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January 2013 Moms
ahowell88
member
Visitors in the hospital?
ahowell88
member
Do you plan on notifying people when you deliver or wait to let everyone (other than close family, obviously) know after you've already gone home? I have had several friends that did this recently (letting everyone know once they were home). I have no problem telling people we would prefer no visitors, but feel like maybe it could be avoided altogether? My father is a pastor and EVERYONE wants to visit and hold the baby, etc. I remember with my first son, we had SO many people coming to the hospital to visit and while I appreciated their thoughtfulness, I was exhausted! Also, I had issues with breastfeeding (LO not latching well, poor supply, etc.) and having so many people there made it more stressful. Also, last time, his mom brought one of HER friends that neither I nor my husband even knew and just expected that we would let this complete stranger hold our newborn! It was so awkward telling her no and I don't really want to go through anything like that again. I feel like I'm being kind of selfish, but I want as much time to bond with my LO (and work on the breastfeeding thing, as it was such an issue last time) before going back home. Any thoughts/opinions/advice would be appreciated?
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Re: Visitors in the hospital?
I think it's fair for you to say no visitors or grandparents only. Just say that last time was too much and you want a different experience. People can see the baby once you've recovered from delivery.
I don't mind if grandparents visit us in the hospital but no one else is welcome while I'm recovering and learning how to nurse.
This. With DS we had our parents (both sets of grandparents) in town and staying with us. It was too much. I didn't mind them visiting in the hospital, but once we got home we found we just wanted time to figure out our new family. This time we are asking everyone to give us 2 weeks before they come to visit. This will give us time to adapt to being a family of 4 and also to get nursing started (hoping it works this time!).
We'll probably send out a text to a few important people when I go into labor, then announce officially after shes born. Im sure I'll be taking 1000 pictures in the hospital and I'll want to share them with everyone!
I have no problem with visitors, I think my friends and family will be respectful enough to call first and ask when a good time to come by would be. If the baby gets hungry while theyre there I'll breastfeed her. If theyre uncomfortable with that they can leave but I dont think most of them will care.
Make sure to tell everyone your wishes before things start to happen! If you explain it like you did above (need time to rest, BF, etc.) most people would understand.
We will tell our parents when we go to the hospital and when the baby is born, i.e. probably send out a picture with the stats. I do want time to rest and attempt to bf before anyone else comes to visit or hold the baby. I'm pretty private, so all of this "labor/delivery stuff" is not for others' eyes/ears. Also, depending on the length of labor and time of day/night will decide how things go!
I think it would be perfectly fine to tell people that you need some time to bond with your new baby and therefore only the grandparents will be allowed to visit at the hospital. You could probably even let hospital security know that only this-person and that-person are allowed to visit you, just in case some people ignore you.
I had a hospital birth with DS but since he was born at 10:37pm I didn't have to worry about people visiting at that time. We made it clear that under no circumstances were people to come to the hospital and sit in the waiting room while I was in labor, etc. The next day we were visited by both sets of grandparents, DH's sisters, my BFF and another close friend, DH's best friend, DH's grandmother, his aunt and his uncle, and looking back that was really too many people. It was really awkward at one point because I was alone with DS trying to get him to latch, when all of a sudden there was a knock at the door and DH's uncle walked right in. Oy.
We personally LOVE visitors! This time we are going to REALLY try to breastfeed, so we will probably ask our family to not visit as often. The first day we have EVERYONE there! Grandparents, aunts, cousins, siblings, etc. After that, we just have grandparents and our kids drop in and out. We do have our pastor and 1 aunt show up one day out of our stay. My favorite great-aunt and uncle drives 2.5 hours to see the baby so there is no way I'm denying them privileges to come up and hold her as long as they want
But other than that, everyone comes the first day to see baby and then after that they wait until baby comes home. I want our family there we are a VERY CLOSE KNIT family and I wouldn't want it any other way. I want them there the FIRST day, but after that I think besides the grandparents and our kids we will be limiting the visitors just because I want to breastfeed this baby and I've heard they breastfeed ALOT during those first few days!
The only thing that we are doing majorly different this time around than we did with the other two is that this time, I had a 1 hour zone where noone could visit me in recovery and as soon as that hour hit EVERYONE came in 2 at a time (we have c/s's) to hold baby. This time, I'm holding her and snuggling her and just letting daddy and I have our time for a couple hours before everyone starts coming in. I really want to try to get her to BF before everyone comes in and I want as much skin to skin as possible with her since they won't be taking her to the nursery. Our two kids will also be the only ones that hold her first.