My inlaws and I don't see eye to eye...
On quite a few occasions I have been hurt by my in-laws, mostly my MIL... I could go on and on about it, but lets just say even going to speak to someone about it didn't even work... We see them probably once a month, and as hard as it is to look at people who have hurt me so badly, I do my best for my husband...
Long story short, I cannot trust them, not at all. We just finished telling my parents that we're pregnant and I'm not going to tell my husband he has to wait until we're past the 1st trimester (that seems unfair), but I'm scared that, no matter how much we tell them not to, they're going to pass it around... I was a victim of a bad crime and was left hurt and embarassed... I thought due to the circumstances, they wouldn't tell people what happened... well, they told everyone... I'm affraid that is going to happen again...
What do I do when I can't trust my future children's grandparents?!
Re: MIL advice...
Your in-laws sound a lot like mine. In our case, we just didn't tell them until later in the pregnancy and accepted the fact that they weren't going to listen to us.It really sucks and it's tough knowing I can't trust them, but, at least in our case, we are use to it.
So sorry this is happening.
BFP #1 5/07/11, DS 01/19/12
BFP #2 08/09/12, M/C 08/10/12
BFP #3 10/30/12, EDD 07/11/12...please stick!
That is true!... the last couple years have been very, very hard... I have gone out of my way, even sought help for how to deal with it all, and nothing works... they'll never change... I just hope knowing how big and important this news is to us, that they'll respect our wishes... BUT, then again, important personal information didn't matter to them before...
Maybe I need to speak with my husband again and go from there...
I totally agree. Same idea I'm planning to use at work with my boss.
I don't think it's unfair at all to not tell them when your parents already know. It was completely unfair of them to share with everyone whatever horrible thing happened to you. IMO, that negates any right they have to any of your personal information.
My Ovulation Chart
TTC #1 Since July 2012-BFP Sept 27, EDD June 9, 2013, Arrived June 14, 2013
My blog-The Wino That I Know
What she said!
My MIL's father passed away, so we told her about the BFP at 4 weeks - a day after I took the test! - to cheer her up. We asked her not to tell anyone because we hadn't even told my parents yet.
Well, at the funeral, everyone came up and started touching my hips which I thought was really weird. Then finally a third cousin came out and said "Congratulations on your pregnancy!!" I was so upset and embarrassed, because I haven't even been to the doctor or called my mom! She also lied and said she only told a friend who must have spread it, but the rest of the cousins said they heard it directly from her. I think sometimes people just get caught up in the excitement and don't realize who they can hurt...
I still want to say something to her because it really betrayed my trust, but I'm not sure it's worth the confrontation...
I cann't thank you all enough for the advice, I truly appreciate it!
Sadly, my husband is an only child... I think even if I do sit him down and tell him how difficult it would be for me to tell them so early, he would still want to tell them. I was so, so hurt by them in the past, and technically still in the present, and this just goes above everything else that has happened as more important. They have friends that bad mouth me, and it wouldn't surprise me if they do it as well, but I'm trying to not think that way...
I will sit my husband down and explain how hard it is for me to want to tell them when I know they won't be able to keep it quiet and how stressed I will be afterwards thinking about it... I don't need that happening, especially so early...
Thanks to you all!!