Preschool dilemma

sara785 · November 2012

I just had DD 5 days ago. DS has been a handful for the last month or so. Not listening, whining and crying about EVERYTHING, etc, but he's about to turn 3, so we've been expecting it. His behavior has very little, if anything, to do with DD's arrival. His daily routine has remained untouched and we give him about the same amount of attention as usual. Today has been awful and DH and I are considering taking DS to preschool 4 or 5 days a week; he currently goes 3, but we pay for him to go every day. Is it terrible to take him more often? We are both just feeling so overwhelmed and I feel like it may keep him more grounded? Does that make us terrible parents? To dump him at school more often for our own sanity?

animalcrckr · November 2012

I would definitely take him for 5 days/week. We also pay for our boys both go 5 days/week and I do not necessarily take them every single day but they do completely fine on the weeks they do go the full five days.

My kids have fun at school and they keep them on a schedule and really busy. I would not think you are terrible parent for taking him more often. I say do it!

superned · November 2012

Not terrible parents. DD goes to child care five days/week and I'm still home on ML with DS. I try to pick her up early as much as possible (like yesterday I got her early and took her to get a haircut as mother-daughter time), but I think it's good for her to have that routine. Between DS being a more challenging baby and her being bored out of her mind here all day, having child care certainly saves my sanity (and hers).

saturdaynightdoubletree · November 2012

I don't think it's terrible at all. Both my kids are in preschool three days a week right now, and if this particular school offered a 5 day schedule I would probably do it. I'm a former elementary school teacher and keep them busy at home, but it's exhausting, and honestly they love school. The structure is good for them and being around other kids - especially closer to age 3. You always have your mornings, evenings, and weekends to be together in a more relaxed way. Honestly I feel like it's more detrimental for a kid to be home with a tired, fed up parent, than away from the house at preschool. If he likes it, go for it! Especially if you're already paying for it.

LSU628 · November 2012

DD is currently in school 5 days a week. I plan on still taking her while I start my maternity leave next week, and I'll also take her as much as possible once the baby arrives. She likes it, she gets way more activity and structure there than if she is at home, and it keeps her life as normal as possible.

rlyttle · November 2012

My son goes 5 days a week, all day. He will be fine. Try it and if it doesn't work, then back off. You could at least do it for a few months sice you just had a new baby. Congrats!

lynsef · November 2012

I say take him the 4-5 days per week. I'm sure he'll have fun and you're already paying for it. It would not make you a terrible parent and would give you some more one on one time with DD.

sara785 · November 2012

Thank you all so much. I feel so much better after reading what you all have to say. I never planned on keeping him home while I'm off. I already knew that would be a disaster! Preschool is 9am12pm, so it's not even a half day... maybe I shouldn't have felt so guilty!

Becm617 · November 2012

Your sanity counts too!!! It is the quality of the time you spend together, not the quantity.

PunkyBooster · November 2012

Not bad at all. Honestly, a break will do everyone some good, he'll get to play and get away from home for a little while, you will get some much needed 1:1 bonding time with your new baby (congrats!) and most likely, all of you will be happier all around. Win win in my book.

spring_time · December 2012

I think you should wait a little bit before making that decision. You say your DS's change in behavior has very little to do with the arrival of DD. Even though his routine has remained the same, and you feel you are giving him the same amount of attention, toddlers are very attuned to changes. He knows something big has happened in his family. He has probably known for the past couple of months. As mom has slowed down, the time spent with him may not be different in quantity, but perhaps quality. I know I play differently with my DS now that I am tired and sore. I know he recognizes new items coming into the house that he has not seen. A new baby is a huge change for a family, but imagine what it is like for a toddler who doesn't fully understand.

So, while I don't see a problem with sending your DS to preschool for 5 days a week, give him a little time to adjust to the changes at home. At this time, it almost seems like a punishment for him having a normal reaction to change. Definitely do not feel bad about sending him to preschool for 5 days a week, though!!! He will love it!

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