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July 2013 Moms
Stay home or work
This is obviously a long ways away but anybody else wanting to be a stay at home mom? Or will you keep working? I'm thinking I want to stay at home even if it takes some sacrifices
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Stay home or work
DD2: Lucia (Lucy) 07/13
♥BFP #1 "Spawn"- 02/23/11 | EDD: 11/01/11 | natural m/c 03/20/11 @7w5d♥
♥BFP #2 "Offspring"- 11/10/12 | EDD: 07/25/13 | incomplete m/c 12/14/12 @8w1d | D&C 12/21/12♥
♥BFP #3 "Progeny" - 02/16/15 | It's a BOY!! | EDD: 10/17/15 | BD: 10/23/15♥
All AL Always Welcome
I think it depends on your situation. If you can afford to stay at home then why not? You could always pick up a weekend gig, just to get out. However, if you can't afford it like really afford it then you should really consider that as well. The economy is crappy right now, and people are willing to take any job so if you have a good career then maybe you should think about it.
For example: My cousin makes $30 an/hr and lives in a smaller town so it's considered good money. But her hubby at the time only made $14 an hr. She wanted to quit to stay home with her two girls who were 4 and 2. Her job was/is hard to come across, and she'd never get it back. Her girls would start school in few years so it was a lot to give up. She decided to stay at her job, even though now her hubby makes 25-30 as well, but her kids are now 5 and 3.
My situation is a little different. I live in a big city and daycare is pricey. I have 3 kids and only 1 is in school. So for me to work would be pointless. But my husband makes good money so it doesn't affect us for me not to work.
If you decide to stay home just budget the money first and try to live on one income and see how well you do. Good luck!
FFS, really?
But my FI will still have a semester or two of school to finish up, so there's no other option right now. But once he's done with school we might be able to work something else out, especially if theres a No. 2!! :]
I'm staying home - even before we got married we tried to make decisions that would allow for me to stay home when the time came (e.g. bought a house way under our dual income budget, only bought cars we could pay off in 1 year, no debt, etc.). It will still be a change for us, but I feel like we've prepared the best we could have. I'm a nurse and do plan on picking up something part time once the baby is a little older.
Missing Our July Sparkler
BFP#1-11/12/12, MMC 1/16/13-baby stopped growing @ 9wks, found out at 13wks, D&E 1/25/13
BFP#2-4/23/13 EDD-01/02/14 baby BOY born 12/31/13 Michael Cameron
always my babies
Seriously?
I'll still be working full time AND raising my children. thankyouverymuch.
There are days here and there where I wish I could SAH, but in the grand scheme of things I love my job and I feel like she has gotten SO much out of our awesome daycare that I would actually feel a little guilty not being able to provide that. I know some are cut out to be awesome SAHMs who do activities and are engaged all day, but I just know I don't have that in me!
TTC since 6/2003. m/c 9/14/03 8 weeks, 5 chemical pregnancies, mmc 6/04 12 weeks, Michael born sleeping 5/25/05 at 22weeks always our angel, fought ovarian cancer and won, m/c 4/06 5.2 weeks and 7/07 6.6 weeks,Our Miracle baby girl born 4/8/10,mc 12/18/11 at 5.3 weeks, BFP 10/26/12 dating u/s on 11/8/12 showing a strong heartbeat!EDD July 4,2013. RCS on 6/27. Baby boy in NICU for 8 long and scary days before he was able to come home. We are now a happy family of 4
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Wow, really?
♥BFP #1 "Spawn"- 02/23/11 | EDD: 11/01/11 | natural m/c 03/20/11 @7w5d♥
♥BFP #2 "Offspring"- 11/10/12 | EDD: 07/25/13 | incomplete m/c 12/14/12 @8w1d | D&C 12/21/12♥
♥BFP #3 "Progeny" - 02/16/15 | It's a BOY!! | EDD: 10/17/15 | BD: 10/23/15♥
All AL Always Welcome
After our LO is born, I will primarily be a SAHM. I coach part time and will still probably continue that. I'm also going to keep my friend's LO when she works.
^ Yeah that. I know you probably didn't intend for that to sound bad, but it makes me
TTC since 6/2003. m/c 9/14/03 8 weeks, 5 chemical pregnancies, mmc 6/04 12 weeks, Michael born sleeping 5/25/05 at 22weeks always our angel, fought ovarian cancer and won, m/c 4/06 5.2 weeks and 7/07 6.6 weeks,Our Miracle baby girl born 4/8/10,mc 12/18/11 at 5.3 weeks, BFP 10/26/12 dating u/s on 11/8/12 showing a strong heartbeat!EDD July 4,2013. RCS on 6/27. Baby boy in NICU for 8 long and scary days before he was able to come home. We are now a happy family of 4
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I will keep working. Luckily, my mom has already offered childcare and I can work from home at least two days per week.The rest of my schedule it pretty flexible (no worrying if I have to leave early, come in late as long as I am getting my work done).
