Community› The Bump Message Boards› Pregnant after a Loss
Pregnant after a Loss
New Discussion

WWPgAL Do?

weaslewamweaslewam member
in Pregnant after a Loss

This morning I have this conversation with my husband:

Me: November 2nd is the anniversary of me getting my ears pierced when I was a kid!

DH: How do you remember that day?

Me: I begged my mom for weeks and weeks to get my ears pierced. I was so jealous of the other girls in my grade with their ears pierced.

DH: Do you think that you're a jealous person?

Me: Ummm why do you ask?

DH: Because you were so jealous of all the other pregnant women around you until you got pregnant again.

--- I was FURIOUS about this but in such a state of shock I didn't scream or anything even though I wanted to. I explained to him that it wasn't just jealousy I felt but a sense of unfairness. The fact that he said that really proved that men are different than women, at least in my case, regarding loss.

What would PgAL do? DH has apologized since then but I kinda feel like I deserve flowers or something for such a douchey statement. 

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
BFP 1 - March 26, 2012, MMC discovered May 21, 2012
BFP 2 - October 30, 2012, Rainbow Baby Boy born July 14, 2013
TTC no sooner than November 2014
Report Reply to Post

Re: WWPgAL Do?

  • Mrs.DeliaMariePMrs.DeliaMarieP member
    Yea, that was a bit unnecessary, especially since those two things don't even begin to compare to one another.  He apologized, so I would forgive him.  We don't do or expect anything else for those kinds of mistakes.  We're human, a meaninful apology is all that we need.

    BFP 12/19/08- DS born 8/25/09 9lbs2oz via Zavanelli Maneuver
    BFP 8/26/11- Missed miscarriage discovered 10/19/11 at 11w2d, measured at 9 weeks gestation w/ no HB. D&C 10/21/11
    BFP 3/17/12 at 12dpo CP 3/21/12
    BFP 4/23/12 at 10dpo Stick my little one! Beta #1: 83.3 @ 13dpo Beta #2: 197.7 @ 15dpo
    Our little man is getting bigger every day!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    My BFP Chart
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • sammer818sammer818 member
    As much as that is a not-cool comment, I agree with PP. Guys just don't get it.  I think as long as he apologized, you should just let it go and chalk it up to one of those differences between men and women.

    TTC since April 2010
    BFP #1 – March 2011, missed m/c April 2011
    BFP #2 – October 2011, m/c November 2011
    Surprise BFP #3 – December 2011, diagnosed as cornual, terminated January 2012
    BFP #4 – June 2012, m/c July 2012
    Diagnosed with bicornuate ute and MTHR gene mutation
    BFP #5 – October 2012, missed m/c November 2012
    BFP #6 – January 2013, m/c March 2013
    No longer TTC. Diagnosis: Hostile ute. Heartbroken and bitter. Pursuing surrogacy.
    June 2013 - Carrier found! Could this really happen?!
    image
    ~All AL always welcome~

    Report Reply
  • weaslewamweaslewam member
    I know he was just being ignorant. It's just still bothering me this morning. I guess I just need to learn to let things go easier.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    BFP 1 - March 26, 2012, MMC discovered May 21, 2012
    BFP 2 - October 30, 2012, Rainbow Baby Boy born July 14, 2013
    TTC no sooner than November 2014
    Report Reply
  • Junebug060609Junebug060609 member
    Explain why it was hurtful and let it go.

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14

     

    Lilypie - (2llN)

    Lilypie - (2L9u)

     

      My Recipe Blog
    ~All AL'ers welcome~

    Report Reply
  • JellyTwoPointOJellyTwoPointO member
    That is HARSH and I'd probably either flip out or bawl my eyes out. My husband has said similar statements to me. But then again, just two weeks ago, he was crying and grieving our loss and saying how he hates to be asked if he has kids. I think most not all but most men lack TRUE empathy for the depth of the emotions we go through. He apologized and I personally wouldn't drag it out for now, but if it ever happens again, I'd try to have a calm but real hearttoheart on where you're coming from.
    image

    TTC since Aug 2011. BFP #1 on 10/28/2011 EDD of 07/02/2012 Natural MC on 11/22/2012  BFP #2 on 10/28/2012  EDD of 7/13/13  Judah Ari born on 7/11/13.

    I love my rainbow baby!


    Report Reply
  • krwactkrwact member

    imageBumgellica216:
    That was harsh and insensitive of him, but like PP said I think a lot of men just don't get it. Many don't share the same feelings we have about our loss(es) and hence make stupid and douchey comments. If my SO said something like that I would be really hurt and angry but once I received an apology I would just let it go. I try to live by the motto of "pick your battles" and try not to make everything a big argument or let everything linger. Sorry you had to hear that from him.

    This, word for word.  DH never understood the depths of my sadness or why I couldn't move past.  I still don't share anything but a tiny percentage of the anxiety and dread I feel with this pregnancy.  That's why I'm so grateful to have a group like this so that we can all vent and share.  Vent as often as you need to! 

    Kim 

    imageImage and video hosting by TinyPic image
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"