Decisions, decisions

Re: Decisions, decisions

• twoitalians member

  October 2012

  I'm kinda like you. Before DS I wanted to go back to work. When he was a month old I wanted to be a SAHM. Then I got a great job offer at a university and basically would only have to work 9 months out of the year. Now I'm going back to work next week. I really think I would go crazy if I was SAHM thinking about it now cuz I have no clue sometimes what day of the week it is. I'm always happier with a schedule.

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• mben1119 member

  October 2012

  It is a hard choice. But, now that it has been 9 months since DS started day care, I can categorically state it was the best decision I ever made. Beyond the money issue, DS is around other kids, amazing caregivers, and is learning so much. And, honestly, I love working. It isn't even that my job is great. I get adult time, great conversation, and my 30 minute commute each day is MY TIME. I jam out and relax. You can always go back to work, and if it doesn't work out, cut down to part time or quit.

  

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• shortysgrrl01 member

  October 2012

  I went back to work after 6 weeks at home with my DD. I love her to death but I was stir crazy. I came to terms that I was NOT SAHM material. After talking to a few of my friends they said they are the same way. It's ok to want to go back to work. My MIL told me that she thinks that it makes you value your time with your LO that much more and she's right. I don't feel so tied down all the time, my DH works night work so it's me doing most of the work 24/7. I think if I would SAH it would make me resent my husband even though he's doing nothing wrong and I knew it would be me all the time before I got pregnant. There's nothing wrong with wanting to work!

  

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• rnbeth477 member

  October 2012

  There is nothing to be ashamed of if you can't stay home. It's not for everyone.
  
  Before DS was born, I worked full time in a nursing leadership position at the hospital. After he was born I decided to go back to the nursing bedside and work per diem. That means I don't have a set schedule. I just work when others are on vacation, sick, etc. This provided me with the opportunity to stay home most of the time, but also get out to exercise my brain a few days a month.
  
  The transition from fulltime to perdiem was tough for me. I felt my identity was wrapped up in my job, but over the past two years I've grown into being a mostly stay at home mom. I attend a mom group, and have play dates with other moms and kids in my neighborhood. My DS takes toddler gymnastics classes. Plus, I'm involved in various other community boards. I would not be able to do any of these things had I continued to work full time.

  

  

  
  

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• rpt06 member

  October 2012

  Maybe go back part time, then you'll get the best of both worlds.  You'll have time away from home, extra money and you'll still have lots of time with your LO.

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• katieh1017 member

  October 2012

  chaakita:

  So I need to decide if I am going to go back to work or be a SAHM. Before my DD was born there was no question I was staying home no one else was going to raise my baby. My DH said you'll never be able to do you'll go stir crazy....well turns out he's sort of right. My DH travels a lot example he's been gone since Friday comes back late tomorrow then leaves Saturday and won't be back until next Saturday. It makes for a long week when it's just DD and I. Also ive always been so independent and pay my bills well in advance with the one income we cant do that. Don't get me wrong I love her to death. But I think if I go back to work it will break up those weeks he's gone plus we could start to do some remodeling sooner rather than later and we could spoil her that much more :-). And she'll get to interact with other babies. But if I do go back I think/know I will feel awful. I told my husband I feel selfish if I go back I know most ladies would do anything to be a SAHM. I just don't know I don't want to regret any decisions. This has been bugging me since I was about 8 months pregnant.....Thanks for letting me vent 

  Both DH and I work full time, L goes to a DC that we both love and trust. But they are not raising her. That's a pretty annoying comment to make to working moms.

  I wouldn't "do anything" to stay at home and I am really not sure if most ladies would apply here. I work with lots of ladies with children so maybe that's my demographic to base on. It's not for everyone. I enjoy my career and I enjoy the lifestyle we lead on 2 incomes. I also don't feel guilty for wanting to go back to work.

  The working moms board is a great resource. In the end you do what's best for you and your family. Only you can make that decision.

  

  Lillian April 17, 2012

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• brandyleighxx member

  October 2012

  I wanted to be a SAHM but knew our finances would not allow. I dreaded going back to work and teared up thinking about it. Once I found a daycare that I loved, it made me feel much more at ease. When the time came, I took him to daycare and they were so inviting (even had a welcome sign with his name on the front door) and he smiled so big at his teacher, I knew it was going to be a good thing. It allows me to get out of the house 3 days a week, feel productive, bring in some income, and gives him a schedule/structure and socialization. I will say this, though, be prepare for a sick baby. LO developed a cough 1st week of daycare and a fever that landed him in the ER by the 3rd week.
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• Mrs.RockyM member

  October 2012

  Check out the working mom board. There are a bunch of mommies that would quit to be SAHMs in a heartbeat, but there are just as many if not more who love working and think it makes them a better mom because they maintain a sense of themselves while working and can then devote 110 of their time at home to their families.

  
  
  

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• RachT28 member

  October 2012

  I actually got really good advice from my pediatrician. My DD was born in July and before that the company I worked for announced they were closing the office and moving jobs to St Louis. Fine with me since I knew I was not going to be packing my family and moving away from the Twin Cities. I have been home ever since and while I love spending time with both my kids, I really don't want to stay home full time.

  The advise my pediatrician gave me was this: Work as long as you can because it will be harder to find a new job after the kids have grown up - especially if you're in a good career (ie teacher, engineering, computer science, etc). You will find a way to make time for family. On the other hand, if you chose to stay home you develop a routine and it's harder to go out and do things together as a family. My pediatrician gave me this advise because she has SAHM friends that are finding it difficult to get back into the work force after taking time off work to raise children. This isn't the only reason why I'm looking for a new job, but it's a very encouraging reason.

  Good Luck!
  

  

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