I know feelings change and this will be my first child, but I have always enjoyed my work and the feeling of accomplishment. I put a lot of work in getting my master's and arriving at this point in my career and I don't think I can give that all up...just being honest here. I have nothing against SAHMs and respect the decision because I think it's tough.
I do think people on either side of this decision need to do what's right for them and not let others make them feel guilty. I've already had comments made to me (even before I was pregnant) about how I should give up my career because people perceive it as being all I care about. And some women are like that, yes. But on the flipside I've also seen women quit a few years in or never enter the workforce and it makes it really, really hard when they try to go back to work when the kids are older. I've also seen women become resentful of what they gave up or guilty that they didn't. It's all about finding that balance.
Because you're happy working? In my situation I've worked hard to get to where I am in my career, as hard as my husband has, and I wouldn't personaly feel as satisfied with a weekend gig. It's about more then just getting out of the house, it's about accomplishments I've made and want to continue making.
I would like to but it's not feasible. I am the breadwinner. DH is in school right now and probably won't make as much as me when he does start working.
However, it will not always be this way. Once the tables are turned and he makes more I will stay home with my children.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
Yeah because I don't still make all of the decisions when it comes to raising my daughter. It was pretty offensive.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
This didn't make it better. Just keep shoving your foot farther down that throat of yours.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
You sound like a asshat. Your the prefect model for parenting we should all follow you. Whatevers.
Ideally? I would LOVE to work P/T or from home or do freelance (from home).
But realistically I think I'll have to keep my job. Fortunately for me I have a million sick days that I never use + leave so at least I can take off the first few months.
BFP with #1 (twins!) 11/18/2011 - missed m/c at 8weeks3days; d&c 1/19/2012; myomectomy to remove 18cm+,10cm & 5cm fibroids 4/2012; TTC again 7/2012; BFP #2 (twins) 11/13/2012; missed m/c at 7weeks;
BFP #3: baby girl born 3/5/2014
Balaustine: an anthology about wanting family
Wow, you actually managed to come off as more of an asshat than initially. Obviously it's a good thing you're staying home, since you apparently can't trust yourself to have the brain capacity to hire someone or send your child somewhere that you've researched and discussed your expectations about what care is acceptable. (P.S. Childcare is expensive everywhere)
Your examples just show that you know people who happened to be shitty parents. That can happen if the parent works or doesn't.
No one has criticized others for staying at home, because there's nothing to criticize there. It's a valid decision.
You gave insulting reasons that borderline passive aggressive. If you're too dumb to see that, that's no one else's fault here on the board.
You throw out the first punch. Lots of people have to work for necessity and because they actually like what they do for a living. They still raise their kids to be functioning and contributing adults to society. You just insulted half of the population. There is nothing wrong with working moms.
I would never criticize a SAHM because to me that is an extremely difficult job. It's not my thing personally. I think there needs to be a common respect between a working mom and a SAHM. We all have a tough job and we all raise our kids.
Do you have any other children? B/c in a few years I'd like to see if you will respond the same way. Most mothers want to limit TV, and teach their children ABC's. I do, I work FT and my 2 y/o can count and knows her letters. So b/c I don't stay at home doesn't guarantee that I will have a spoiled child who doesn't listen. My mom worked, and I learned an awesome work ethic from her. I see how hard she worked and then came home to take care of us. So we learned different things from different experiences.
TTC since 6/2003. m/c 9/14/03 8 weeks, 5 chemical pregnancies, mmc 6/04 12 weeks, Michael born sleeping 5/25/05 at 22weeks always our angel, fought ovarian cancer and won, m/c 4/06 5.2 weeks and 7/07 6.6 weeks,Our Miracle baby girl born 4/8/10,mc 12/18/11 at 5.3 weeks, BFP 10/26/12 dating u/s on 11/8/12 showing a strong heartbeat!EDD July 4,2013. RCS on 6/27. Baby boy in NICU for 8 long and scary days before he was able to come home. We are now a happy family of 4
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I will still work, I'm also in school. So it should be a busy couple of years, we plan on having one more after this LO.
Maybe I can help. What makes it offensive isn't that you have a differing opinion. It's that you have implied that staying home with children is the only way you have direct input in raising them to your own standards, whereas working mothers leave it up to others. That simply isn't true. A woman can work outside the home and still have the same dedication and interest in her children as SAHMs. There are bad SAHMs and there are good working moms. It doesn't matter where mom is during the day, it matters that she puts her kids first and makes the best decisions for her family. If that means staying home for you, great. If it means mom goes to the office, that's great too. Saying that other people are raising working moms' kids is as offensive as saying a SAHM does nothing all day.