How to tell Grandma she isn't going to be babysitting

amy715 · November 2012

I went to visit my grandmother the other day and was shocked to find out that she is under the impression that she is going to be taking care of my baby once I return to work after my maternity leave. I love my grandmother, but she is 86, hard of hearing and has arthritis in her hands. I don't know how easy it would be for her to care for a newborn. My mother and I had already decided that my mother would watch the baby when I go back to work. I don't want to hurt my grandmother's feelings, but I don't think this is a good option. Since this will be her first great-grandchild, of course I want to her to be able to spend plenty of time with him or her, just not as their caregiver for 8-10 hours out of the day. Anyone have any advice on how to break this news to her gently?

ChicagoBroad26 · November 2012

Is there any way that your mom can take the baby to your grandmother's house once or twice a week so she feels as though she's involved? That's really sweet that she wants to help out.

babyonthebrain2010 · November 2012

I'd be nice, but relativity blunt and just say you appreciate her offer but don't want to overwhelm her with daily newborn care. Let her know your mom was already planning to watch LO, she can't argue with that. Maybe your mom can bring LO to your grandma's house once a week or so to visit?

amy715 · November 2012

She actually lives down the street from my mom, so that's a great idea. My mom and grandma go for a walk every morning too and my mom has been talking about taking the baby with them on their walks.

JSS1002 · November 2012

Any way your mom can handle this one for you? Moms are good at that. :-)

jrjl450 · November 2012

ChicagoBroad26:
Is there any way that your mom can take the baby to your grandmother's house once or twice a week so she feels as though she's involved? That's really sweet that she wants to help out.

This!

mgarza1231 · November 2012

JSS1002:
Any way your mom can handle this one for you? Moms are good at that. :-)

This is probably what I would try to do.

RNfromMN · November 2012

My grandmother was almost the exact same age as yours when my first was born with the EXACT same problems arthritis bad back. She never really wanted to watch Tate, but my mother was under the impression that it'd be fine to do if the opportunity ever presented itself. Just make sure your mom knows that you're not comfortable with grandma watching your LO alone for long periods. I remember watching my grandmother hold Tate when she was still pretty young realizing that she wouldn't even be able to burp her if she had to. And this is the nurse in me talking ;, no matter how independent your grandma is, elderly are prone to falls. That's our 1 concern with my grandmother what if she took a tumble while our daughter was in her care, KWIM?