So I really want another baby

mystrana · November 2012

Can someone slap some sense into me? Does anyone else feel like this? Since basically the day after I gave birth, I've felt like having another baby, which, from the posts I've read, I gather is not a common response to giving birth.

DH and I had discussed and planned (and I get an IUD this Friday in accordance to our plan) - 3 babies, each about 3 years apart from the other and it had made SO MUCH SENSE before I gave birth. Now I am unsure as to WTF my brain is doing.

That's all. Please feel free to laugh at me now.

Holly_1007 · November 2012

not laughing, some women like to "knock em out" really quickly. enjoy the one you have. soon enough he won't just be eating, sleeping, and pooping all the time.

when I was pregnant this time it was really rough (compared to my breeze of a pregnancy with DS1) It took a lot out of me and a lot away from DS1. I don't know how some of the ladies on here have them any closer together than I did! (conceived #2 a few days shy of #1's 2nd birthday)

mystrana · November 2012

holly71087:
not laughing, some women like to "knock em out" really quickly. enjoy the one you have. soon enough he won't just be eating, sleeping, and pooping all the time.
when I was pregnant this time it was really rough (compared to my breeze of a pregnancy with DS1) It took a lot out of me and a lot away from DS1. I don't know how some of the ladies on here have them any closer together than I did! (conceived #2 a few days shy of #1's 2nd birthday)

I have friends with a 3yr old boy who is just an energetic little terror and sometimes I think that scares me from wanting to wait...like I couldn't imagine being pregnant and dealing with that much energy.

cbrookegrow · November 2012

I partly agree! Besides pretty frequent morning sickness and normal pregnancy stuff I had a great pregnancy. I only gained 20lbs and worked out up until my due date. The labor was not what I expected, 32hours, shoulder dischocia, 9lb baby and an episiotomy. Recovery, surprisingly, was so great and he's been a relatively easy baby and I love breastfeeding.

I can't wait for more because I live being a mom but I'm terrified of how differently it could all go next time. I worry about the increased risk of another shoulder dischocia delivery and having a bear of a baby, lol.

But, I've always wanted three relatively close so I want to at least wait and start trying until next December. My original breastfeeding goal was a year, but I want to go longer now and really enjoy Ethan and all his milestones; so I can't decide how I want it to play out.

mcla22011 · November 2012

No crazy, we've already discussed possibly trying again around the time of his first bday. We want kinds relatively close in age. I didn't go on the pill because my body didn't react well to it, so we figure no need to go on just to go back off after a few months. We'll see how the next couple months go and reevaluate in the spring, but that's the plans right now.

jrsmama2010 · November 2012

I was feeling the same thing today which I was laughing at myself bc DS1 is a little butt and has started acting like a baby again. He turned two a week and 2 days before I had Ds2. But my labor was really easy. I was induced and since I wanted an epidural I had to have it at the beginning otherwise I could bleed out since my platelets were dropping. I miss being pg and I miss the newborn part but I really miss sleep and I would like to loose about 50lbs before we if we have baby 3

bdbelladonna · November 2012

I was the same way with my first. I wasn't even out of the birth room and I was like yeah I can and want to do this again.

I think it just depends on the person. For me I wanted mine close and 15 months apart in age was perfect. I'm finding it harder having this one so far in age from the other two but thats just me.

Hyaline · November 2012

I'll be honest--even after our kinda hellish labor, it's not the thought of another delivery or another pregnancy that has me running for the hills. It's the idea of another newborn. I swear, DD is a devil-baby. (I love her, but her colic can take a hike.)

mystrana · November 2012

Hyaline:
I'll be honest--even after our kinda hellish labor, it's not the thought of another delivery or another pregnancy that has me running for the hills. It's the idea of another newborn. I swear, DD is a devil-baby. (I love her, but her colic can take a hike.)

I can't imagine dealing with colic! I get stressed easily when a baby cries and if DS had colic, I suspect I'd be singing a different tune as well.

hmp1 · November 2012

I felt that way last time and this time. I take it to mean I don't feel like my family is complete yet. My boys are 22mo apart and I think it is perfect. I got to enjoy his first year, just him and got pregnany when he was 13mo. DS isn't crazy jealous, still sleeps in a crib making nights easier, and is old enough to help but young enough to feel special to help me. That said, he does go to daycare full time. We will wait 3 years this time so we don't have 3 in daycare at the same time. I am a little sad to wait that long.

mlf625 · November 2012

I'm not laughing at you. I had #1 and #2 17 months apart, and the #3 came 2 1/2 years after #2. I think it was easier to have a baby with a 17 month old at home than to have a baby with older toddlers/preschoolers at home. When I had #2, we had no agenda, nothing to do, the 17 month old was content to sit on the floor and play while I tended to baby. Now, I'll just barely get #3 tired and sleep and have to wake her to get into the car to do preschool pick up/make a play date/etc. It was just easier to juggle the needs of two who were pretty much babies.

