Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
NicoleWI
member
Re: Related post: Husband and C-section
Really, everyone's situation is different.
If someone is available to help you, then let them help. You don't know how easy or difficult your recovery will be.
We had unexpected complications - nothing serious, but DS had to be in the hospital a total of 9 days, and I stayed with him. My parents had been able to come for the birth, and they helped with everything at home while I was stuck at the hospital.
DH stayed with me the first two days after DS was born, then off and on after that. It's good to have someone there to help since you might have a hard time getting up and down, you might be loopy/tired from the medication, etc.
DH stayed with me the first two nights in the hospital. The third night, I sent him home in time to have dinner with DS. DD went to the nursery and the nurses brought her to me to BF. Worked out great.
My mom stayed with us for a few days after I got home from the hospital. She was mostly helping with DS and running errands. It was great to have her help! I was able to "sleep when the baby sleeps." I think getting a little extra rest made for a speedier recovery.
DD was born on a Tuesday, so DH took the rest of the week off. Then we had the weekend at home together, and he went back to work on Monday.
If you can have help I say take it! My first I recovered very quickly b/c it was my first I was in the best shape of my life and I could REST. With my second, I had a LO to chase after also and it took me a while to recover. This time I have TWO LO's to chase after. My husband will be at the hospital with me the three nights I'm in the hospital. The first 24hrs are mandatory for another adult to stay in your room if you want your baby in the room. If someone doesn't stay with you, baby has to go to the nursery at night, so he will be there at the hospital.
When we get home, it will all honestly depend on how I'm feeling. I can't go up and down the stairs to do laundry and I won't be able to stand for long periods of time to cook. So, depending on how I'm feeling, depends on if he takes any more days off from work. If I need the help he will take off, If I don't my mom will be here at 1:30 everyday when she gets off work. My mom and nana will come over when needed to help out and bring us dinner.
It honestly makes a HUGE difference to have help. I wouldn't want LIVE IN help but someone coming in and out helping is great. Plus I won't be able to play and take care of our other two kids as much as I would like, so having the extra help and different faces coming in and out of the house will be great!!
I did need DH the first night because I couldn't get up yet (DD was born at night) and that was the only way we could keep DD with us. I did NOT want her to go to the nursery. If you want your LO in the nursery, then you won't need your DH in the hospital.
At home I did need some help. I wasn't that comfortable carrying LO on the stairs. There was no way I was doing any type of house work. I would say I could manage the baby on my own once we were settled in one level of the house, but that was it. If you are the type of person who can let things go, you will be fine. If dust or piles of laundry annoy you, you will need help. If you have young children that need carrying around, you will need help. You cannot pick up a 30 pound toddler.
HTH
I may be in the minority here but J did not stay with me. He went home and stayed with Mimi so her routine wouldn't be messed up. If I needed any help I could call the nurses, I got up to walk as soon as I could and it really wasn't bad. I didn't want him to have to sleep on an uncomfortable hospital "couch" for something the nurses could help me with.
When I got home, he was off for 2 weeks and that was a tremendous help but I also didn't have anyone else but him. I didn't really need him the whole two weeks but it was nice. I did take the medicine (the good stuff) so I would be able to get around with no pain and take care of the kids.
Do whatever makes you comfortable.
My DH never stayed overnight at the hospital, not even with our first child. He actually went to work while I was in the hospital, other than the day the girls we born. He could only take one week off for our first two daughters' births, and I preferred him to work while I was in the hospital and take off when I came home. I didn't need any help in the hospital beyond the nursing staff. It was great when he was there, but I didn't NEED him there. Also, with all the disturbances throughout the night from nurses, I felt it was better for him to sleep at home where he could, you know, sleep.
After our third child was born, DH couldn't take much time off at all because his boss was hospitalized at the time. I came home from the hospital on Sunday, and DH went to work the next day. I didn't have much help. My mom would pop in when she could, but it was usually just long enough to feed the older two kids lunch, or something. Was it fun taking care of a newborn and two toddlers post c/s? No, but you just do what you have to do. So, having help the first couple of weeks is nice if you can get it, but you'll get by without it if you have to.
For me, the hardest part was doing things that involved lifting my oldest. At the time, she still slept in the crib, so I had to lift her in and out for naptime, but that was it. She was able to climb into her chair to eat and do the stairs herself. I wasn't supposed to lift my then 1 1/2-yo, but if I bent at the knees and kept my back straight, lifting her mostly with my arm muscles wasn't really painful. She weighed about 26 lbs at the time.
Dh went to work while I was in the hospital (besides the day DD was born) so he had more time at home after I got home from the hospital. I thought that was a really good idea. DD was born on a Tuesday, so he worked Sun/Mon/Wed/Thurs/Fri so he didn't miss any work at all that week. I got out of the hospital late Fri afternoon and his two weeks at home technically started the following Monday when DD was 6 days old. That meant he didn't go back until the day before DD turned 3 weeks old yet only used 2 weeks of vacation time. I definitely needed someone there full time for the first week at home as I had a tough recovery due to some complications after delivery. The second week he was at home was nice for bonding time, but I wouldn't consider it a necessity.
I'm planning for my husband to stay with me the first 2 nights (my c/s is currently scheduled for 3pm) and send him home to be with our son for night 3 (and 4 if I get stuck there 4 nights). I don't want to disrupt my son's schedule TOO much. My c/s is scheduled for a Friday, so most of the craziness will happen over the weekend thankfully!
My husband will be staying home with me full time for 1 week & then I will be on my own (just me and baby, my son will got to school like normal) the rest of Mat. leave. Thankfully my dad will likely swing by a couple of times a week to hang out/help out if needed!