Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Maybe a Preemie Mom
I am sorry you are going through this and hope that you can keep your baby inside a little longer. Every day makes a difference, even every shift is a victory.
I have been exactly where you are right now. After 2.5 weeks on Hospital bedrest I suddenly was 3-4cm and 100% effaced at 24.5 weeks. I did not end up having an amnio so I cant give you any advice there. I did last 4 extra days at 3-4 cm (on magnesium and the strictest of strict bedrest) and made it to 25w 0days.
My 25 weeker is doing really well a year later. She spent 124 days in the nicu, but came home on no meds and no oxygen. She was able to breastfeed. She took to it really well right away when we started around 37 weeks. I never exclusively breastfed her (she had fortified BM bottles and now formula bottles) but I do continue to breastfeed her at 12.5 months.
I would suggest trying to have a consult with a neonatologist very soon. They can give you an idea of what to expect at delivery, in the first few days, statistics for your particular hospital, etc.
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I had spontaneous PTL with DD at 23 weeks, 6 days. It's still unexplained. Unfortunately sometimes that happens. It takes a while, but try not to focus on why it happened. You've done nothing wrong.
DD came home two days before due date on oxygen, which she went off almost 2 months later. Now 5 years later, she's fine. She has a touch of asthma, but as I have it too, that may not be due to the preemie status.
I may have been able to BF, but I suffer from low supply even with my full term baby. If you want to BF, I'd suggest asking to talk to a lactation constultant and getting a hospital pump the day the baby's born.
NICU stays are a roller coaster ride, and for me, the worst part was that there are no answers. No reasons why, no one can tell what's going to happen next. It's very difficult to prepare yourself for what could happen, so my best advice is to take one day at a time.
For us, focusing on the mundane was sometimes the only thing that helped us get through.
I cannot offer advice on a 25 weeker (my son was born at 32 weeks), but he did have steroid shots the week before he was born, and it helped tremendously - he did not need any breathing assistance while in the NICU, so I am sure that will help down the road!
I was put in the hospital the week before he was born for monitoring (I did not have PTL, I had placental issues which caused DS to have IUGR) and was told to prepare myself to be on bed rest until he was born, which could be days or weeks (it turned out to be 6 days, but I was sent home inbetween). I know how scary it is to be told your baby could be born early, and soon, especially not knowing what to expect. I know NICU doctors can be busy but I hope they come talk to you soon...the doctors came and talked to us during my stay to prepare us, and it helped a little by at least painting us a picture of everything they would do, what he would look like, and what to expect going forward.
I hope and pray they are able to keep your LO in for a bit longer! Every day helps!
So sorry to hear this. I just had quads in March at 25 weeks. They are doing really well considering their start!
Your first month is going to be the hardest. Your baby will most likely struggle with breathing and have to have his oxygen constantly messed with. Somedays he might come off the ventilator and then have to be put back on. When you ask your Dr how your baby is doing they will tell you "he is behaving like a 25 weeker". I don't think we were told our babies were doing good for about a month. It may be a few weeks till your able to hold him. Cherish those times that you are able to hold him close to your chest. Pretty soon he will be wiggling around at home when ever you try and hold him.
The first week they will be checking for brain bleeds. Two of my babies had a grade 1 and a grade 3. If they have a brain bleed they will check every week to see what it is doing. They will also check for a PDA. If your baby has a PDA they will try and give him medicine to close the defect in the heart. If the defect does not close they will do surgery to close it. Our NICU did the surgery right at the bedside. Out of four babies we had three that had the surgery. Your baby will probably have to get a few blood transfusions the first couple of weeks since they do a lot of blood tests. The first week your baby will not get any milk. He will get a special blend of the nutrients he needs that goes directly into his blood.
When your baby is around 32/33 weeks they may try breastfeeding if he is rooting around. An eye Dr will be checking his eyes every other week to watch for ROP. One of my babies had to have laser eye surgery to prevent ROP. The Drs round twice a day so be sure to find out when they will be coming around and try to be there so you can ask them questions. Your nurses will be a great source of information. Don't be afraid to ask to be shown how to help out. We were changing diapers the day the babies were born. Eventually I was putting in feeding tubes, giving medicine, and flipping the babies around if I was there. I also highly recommend keeping a journal so when you have a bad day you can look back a few days and read his accomplishments.
My babies were in the NICU for 120-137 days. They were due June 20th and came home starting July 11. The babies weighed between 1lb5oz and 1lb15oz.
PM me if you ever have any questions about 26 weeks!
I just wanted to add - don't feel defeated and don't allow yourself to dwell on the worst case scenario stuff. Especially after you talk to the neonatologist - their job is to tell you all of the doom and gloom stuff that can happen. It doesn't mean it WILL happen, it just means it could. Stay positive - these babies are fighters and most of them end up doing better than expected.
My DS was 1 pound 3 oz at 28 weeks due to IUGR caused by placental insufficiency. We were given a pretty grim prognosis when I was first admitted, and none of it ended up being true in the end. As I type this, he's sitting in the swing right now snoozing away, happy and healthy.
The NICU is no joke, but you will get through it. Good luck!