Enjoy this baby for awhile, if you've still got the urge a few months from now and your husband is on board, go for it. I love having all my kids close together and just being done now.

PenelopePond · November 2012

I feel the same. I want another one now. I got the Mirena implant last week, so in theory it'll be a little bit before I get pregnant again. DH didn't want to use a back up birth control for the whole three weeks, though, so we waited a week. I wouldn't be upset if something happened.

hunter91011 · November 2012

Were planning to ttc when DS is 6 months. Before he was born we were planning on waiting 18 months, so I definitely get you!

ihearttroy1 · November 2012

I've felt the same way. I was so bummed when my doctor told me I had to wait two years because I had a csection. You're not alone. :

numb3rMel · November 2012

Hyaline:
I'll be honest--even after our kinda hellish labor, it's not the thought of another delivery or another pregnancy that has me running for the hills. It's the idea of another newborn. I swear, DD is a devil-baby. (I love her, but her colic can take a hike.)

see, H is definitely a far cry from an easy baby but we planned to have them close and still do. OP, I'd love to be PG again in six to 12 months. And I can't wait for that time to come! I'm excited!!! (But yea, this newborn colic thing, shoot me)

mrsbhk22 · November 2012

My kids are spaced 2.5 and 3.5 yrs apart. I like it because they were sleeping, talking, potty trained etc before the new one came along. They were also somewhat independent. However, I can see where it would be beneficial to never get out of the "baby" mindset. Little things, like having to restrain a kid while you shower, are easily forgotten. Sometimes it would've nice to chug throuh the baby stages all at once.

AKB090609 · November 2012

Don't feel bad DH and I seriously discussed TTC at 3 days pp. I want another baby and we have decided not to prevent, we will not actively start TTC until DD is 9 months old, but I would be thrilled if it happened sooner. We no our chances aren't great because I am EBF.

jujeevu · November 2012

We definitely want another, but I told DH not until we live closer to family. Being alone everyday with just DD is driving me nuts!

dmfan897 · November 2012

I have 3 kids with my oldest being 4..just turned. I won't lie..it is hard. I think having 3 so close together will be the hardest thing I ever have to do. They all just need me so much. And my DH is awesome ..we truly split parenting duties. I can't imagine doing this without a partner who wasnt 100 percent there for me. It is not a decision to take lightly. That being said, there are perks. I am used to diapers and not sleeping and constantly having to wrangle a young child. I am def in the mindset of babies, and being done I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Also there is zero jealousy and my kids have similar interests and play well together. Truthfully though I might not do it this way if I had the choice to do it over again. I love my kids but most days I feel like I barely have my head above water.

msualum96 · November 2012

We conceived DD literally on DS's 1st birthday! I'm older, so I was pretty much planning #2 while still pregnant w/ #1, and it actually took longer than I'd hoped. Yes, I may be crazy! It's not completely crazy, though...having them close together HAS to get easier after the first year (RIGHT? RIGHT???? That's what I've heard anyway...if it's not true I may end up in a mental institution)

I love being pregnant, and I miss being pregnant, but I in NO WAY want another child!!! Maybe that's what you miss, the pregnancy part. I think if you have a relatively easy pregnancy and L & D, it's normal to want to do it again! The growing bump, the belly kicks & punches...all so special and unique. But remember, the end result is A NEWBORN!!! LOL They're a lot of work!

Bluebird2318 · November 2012

Oh, I definitely don't blame you! No laughing here. I would love to have one more! Unfortunately, DH doesn't (like, ever). He flip-flops on the subject though--from wanting a vasectomy after this one was born, to maybe wanting to TTC when she's between 1 and 2, and back again to wanting a vasectomy when she turns 1, lol. I'm pretty much sure I'm stuck with "one and done" though. I always felt like if I had children at all, I would want at least two. Siblings are important to me, so I'm really sad to think that DD probably won't get that experience.

Anyway, yeah, I know the majority opinion on this board is that thinking about #2 already is crazy talk, but I can definitely understand the desire. I have to keep reminding myself that what I really wanted was to be a mother, and being a mother is something that is true of me whether I have one or two or ten.

Blackrose1918 · November 2012

Not laughing at you dear. I feel the same way. I still don't want them close together though. I told dh after ds was born "I could do that a hundred times". He thinks I'm insane, but pregnancy and birth were both empowering experiences for me so I wouldn't mind repeating them a few times.

Eastie156 · November 2012

mystrana:
Hyaline:
I'll be honest--even after our kinda hellish labor, it's not the thought of another delivery or another pregnancy that has me running for the hills.  It's the idea of another newborn.  I swear, DD is a devil-baby.  (I love her, but her
colic can take a hike.)
I can't
imagine dealing with colic! I get
stressed easily when a baby cries and
if DS had colic, I suspect I'd be singing
a different tune as well.

Yeah, the whole colic thing sucks. If DS didn't have it, I'd probably have a better taste in my mouth about having a 2nd right away.

