nurse her. i am a full time mom who is nursing, and only supplimenting with 2 tbsp of purees at dinner time. but she just doesn't want to nurse. she wants to play, she wants to bite my nipple, she wants to crawl... she wants to do everything but nurse. and i get engorged. and then she bites me. and i just want to scream.
3. i don't feel guilty for not working, but i DO feel angry that my husband treats my full time job as a mom like he doesn't need to be involved in it. he thinks he is "helping me out" when he comes home from work, by holding her for a minute so i can get a shower. why can't he just naturally take part in her day, rather than thinking of it as a favor? why can't he just participate actively?
i'm sure there is more. i'm sure you had more, too (feel free to spill it, girl). i just want you to know that you are not alone.
and please don't feel guilty for giving up the pump. i am a HARDCORE breastfeeding advocate, but stronger than that, i believe that your boobs are your business. if you don't wanna do it, then don't! no one wants to be hooked up to that machine 6 times a day. just think, after you stop, your boobs will belong to you again. no more struggling to plan your grocery trips and dates around that torture device.
rock on, mam. you take your pity party. we all deserve one. i told my mom that i was feeling the pity party so badly that i was going to decorate the house with streamers and a bunting that simply said "pity".
First, I'm so so sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed. *Big creepy Internet hugs*
Second, a friend of mine has a son a little older than A, and she sent me a message with some tips. She actually went to see a sleep specialist because her son is such an awful sleeper. If you want them, let me know!
Second, if pumping is not working best for you and your family, then that's ok! As long as LO is getting the necessary nutrients, that is what matters. You're an amazing Mom, and obviously making decisions with your brain and heart, and not taking them lightly.
Third... I'm sorry you guys are struggling a bit :-( Let me say this, I feel like the days when I'm home alone with A, (which is every weekend, because DH has Tues/Weds off instead), I get NOTHING done. GL finding a job. Maybe it will be good for you to get out of the house on the weekends!
I've felt the same way many times in the past 8 months. I figure, the most important thing for our little ones is to have a happy mom who is rested enough to function and who isn't stressed out. When I've felt guilty about trying different methods to get my son to sleep or felt bad about not being able to breastfeed and annoyed with pumping, I just try to remind myself that the benefits of having a well rested/happy mom outweigh any possible negatives of any sleep training that you try. Plus, if your baby starts sleeping better it benefits him too. Whether or not you breastfeed doesn't determine whether you're a good mom - cut yourself some slack, you've tried way longer than most people would.
I'll take any tips. The last 2 nights he's only woken up once, but it's getting him to go to sleep that's a problem.
That's the truth! Just going to down to 4 pumps a day I feel so much better, like a load has been lifted.
Thanks everyone for commiserating. The last couple of days have been better, and DH is really understanding. I just need to find some kind of job so we don't go further into debt before I get a teaching position.