Trying for multiples

hesakeeper · November 2012

Please tell me people don't actually do this...?

I made a half-joking comment the other day about wanting multiples (please don't take that the wrong way - that's not the point of this post). But one of the girls in the group I was talking with, that I don't know very well, got excited and told me to eat yams and blahblahblah. Ummm ... whaaaat? Do people actually try for multiples? When we decide to ttc I plan to chart and take some folic acid but other than that I didn't know people ate things for wanting multiples or a certain gender.

rinascita · November 2012

Twins and higher order multiples are a blessing! Regardless if you try for them or not, they are all individuals and a gift!!

I get your question and you even said it wasn't the point of your post, but I find this offensive to be quite honest...

::Insert gif of Stephanie Tanner from Full House saying 'How Rude!' here...::

sugacattey · November 2012

I don't find the question offensive!

I don't know about "trying" for them but several people have told me that they've always wanted twins. I'm sure some people do try though I doubt anything other than fertility treatments would really increase their odds.

I believe the yam thing is because there is an unusually high incidence of multiples from a certain part of the world where they rely heavily on a type of yam as a part of their diet so some people think the two may be related... though no one really knows if it's true or not.

rinascita · November 2012

sugacattey:

I believe the yam thing is because there is an unusually high incidence of multiples from a certain part of the world where they rely heavily on a type of yam as a part of their diet so some people think the two may be related... though no one really knows if it's true or not.

This! A lot of women will eat yams (even though regular yams found in the US supermarkets aren't the same kind) just to increase their fertility not just those trying to have multiples...

There are tons of articles on the Igbo-Ora town in Nigeria that suggests the link between their eating habits and their twin population though...

pea-kay · November 2012

I don't find it offensive. Just naive.

Jen0204 · November 2012

I don't find this offensive at all. I'd much rather see a post with someone acknowledging that a multiples pregnancy and having multiples is very difficult rather then yet another post about how someone's husband's third cousin's wife had twins, so what are the odds that they'll have twins, because that would be so cool!

Excitedtostart · November 2012

Well, when we did IVF we put two back, so does that mean we were trying?

If you want to eat a boat load of yams, more power to you, so long as you don't turn into an Oompa Loompa. But doing things to more actively increase your odds (like using fertility drugs without a Drs supervision - ridiculous, but it happens) is downright stupid and dangerous.

hesakeeper · November 2012

Excitedtostart:
Well, when we did IVF we put two back, so does that mean we were trying?

If you want to eat a boat load of yams, more power to you, so long as you don't turn into an Oompa Loompa. But doing things to more actively increase your odds (like using fertility drugs without a Drs supervision - ridiculous, but it happens) is downright stupid and dangerous.

I don't know if you were using the word "you" to be directed at me or just people in general, but I don't plan to increase my yam supply or whatever to have multiples. Wink

Also, I don't think you, or those using IVF, use it specifically for multiples. My post was mainly because some girl I barely know was telling me that it was common for people to try for multiples and I had not ever heard that before. I agree, people can be stupid and dangerous.

pixiem38 · November 2012

Jen0204:
I don't find this offensive at all. I'd much rather see a post with someone acknowledging that a multiples pregnancy and having multiples is very difficult rather then yet another post about how someone's husband's third cousin's wife had twins, so what are the odds that they'll have twins, because that would be so cool!

This. Before being.pregnany.with.twins, i.thought twin.pregnany.was harder, but in a naive "oh, you gets lots bigger and more uncomfortable" way. I.did.not.give any thought whatsoevee to the.constant worry.over everything.else. This is probably the hardest thing i have ever done, and they are not even.here yet. My mother is (WAS!!!) an "OMG!!!Twins! You are so.lucky! You can have two.cute babies and dress them the same!!!!".person, but now.seeing what.i have had to go.through, she.has.sort.of.changd her.tune.a.bit (although two.or.more.cute babies together is so freaking.cute!#!!).

Excitedtostart · November 2012

hesakeeper:
Excitedtostart:
Well, when we did IVF we put two back, so does that mean we were trying?

If you want to eat a boat load of yams, more power to you, so long as you don't turn into an Oompa Loompa. But doing things to more actively increase your odds (like using fertility drugs without a Drs supervision - ridiculous, but it happens) is downright stupid and dangerous.

I don't know if you were using the word "you" to be directed at me or just people in general, but I don't plan to increase my yam supply or whatever to have multiples.

Also, I don't think you, or those using IVF, use it specifically for multiples. My post was mainly because some girl I barely know was telling me that it was common for people to try for multiples and I had not ever heard that before. I agree, people can be stupid and dangerous.

Sorry, that sounded snarkier than I meant it to. And that was a general You, not specifically YOU.

hesakeeper · November 2012

rinascita:
Twins and higher order multiples are a blessing! Regardless if you try for them or not, they are all individuals and a gift!!

