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C-sections
NicoleWI
member
Related post: Husband and C-section
NicoleWI
member
in C-sections
Last time, my DH went home part of the time post-birth to take care of other kids and pretty much went right back to work PT, since I Had other PT help. What should HE plan for this time? Will he need to be in the hospital more or less the whole time I am this time??
What about after the birth if I have PT help? Do I need someone there the first week home FT? Thanks.
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Re: Related post: Husband and C-section
Really, everyone's situation is different.
If someone is available to help you, then let them help. You don't know how easy or difficult your recovery will be.
We had unexpected complications - nothing serious, but DS had to be in the hospital a total of 9 days, and I stayed with him. My parents had been able to come for the birth, and they helped with everything at home while I was stuck at the hospital.
DH stayed with me the first two days after DS was born, then off and on after that. It's good to have someone there to help since you might have a hard time getting up and down, you might be loopy/tired from the medication, etc.
DH stayed with me the first two nights in the hospital. The third night, I sent him home in time to have dinner with DS. DD went to the nursery and the nurses brought her to me to BF. Worked out great.
My mom stayed with us for a few days after I got home from the hospital. She was mostly helping with DS and running errands. It was great to have her help! I was able to "sleep when the baby sleeps." I think getting a little extra rest made for a speedier recovery.
DD was born on a Tuesday, so DH took the rest of the week off. Then we had the weekend at home together, and he went back to work on Monday.
If you can have help I say take it! My first I recovered very quickly b/c it was my first I was in the best shape of my life and I could REST. With my second, I had a LO to chase after also and it took me a while to recover. This time I have TWO LO's to chase after. My husband will be at the hospital with me the three nights I'm in the hospital. The first 24hrs are mandatory for another adult to stay in your room if you want your baby in the room. If someone doesn't stay with you, baby has to go to the nursery at night, so he will be there at the hospital.
When we get home, it will all honestly depend on how I'm feeling. I can't go up and down the stairs to do laundry and I won't be able to stand for long periods of time to cook. So, depending on how I'm feeling, depends on if he takes any more days off from work. If I need the help he will take off, If I don't my mom will be here at 1:30 everyday when she gets off work. My mom and nana will come over when needed to help out and bring us dinner.
It honestly makes a HUGE difference to have help. I wouldn't want LIVE IN help but someone coming in and out helping is great. Plus I won't be able to play and take care of our other two kids as much as I would like, so having the extra help and different faces coming in and out of the house will be great!!
I did need DH the first night because I couldn't get up yet (DD was born at night) and that was the only way we could keep DD with us. I did NOT want her to go to the nursery. If you want your LO in the nursery, then you won't need your DH in the hospital.
At home I did need some help. I wasn't that comfortable carrying LO on the stairs. There was no way I was doing any type of house work. I would say I could manage the baby on my own once we were settled in one level of the house, but that was it. If you are the type of person who can let things go, you will be fine. If dust or piles of laundry annoy you, you will need help. If you have young children that need carrying around, you will need help. You cannot pick up a 30 pound toddler.
HTH
I may be in the minority here but J did not stay with me. He went home and stayed with Mimi so her routine wouldn't be messed up. If I needed any help I could call the nurses, I got up to walk as soon as I could and it really wasn't bad. I didn't want him to have to sleep on an uncomfortable hospital "couch" for something the nurses could help me with.
When I got home, he was off for 2 weeks and that was a tremendous help but I also didn't have anyone else but him. I didn't really need him the whole two weeks but it was nice. I did take the medicine (the good stuff) so I would be able to get around with no pain and take care of the kids.
Do whatever makes you comfortable.
My DH never stayed overnight at the hospital, not even with our first child. He actually went to work while I was in the hospital, other than the day the girls we born. He could only take one week off for our first two daughters' births, and I preferred him to work while I was in the hospital and take off when I came home. I didn't need any help in the hospital beyond the nursing staff. It was great when he was there, but I didn't NEED him there. Also, with all the disturbances throughout the night from nurses, I felt it was better for him to sleep at home where he could, you know, sleep.
After our third child was born, DH couldn't take much time off at all because his boss was hospitalized at the time. I came home from the hospital on Sunday, and DH went to work the next day. I didn't have much help. My mom would pop in when she could, but it was usually just long enough to feed the older two kids lunch, or something. Was it fun taking care of a newborn and two toddlers post c/s? No, but you just do what you have to do. So, having help the first couple of weeks is nice if you can get it, but you'll get by without it if you have to.
For me, the hardest part was doing things that involved lifting my oldest. At the time, she still slept in the crib, so I had to lift her in and out for naptime, but that was it. She was able to climb into her chair to eat and do the stairs herself. I wasn't supposed to lift my then 1 1/2-yo, but if I bent at the knees and kept my back straight, lifting her mostly with my arm muscles wasn't really painful. She weighed about 26 lbs at the time.
Dh went to work while I was in the hospital (besides the day DD was born) so he had more time at home after I got home from the hospital. I thought that was a really good idea. DD was born on a Tuesday, so he worked Sun/Mon/Wed/Thurs/Fri so he didn't miss any work at all that week. I got out of the hospital late Fri afternoon and his two weeks at home technically started the following Monday when DD was 6 days old. That meant he didn't go back until the day before DD turned 3 weeks old yet only used 2 weeks of vacation time. I definitely needed someone there full time for the first week at home as I had a tough recovery due to some complications after delivery. The second week he was at home was nice for bonding time, but I wouldn't consider it a necessity.
I'm planning for my husband to stay with me the first 2 nights (my c/s is currently scheduled for 3pm) and send him home to be with our son for night 3 (and 4 if I get stuck there 4 nights). I don't want to disrupt my son's schedule TOO much. My c/s is scheduled for a Friday, so most of the craziness will happen over the weekend thankfully!
My husband will be staying home with me full time for 1 week & then I will be on my own (just me and baby, my son will got to school like normal) the rest of Mat. leave. Thankfully my dad will likely swing by a couple of times a week to hang out/help out if needed!