Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
beeunit
member
Re: Would LOVE some advice from BTDT moms..
I was told LO was already 10 lb at 37 weeks with 99% percentile abdomen. Delivered an 8 lb baby two weeks later with a big but not freakishly large belly.
I would never schedule a c-section based on a growth scan (my LO was footling breech). C-sections suck, chances are you won't get to hold of BF (if you want to) your LO right away. My recovery was great overall, but I had to stay in recovery for three hours while they tried to regulate my BP and pulse. It sucked. I still find it miserable to think about and I still mourn not having experienced labor.
Good luck with your choice!
It's a tough decision. My SIL went through the big-baby growth scans. At 36 weeks, the baby measured about 8 and a half pounds. They decided to get to 40 weeks and figure it out from there. The 40 week scan showed baby at 10lb 9oz.
Knowing scans aren't 100% accurate, my brother and SIL decided to go ahead and have the c/s that day. Baby was born at 10lb 6oz.
So yeah, they can be off. But they can also be pretty darn close.
Why won't they do another scan in a couple weeks?
Thank you for this. So far, the only stories I've heard are ones of the opposite happening. I'm glad to know that sometimes they are correct. They were correct for my MIL as well (19 years ago..).
I'm not sure why they won't. They never said they wouldn't, I just assumed it was my last since he's already discussing the c-section. Maybe I should ask that at my next appointment!
It sounds like you delivered a 9 lb baby already? I personally wouldn't schedule a c/s. If you are going through labor and he doesn't seem to be descending, you can always make the call then. But I'm not one to elect for major surgery if I don't NEED it.
Talk to your doctor at your next appt. It's possible you also go early and deliver another baby the same size.
Yes, I did. I think what I'm afraid of is he's already that big at 36 weeks..he's only going to get bigger by 39 (when they would either induce or peform c-section). I definitely plan on speaking to him further at my next appointment. He was in a MAJOR hurry today..I think he must have had to go deliver someone, because he was in and out in a matter of 3 minutes. And that was with a GBS test and checking for dilation.
I totally agree. I plan on having my mind pretty much made up, and then once I talk to him at my next appointment, I'll let that cement my decision.
Thank you!
According to my OB, I'm the first patient whom she has encouraged to have a c-section just due to the size of the baby. LO had measured 3-4 weeks ahead via ultrasound since 10 weeks.
I also would NEVER schdule a c section based on an u/s late in pregnant. At all. Especially since it's not your first, your labor may progress just fine and baby may fit just fine.
I say see how it goes. If baby has distress or won't fit when you push, that is one thing, but an outright c section seems like a poor suggestion from your doctor.
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
This. even if your baby is big, you've already given birth vaginally to a large baby - your body will be more efficient this time, etc. etc. I would not want to have a c/s if it can be avoided. And also, if you're thinking about having more kids, planning a VBAC is a pain.
My VBAC baby was 10 lb, 10 oz and just under 23" long. We had no idea he was going to be that big (I refused a late u/s). I would definitely ask for more of them, as you're still pretty early.
Good luck!!
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
While I have not really BTDT, my situation is somewhat similar.
My first was estimated at 8lbs 10oz and was born 9lbs.
I had fourth degree tearing, over 30 stitches, an episiotomy and a vaccuum delivery. After three hours of pushing, I almost ended up in an emergency c-section. Not sure what your first delivery was like but my recovery was hell and took months.
This baby is measuring large (having a scan next week) but she is estimated to be around 9lbs as well. My doctor has given me the choice to have the c-section or to try to deliver naturally. His concern is that the scar tissue will tear again and cause more problems for me, longer healing time and might end up in a c-section anyway.
I am opting for the c-section (after much debate). Taking care of a toddler and dealing with the pain and healing I did before just doesn't make sense to me if I can avoid it. It has been a very emotional decision (as I am sure you know!) but I think this is what is best for baby, me and my family.
Good luck to you, hope this helps a little.
Thank you for this. When DS1 was born, I had a 2nd degree tear w/a vaccuum delivery. I am sure that my body could do it again, but my doctor said that when the head is measuring off the charts like his is, he doesn't recommend trying to deliver vaginally. I'm still really weighing all of my options, but all of these posts help!
For sure I wouldn't do a C-Section based on a growth scan. I'd try to have him vaginally, and if he really wasn't fitting, then the C-Section should be the last resort. Just what I would do in that situation.
Tough question, I would try to go vaginally. with DS1 they told me he would be over 10lbs. Well he wasnt. He was 8.13 lbs but he did get stuck because of the size of his head and an induction gone bad I ended with an emergency c/s. I wouldn't have done it any other way. I was glad I tried to go vaginally but it made sense when they could tell his head was stuck to rush to the c/s. I had a repeat c/s with DS2 because again predictions were that he was over 10lbs with a big head. He was 9.1 and big old head.
I was told LO was 8lbs 11oz at 36 1/2 weeks. I labored and pushed, but LO's head ended up stuck in my pelvis. I had to have an emergency C-section and he was wedged so far in my pelvis that they ended up tearing my uterus in a couple places
It was scary.
Point of story: LO ended up being only 8lb 5oz at 39 1/2 weeks. However, his head was 15cm. If you labor and end up with a C-section then at least you tried. I hate that I ended in C-section, but if I had not tried I would have never known. Plus, now that I can only have C-sections (due to the tears) I am glad I at least got to experience labor and pushing once in my life.
I know I'm in the minority here, but I'd lean towards having a c-section. I know you can't base your decisions on 'what if's', but working in L&D, I'd be worried about a shoulder dystocia. It's a very tough decision to make, and it is your second baby, so you know you can handle a bigger baby. I'd have another discussion with your doctor. I'd be torn on this decision, but maybe because I know and see too much.