MrsL0908 · November 2012

I was this way with DS. I new I wanted another one fairly quickly, but that was our plan. We conceived DD when he was 9 months old. This time? I know we aren't done but no way in hell am I ready for 3u3!

mystrana · November 2012

hmpmrj:
I felt that way last time and this time.nbsp;I take it to mean I don't feel like my family is complete yet. My boys are 22mo apart and I think it is perfect. I got to enjoy his first year, just him and got pregnany when he was 13mo. DS isn't crazy jealous, still sleeps in a crib making nights easier, and is old enough to help but young enough to feel special to help me. That said, he does go to daycare full time. We will wait 3 years this time so we don't have 3 in daycare at the same time. I am a little sad to wait that long.

Yes... I always wonder if I know when I feel "done." My husband is very certain on 2, maybe 3, but I had 4 siblings close in age and loved always having someone to play with.

I understand the wait to avoid 3 in daycare but hopefully it will go by fast for you!

mystrana · November 2012

mlf625:
I'm not laughing at you. nbsp;I had 1 and 2 17 months apart, and the 3 came 2 1/2 years after 2. nbsp;I think it was easier to have a baby with a 17 month old at home than to have a baby with older toddlers/preschoolers at home. nbsp;When I had 2, we had no agenda, nothing to do, the 17 month old was content to sit on the floor and play while I tended to baby. nbsp;Now, I'll just barely get 3 tired and sleep and have to wake her to get into the car to do preschool pick up/make a play date/etc. nbsp;It was just easier to juggle the needs of two who were pretty much babies.Enjoy this baby for awhile, if you've still got the urge a few months from now and your husband is on board, go for it. nbsp;I love having all my kids close together and just being done now.nbsp;

Yes, I think there's something to be said for having kids close because each time it's a reset on the infant years but not for the other kids. Thank you for your opinion

mystrana · November 2012

mrsbhk22:
My kids are spaced 2.5 and 3.5 yrs apart. I like it because they were sleeping, talking, potty trained etc before the new one came along. nbsp;They were also somewhat independent. However, I can see where it would be beneficial to never get out of the "baby" mindset. Little things, like having to restrain a kid while you shower, are easily forgotten. Sometimes it would've nice to chug throuh the baby stages all at once.nbsp;

Yes...mh wants to wait precisely for those reasons and they made a lot of sense to me until I had this newborn and realized each baby will mean doing this all over and i'd rather have a few years devoted to sleep deprivation lol

mystrana · November 2012

dmfan897:
I have 3 kids with my oldest being 4..just turned. I won't lie..it is hard. I think having 3 so close together will be the hardest thing I ever have to do. They all just need me so much. And my DH is awesome ..we truly split parenting duties. I can't imagine doing this without a partner who wasnt 100 percent there for me. It is not a decision to take lightly. That being said, there are perks. I am used to diapers and not sleeping and constantly having to wrangle a young child. I am def in the mindset of babies, and being done I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Also there is zero jealousy and my kids have similar interests and play well together. Truthfully though I might not do it this way if I had the choice to do it over again. I love my kids but most days I feel like I barely have my head above water.

That does sound both good and bad. Do you think when they're all older you'll appreciate the "relative" calm? Or is it too hard to tell at this point? Three young ones sounds intense

mystrana · November 2012

PinkLily1234:
If you get pregnant now, they will be in the same grade in school.nbsp; I personally wouldn't want that for my kids, but to each their own. Your baby wouldn't even be walking by the time the next one gets here. Mine are 23 months apart and overall I'm happy with that spacing.nbsp; The mental leaps and independence that happened between 18 and 24 months was HUGE for us.nbsp;nbsp; There is no perfect time though.

That is a sobering point. I wouldn't want two kids in the same grade. Going to college at the same time!

mystrana · November 2012

CaitlinH88:
Oh, I definitely don't blame you! No laughing here. I would love to have one more! Unfortunately, DH doesn't like, ever. He flipflops on the subject thoughfrom wanting a vasectomy after this one was born, to maybe wanting to TTC when she's between 1 and 2, and back again to wanting a vasectomy when she turns 1, lol. I'm pretty much sure I'm stuck with "one and done" though. I always felt like if I had children at all, I would want at least two. Siblings are important to me, so I'm really sad to think that DD probably won't get that experience. : Anyway, yeah, I know the majority opinion on this board is that thinking about 2 already is crazy talk, but I can definitely understand the desire. I have to keep reminding myself that what I really wanted was to be a mother, and being a mother is something that is true of me whether I have one or two or ten.

Yes that is true. A mom is a mom with one or ten or however many. But I do understand the want for a sibling. DH and I agreed that no matter what the spacing, we want at least 2 for the sibling experience. Only children can be fine too though..in my experience they form sibling like bonds with a few close friends.

kjskjs · November 2012

The first month after having DD I didn't want to even think about it but now I think about the second one all the time

I just can't wait to have a first smile again. I plan to wait until DD is at least 2.5 to start trying so they will be about 3 years apart

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