male ob-gyn?

oohlalachelsea · November 2012

i just found out yesterday morning that my fiance and i are pregnant with our first baby. we're due approx july 13th, 2013. i've been trying to find an ob-gyn and preferably a female one. i don't think i would feel comfortable talking about sex and having a man (other than my fiance, obviously lol) look 'down there,' professionally or not. does anyone else feel like this? has anyone felt like this but had a male ob-gyn and it ended up not bothering you anymore? thanks!

KdgTeacher · November 2012

I was very much the same way. In fact I go to an all female OB/GYN practice and shuddered at the thought of having a male...until I had trouble getting pregnant and found myself with a male RE. After being with him for a 1.5 year, I quickly realized it isn't a big deal. It is their job and that's it.

I have several friends who only go to males because they say they are gentler/more understanding. ::shrugs:: To each their own.

meltoine · November 2012

I see a midwife for well-woman and pregnancy care for this reason. For normal things, I like a female care provider.

If I have some sortr of complication that needs treatment, a doctor is a doctor. I would still prefer a female, but I wouldn't turn down a male doctor if he were my only or best option.

RunningGal900 · November 2012

I prefer a female for my general case because I feel like she can better relate to me. However, I have seen her male partners when she's been gone and I'm totally fine with it. When you give birth in a hospital, a lot of different people may come in and check on you and some may be male. I'm sure you can request females only, but by you reach that point, you just may not care.

BlueKoi · November 2012

I had a male gyn (who was also my family practice doc) when I was in college. Now that was an awkward time to have an old guy poking around down there, but even though I felt embarrassed some of the time, he was always very professional and polite. Plus I have found that male docs dealing with female anatomy tend to be more gentle because they are afraid to hurt you. That said, I have done all I can to have women gyns since just because I am much more relaxed around them. My OB is male, but I'm going to the midwife in his practice - so I will not be working with him nearly as much unless I develop complications. I can deal with that.

JellyTwoPointO · November 2012

My mother always preferred male OBGYNs because, as KdgTeacher said, she felt they were more gentle and even sympathetic. I'd always preferred a female for myself, but a male OB handled my m/c and was very emotionally kind to me in that time. I'm going to at least start out with him for this pregnancy, but my dream has always been a home birth... so if I'm doing well and not high risk, I may transfer to a midwife. But till I know I'll be ok, I'm sticking with this particular OB.

RunningGal900 · November 2012

Stardust225:
I sort of felt this way. DH went with me to my appointments, he was excited. He said that my doctor looked to see if he had the right hole, then stared at the ceiling like the rest of us, and it made me feel a lot better. You won't really talk much about sex at your appointments, just mostly nutrition and how you're feeling, how the baby is.

I will honestly say now, after having cervical checks from a male and females, I do appreciate the extra inch a man hand can have. The checks I had from female doctors were PAINFUL!! When I said something, they were also more prone to brush it off.

I have to find a new doctor this time, and I will be finding a male doctor.

It's funny you say that about the hands. I love my OBs teeny tiny hands (she's only about 4'11", so she has small hands). When I saw one of her partners (at 6'5" male), I thought his hands hurt way more!

just13nat · November 2012

I have always had male OB's and I prefer them. I've only had one woman perform an exam for IUD, and she was very rough and rude.

bugandbibs · November 2012

I've had both and don't really have a preference, but I'm a nurse so medical stuff doesn't embarrass me. One thing I found with DD2, is that MH really liked having a male to talk to and get advice from.

luvmyducks · November 2012

You don't really talk about sex much if you are already pg.

But I did feel somewhat similar to you but after I fired my last OB who was female bc of the way I was treated during and after my loss, I just wanted to find an OB that was good with dealing with tough pgs and losses. The OB recommended to me by a few woman was a man. He delivered my daughter and I really like him and am seeing him again this time. He didn't check me at all until my GBS swab at 36w and then didn't check me again until 38w and 39w and then of course when I was in labor. I did think it was going to be weird the first time but it was super quick and I didn't end up bothering me at all. And in labor I really didn't care who saw me down there

Happily Overwhelmed · November 2012

When I got pregnant with DS DH requested I NOT have a male OB. I found an all women providers office (thankfully I love). I know there's lots of awesome male doctors....but am kinda weirded out by why they would want to choose that specialty. Most of my friends have male OBs and say they are extremely gentle and compassionate.

In all I think it's normal for some people to feel this way. I don't think there's any shame in looking for a female provider.

manateemom · November 2012

just13nat:
I have always had male OB's and I prefer them.

Oh good, for a moment I thought I was the only one

KikiCohen · November 2012

My OB practice happens to be all female. It's not why I chose it. It just happens to be the one closest to our house. I wouldn't mind a male though. It's their job, so hopefully they are going to be 100% professional and give you nothing to worry about.

queenbone · November 2012

I used to swear I would only see a woman OBGYN who was truly familiar with the parts. Then when I had trouble ttc#1 I was referred to a male OB who specialized in IF. Over the last 7 yrs I have had my feet in the stirrups for so many people, including eventually being referred to a male RE, that I frankly have no more modesty regarding my downstairs.

Did my female OB have a better bedside manner than my male one? Yes, but in the end that was no longer important to me. Find someone you trust female or male.

schnugglebug · November 2012

I had a male OBGYN with my son 13 years ago

and I finally found a doctor out here.. and he is a male as well.. it doesn't bother me so much.. as long as he is competent lol

When it gets to the point you are pushing you really don't care much expect getting that baby out... I had nurses, doctors random people in my room LOL was weird but I was focused on giving birth not who was watching lol

luckylindy · November 2012

I'm at the mercy of the military system so I don't get the opportunity to be picky about male/female OBs. I do prefer females just because they tend to be more gentle and have smaller hands, but it really doesn't bother. Plus, once you have a kid and everyone in the world has seen everything and has had a hand in there, you really don't care anymore.

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