February 2012 Moms

Any bedsharing moms sleep train?

So we've been bedsharing because of dd's horrendous sleeping, it was the only way I got any sleep. we tried sleep training at 4.5 months and it didn't work. We did it for a week straight.
Now she's crawling and moving around I'm scared she's going to get up without me.
I've read two sleep books and they don't really adress the adjustment from bedsharing to them sleeping on their own. I tried the sleepeasy solution and a book by Jodie Mindel similar to
Ferber. I need some suggestions. This girl has stamina. Last time she cried for over an hour 7 nights straight and it didn't help at all.
I'm in desperate need of help, my job and marriage are suffering.
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Re: Any bedsharing moms sleep train?

  • Will she sleep on her own for naps or sleep in the carseat? We started with naps in the crib although it's still a work in progress. She still sleeps with us at night. BUT we get at least an hour in the beginning to ourselves...


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  • We went through the same with DD, and I am expecting it from DS at any minute since he is now mobile (and bedsharing).  I did eventually get DD into her crib, but it was a loooong process and required a lot of patience.  She was also a CIO failure, and I know that most people on this site don't believe that and think I just didn't do it right, but whatever.  She is extremely persistent and it just did not work for her.

    In a nutshell, I just started out by putting her down for the night in the crib and then taking her to bed with me after her first waking.  Sometimes this was 30 minutes later, but I just did it.  Once I felt she was used to this routine I started gradually extending the time, so if she woke before 10 pm I'd rock and nurse and put her back in the crib...then I extended this to midnight, etc., until she was in there the whole night.  It took several weeks, to be honest, but we did get there.

    In the meantime, a couple of things that can help the crawling situation:

    1.  Sleep sack:  I am not sure if it was because it just kept her warmer and sleepier or if it actually restricted her movement much, but it seemed to slow down the moving around somewhat.

    2.  Floor bed:  I didn't do this every night, but did sometimes.  Put a mattress or pallet on the floor in her room, babyproof thoroughly, and lay down with her and then sneak away when she's asleep.

    Sorry you're dealing with this!  It is brutal.  Hope you get some sleep soon.

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  • Kitty will not sleep train. She'll hold out forever. She sleeps in the middle now that she's moving around. She can't crawl over either one of us without us waking up.I tried my damnedest to get her to sleep on her own after she woke up and crawled off the bed a few months ago, but it didn't work, so now she's in the middle.
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  • imageaglenn:

    2.  Floor bed:  I didn't do this every night, but did sometimes.  Put a mattress or pallet on the floor in her room, babyproof thoroughly, and lay down with her and then sneak away when she's asleep.

    I wonder about this.  I was just at DD's daycare to nurse her at lunch and there is one little girl in her class that is 13 months old and has started using a cot on the floor instead of a crib to prepare her to transition to the next class.  Usually when I go in she is napping.  Today, she was awake and sitting on her little cot just grinning at me.

    I asked the teacher if she ever starts crawling around when she wakes up and she said no, that she knows to stay on the cot when it's nap time.  I was totally surprised.  She wasn't pulling any toys off the shelves or trying to go anywhere she was content to just sit on her cot during nap time.

    I wondered if this would work at bedtime too.  I also want to ask the teacher if most of the kids behave this way or if she is the exception.

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  • You might try again. My daughter wasn't ready when we first tried, but when we did it again at around 6-7 months it was heaps better. We co-sleep too. We now have her sleep the first half of the night in her crib and then later she joins us (I am to sleepy to really get up and so I feed her in bed). We did Ferber, but I made the trips in to her room more frequent and I soothed a lot longer than they recommend in the book.
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  • I bedshare. I've let DS CIO only a couple of times. I was never consistent with it, which makes me feel bad for leaving him crying for no apparent reason... and we never got anywhere with it. He wakes up very frequently through out the night so sleep training would mean NO sleep whatsoever for us for however long it takes and it's not worth it for me.
    When I would make attempts to get him in the crib, I found myself getting really depressed and it raised my anxiety/stress levels way more than I could handle. I was really unhappy. It never worked, and I often got frustrated at myself and everything. In the end, I decided it wasn't worth the stress.
    How often does your DD wake up at night? Does she wake up to take a bottle/nurse? Is she hungry? If she wakes up a lot to eat, you can try reducing the night feedings by offering a different kind of comforting method like rocking or patting but I understand that might make you even more sleep deprived, which is why I just nurse back to sleep in order to get some rest...
    My babe hated his crib, so I took his mattress out of the crib, and put it on the floor. Since then he has been sleeping in his own room at the beginning of the night, and it's been great for my marriage. Now we have the bed to ourselves. It gives us time to cuddle and laugh and not worry about being quiet, and I really feelnbsp;like it's brought us closer together again.
    I bring LO to bed with me when I go to bed. I keep him in between me and DH so he doesn't roll off the bed which has happened before when he was on the outside of the bed, please learn from my mistake and don't put him on the outside. He doesn't wake up to crawl around at night, he just wakes up to nurse and go right back to sleep so he isn't going to crawl over me and I would wake up if he was moving a lot or crawling around.
    Very soon I am going to stop bringing him to bed with me to see if he will STTN on his own in his own bed, with out waking up for nursing....
    If your daughter hates the crib like my son, I recommend the floor bed in her own room. That was the best start for us.
    I also need to add, I promise your babe will be more indepenedent soon. She won't always be this dependent. I've done lots of research and it's very normal for a baby this age to wake up frequently through the night and require comforting.
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