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Adoption
elissaann26
member
Life Books for Foster Kids
elissaann26
member
in Adoption
Artichoke and Zucchini have been with us for 5 months and will be moving back home before the end of the month. The SW asked about their life books, which I haven't begun. 
The boys were in care prior to coming to our house and I know that there was no life book started. Unfortunately, that is about the extent of my knowledge of their other foster homes. I was thinking of making a photo book that consist mainly of pictures with some captions. There is also a concern that the Life Books will not be well received by the parents. So I'm trying to balance my level of effort with the likelihood that they won't be thrown away. And since I am concerned the Lifebook will be a reminder too much of us and therefore be discarded by the parents, we are also giving them a disk of all of the pictures for them to have and use as they please. Here are my questions.
1. Do I cover only the time period that they were at our house? Or do I try to incorporate the little (very, very little) that I know about their past before coming to our house?
2. Do I make a seperate book for both boys? Initially, I thought yes. But then I realized that 98% of the book would be the same. So then I thought about just getting two copies- one for each of them. This also goes back to my level of effort concern since we want a photo book to remember our time with the boys. I'm thinking I might be able to get away with making 1 book and having multiple copies printed (one for each boy and us)
3. Currently, my plan is to document our adventures (birthday parties, camping, trips to the museum, halloween, first day of school/daycare, soccer, reading books, trips, etc.) with pictures and very brief captions. Do you have ideas for other things I could/should include in the book?
I am planning on asking the SW for a bit more guidance as well. But I figured I'd ask you ladies so I could look a bit more prepared when I talk to her! 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Life Books for Foster Kids
I have been putting off and struggling with the idea of life books for my boys, as well. Last week, during the power outage, I finally forced myself to sit down and review the three books I have on lifebooks.
Although they each had good things to offer, I think this one was the most helpful, because it included several complete samples of how to structure a lifebook, right down to what should be included on each page: https://www.amazon.com/Lifebooks-Creating-Treasure-Adopted-Updated/dp/0970183208/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1352496945&sr=8-1&keywords=lifebooks. It also included suggestions on how to word things, what do do when you have very few details, and the best format for kids of different ages and how they may use them.
I will most likely borrow the format and some of the wording directly from this book when I start writing the boys', but then add the pages into the binder "adoption memory"/lifebook I already bought for them, which is more like a baby book, but with pages more specifically detailed to adoption. The author of the above book makes the case that a lifebook should read like a story detailing the child's life, but I think pages that have fill-in-the blanks about things like finalization day and the day you first met have a place in them, too.
I bought the international version of this: https://www.amazon.com/This-Me-Memories-Gather-Keep/dp/1930218001, with the Peru insert. I'm not sure, but I think they have a foster version, too. If you don't have time to write the story from scratch, maybe getting something like this and filling in what you know would be a start.
Good luck! I know this is one of the most emotional things we do for our kids with difficult pasts.