I wholeheartedly agree. I'm sorry if you took my post the wrong way because there's a lot reasons why I would love to have multiples, but I was just very surprised to hear that people try specifically for multiples (just like people try for a specific gender). I just have always thought "We want kids, so we'll plan for them, chart, and if it happens, it happens and we'll be forever grateful with what we get." and it seems strange that people think "Okay I'll eat this for a boy, or avoid that for a girl, and load up on yams because I want twins!"

pixiem38 · November 2012

My above point (which somehow.got lost in my ramblings) is just that.people are CLUELESS about it for the most part....so it does not surprise me at all that people would eat.yams to try and make multiple babies. Dumb, but not surprising.

hesakeeper · November 2012

pixiem38:
Before being.pregnany.with.twins, i.thought twin.pregnany.was harder, but in a naive "oh, you gets lots bigger and more uncomfortable" way. I.did.not.give any thought whatsoevee to the.constant worry.over everything.else. This is probably the hardest thing i have ever done, and they are not even.here yet. My mother is (WAS!!!) an "OMG!!!Twins! You are so.lucky! You can have two.cute babies and dress them the same!!!!".person, but now.seeing what.i have had to go.through, she.has.sort.of.changd her.tune.a.bit (although two.or.more.cute babies together is so freaking.cute!#!!).

My moms helps out once a week with a family member's triplets and I've joined her a few times. They had five kids under five at one point. They had 2 boys, and wanted to try for a girl... and ended up pregnant with triplets (but there were 2 girls, yay!). What a joy it was to help out, but man! What a hectic household they have. Quite overwhelming at times.

hesakeeper · November 2012

pixiem38:
My above point (which somehow.got lost in my ramblings) is just that.people are CLUELESS about it for the most part....so it does not surprise me at all that people would eat.yams to try and make multiple babies. Dumb, but not surprising.

rinascita · November 2012

hesakeeper:
rinascita:

Twins and higher order multiples are a blessing! Regardless if you try for them or not, they are all individuals and a gift!!

I wholeheartedly agree. I'm sorry if you took my post the wrong way because there's a lot reasons why I would love to have multiples, but I was just very surprised to hear that people try specifically for multiples (just like people try for a specific gender). I just have always thought "We want kids, so we'll plan for them, chart, and if it happens, it happens and we'll be forever grateful with what we get." and it seems strange that people think "Okay I'll eat this for a boy, or avoid that for a girl, and load up on yams because I want twins!"

I didn't think it was your intent, it just rubbed me the wrong way... in a 'why would you ever want to have more than one at once?' on a board full of mothers and expectant mothers of multiples so it is our life...

We were shocked to find out we were having twins, and it definitely has been a struggle where I don't feel like I really have been able to enjoy the pregnancy as much as my friends have with their singeltons. So many complications that they are monitoring for, and google is NEVER your friend when you try to self-educate.

I'll admit that it is nice to have someone other than a fellow MoM acknowledge the fact it isn't all puppies, rainbows, and fluffy clouds though... and mine aren't even here yet.

Rynleigh · November 2012

I was actively trying for a boy, but only because I already have my two girls and I really wanted the opportunity to experience raising a boy, as well - but I never would have intentionally tried to have multiples... I wouldn't want to do anything to purposefully try to go through a higher-risk pregnancy... I'm very happy that our twins appear to be boys - but I would have loved them if they were girls, if there were only one of them, if there were three of them, etc.

Ann003 · November 2012

DH's co-worker asked him if I ate a bunch of yam skins to pop an "extra" egg. I had a friend of a friend ask me if I prayed for twins. When it's a comment that doesn't offend me, I just answer them honestly. Like PP said, most people just focus on the twin part and not the difficult pregnancy, birth, newborn stage part.

melmarie26 · November 2012

I'll try to be diplomatic here.

I see what everyone is trying to say. You can take offense either way. Like, how dare you insinuate that you WOULDN'T want to be a MoM because it's such a blessing. Or why WOULD you want to subject your babies and yourself to an uncomfortable, high risk pregnancy? Not to mention how difficult it can be those first couple months.

I dont get angered or offended by ignorance. Not that ignorance is always a bad thing. I'm glad I didn't know in the beginning what I knew now or I might have fretted myself into a frenzy. Or worried about things that never happened.

Being a MoM is awesome but, it has also been tough. Very worth it.

ETA Better to be pissed off than pissed on ;

Mrs. Alice · November 2012

I used to find that sort of behavior kind of offensive especially from anyone who knew everything we went through to have healthy twins. Quite frankly it would make me want to scream because of the scary pregnancy and months in the hospital were still very fresh for me and it felt like a slap in the face. I don't know why. I know most people just see them and think of the fun things, like how cute two at a time would be, all the attention, and the matching outfits, etc. They don't really consider the difficulties and risks which come along with multiples. Don't get me wrong, twins are awesome but it still boggles my mind why anyone would "try" to have more than one. The only exception I can see is certain cases with fertility treatments.

HisBelovedPrincess · November 2012

Stick out tongue I didn't know about the yam thing until after I was pregnant with my twin boys. Now, I don't believe that it could make that big of a difference...and continue to them like they are going out of style (what can I say, I LOVE sweet potato...fries, mashed, in dishes, they are my favorite veggie!).....If I should happen to conceive twins for our second pregnancy (whenever that will be)...well...I might start wondering about the connection Until then....;)

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