It was the best of times it was the worst of times
We are almost finished with our Foster Care classes and it sounds like we will have our license right before Christmas.
I have been anticipating this since September and have really been looking forward to gearing up for a placement - though I know it may not happen right away.
The week before Thanksgiving my father's health took a turn for the worse. He is a 4 year pancreatic cancer survivor (a miracle, really) and had been doing fantastically. He has been in 2 hospitals in the last 2 weeks and last Friday they moved him to hospice saying he only has days to weeks left.
I would feel very selfish saying to my family and friends that not only am I grieving for my father but I am grieving for missing all the anticipation and celebration of completing our classes and getting our license. So I wanted to share here with you all - because I'm thinking you'll understand how I feel. 
My father and I are not close and he is not close to my kids - but this is still very hard because of course I love him.
Thanks for listening!
Re: It was the best of times it was the worst of times
I do get how you feel, and I'm so sorry that you are going through this hard time. Waiting for our children to come to us was devastating, and the holidays always amplified that for me. No one understood why I was subdued or cried hysterically during mass. No one but my husband knew how angry I was when his New Year's toast was that we'd all be together again the following year (when to me that meant that my son wouldn't be home yet).
Vent here. We get the pain that waiting is. And human emotions are complicated. It's completely okay to be grieving both your father and your children.
TTC September 2010 thru October 2011
SA February 2011: Normal
RE App. October 2011 - Recc. Clomid and IUI
Taking a break from TTC to pursue adoption
Met our 2 year old son in Russia July 2012!
Court trip October 2012
Home November 24 2012!
Back to RE Summer 2013. TTC journey continues:
Dx DOR, endometriosis, low sperm count
Clomid + IUI#1, #2 = BFN / IUI #3 = ???
Laparoscopy scheduled December 2013
Thank you all so much for the kinds words!
We are going to our regular foster care class tonight (only 2 left after this one!) as long as dad stays stable - because a little slice of normal is a complete blessing.
jillianmb - so sorry to hear about your FIL - and so happy for you and your new family.