gift to those planning your shower?

eponine7682 · October 2012

Hi all. So my first shower is coming up a week from this Sunday and I started to think of whether thank you gifts are customary. My mom is planning it (my other one will be planned by my MIL and grandMIL in Nov.).

Normally, I wouldn't think of giving thank you gifts to the grandma's-to-be because they are so darn excited anyways and want us to spend our money on baby and not them. However my first shower planned by my mom is also heavily co-planned by 3 of my good girlfriends. One of which is just out of grad school but she really wanted to be involved. Since they are not family I feel even more compelled to show them how appreciative I am that they volunteered to help with this huge event that means so much. Any of you heard of giving thank you gifts (not just a card) to your shower planners? If so, what do you think would be appropriate?

ETA: One of the girls is also going to be LOs Godmother.

Neener73 · October 2012

I gave Culver's gift cards to the three ladies from my church who co-hosted a shower for me.

lulamagoo · October 2012

Yes, you should give a thank you gift or card to EVERY hostess.

eponine7682 · October 2012

lulamagoo:
Yes, you should give a thank you gift or card to EVERY hostess.

Well, mothers/grandmother are all going to get grandma frames. Along with the grandfathers. That was just something we were doing anyways but not counting as a thank you gift. I guess I was wondering what specifically people are getting.

lulamagoo · October 2012

eponine7682:
lulamagoo:
Yes, you should give a thank you gift or card to EVERY hostess.

Well, mothers/grandmother are all going to get grandma frames. Along with the grandfathers. That was just something we were doing anyways but not counting as a thank you gift. I guess I was wondering what specifically people are getting.

This is what we are doing:

Shower #1 hosted by 2 friends(local)- We are giving them each a "date night". This includes a gift certificate to their favorite restaurant and us watching their kiddos for the evening. Also writing a thank you card.

Shower #2 hosted by 4 friends of my MIL(out of state) - I am giving each hostess an orchid and thank you card.

If your hosts drink, a nice bottle of wine is always a good gift.

Hope that helps!

Mrkyrain · October 2012

For my family shower, hosted by my mom and step mom, I just plan to write a heartfelt thank you cards. I may get flamed for this but I feel like family is different. For my friend shower, I have five hosts so I couldn't afford to do anything too over the top. I am writing each of them a personal thank you and I bought each a jewelry dish with their initials. I found them on Etsy and thought they were super cute.

eponine7682 · October 2012

Mrkyrain:
For my family shower, hosted by my mom and step mom, I just plan to write a heartfelt thank you cards. I may get flamed for this but I feel like family is different. For my friend shower, I have five hosts so I couldn't afford to do anything too over the top. I am writing each of them a personal thank you and I bought each a jewelry dish with their initials. I found them on Etsy and thought they were super cute.

This is exactly me, no flames here. I do feel family are different but planned on doing the frames anyways for part of an early xmas gift. My MILs don't want anything. We also don't have a lot of money so a date night (while awesome idea!!) would be too much the flower idea is really nice. Either way a heartfelt card is definitely happening.

Thanks for the ideas!

maiatene · October 2012

I technically had 3 hostesses, but I had abt 5 helpers and I got them all a small token of thanks...

for my hostesses: my sister organized everything and I gifted her with new pair of shoes she had been eyeing, my cousin did the games and I gave her a gift bag w some of my fav things (mainly gc and things to lounge around in), and my best friend helped them both and made everyone feel at home so I gifted her with dinner and a spa gc. My mom helped out a lot also and I want to get her something but I havent decided what yet.

My helpers (my friends) all got bottles of wine and I took them out to dinner. My aunt made all of the decorations so I gave her a giftset of spa products. The lady who owned the house I had the shower in was gifted a box of tea and macaroons bc she's fancy like that ;-)

No one expected anything from me but they worked so hard and I loved my shower so much I wanted to do something to recognize their effort. It may seem like a lot to some but I feel they deserved it. Everyone is different so def do what you're comfortable with. I think wine (if they drink) is fine but whatever they choose I would advise to try to personalize it but absolutely make it something they will enjoy

1026pumpkin · October 2012

I think you should make sure each hostess gets a thoughtful thank you card, and I think the grandma frames for grandmas are a wonderful idea. For your friends, I would maybe get a bottle of wine or a pedi gift certificate, or some smaller item you think they'd enjoy.

I know I always say this to these posts, but even though hostess gifts are common on the bump, I don't think they're very common in real life. I did give my shower hostesses a gift, but I've hosted many showers and never received or expected a gift. As you mentioned, I gave the shower as a gift not expecting anything in return, and I'd rather the parents spend their money on the new baby.

jasminelorraine20 · October 2012

My mom and my son's Godmother planned my shower and I presented my mom with a beautiful card and a picture of LO's ultrasound in a 'NANA' frame. She teared up and loved it so much! She still has it sitting on her desk. I love heartfelt gifts for these type of things.

RJM050705 · October 2012

1026pumpkin:
I think you should make sure each hostess gets a thoughtful thank you card, and I think the grandma frames for grandmas are a wonderful idea. For your friends, I would maybe get a bottle of wine or a pedi gift certificate, or some smaller item you think they'd enjoy.
I know I always say this to these posts, but even though hostess gifts are common on the bump, I don't think they're very common in real life. I did give my shower hostesses a gift, but I've hosted many showers and never received or expected a gift. As you mentioned, I gave the shower as a gift not expecting anything in return, and I'd rather the parents spend their money on the new baby.

I agree with all of this! My shower is being planned by 5 ladies (2 SILs, 3 friends) and being held at a another friend's house. So, I decided to make 3 things - peppermint cocoa lip balm, grapefruit epsom salt scrub and an art print of famous couples with their names/wedding date in the middle. I'm probably going to spend about $90-100 on all 6 of them. (Did use some amazon credit so actual OOP cash is more like $50-60.) I am pretty sure that they will all think it's unnecessary, but it's important to me to show my appreciation because I'm only having one shower (guest list is like 35-40?). I know it's a lot of time/energy/expense. And I have enough of lip balm/salt scrub supplies that I should be able to make some other stuff too.

graciesmurf · October 2012

Yes I have heard of them. Generally they are called hostess gifts.

Gift what you can. If that amount is $5 per hostess/planner than buy them their favorite scent in a candle or lotion. If it's more than find a way to make gifts personal to them. If the amount is nothing than write letters or cards expressing how thankful you are.

My shower is being thrown for me by my sister, my best friend, and my mom. I'm getting my sister and best friend gifts that cost around $25. My sister is very excited about becoming an aunt and has already purchased her neice outfits that say, "My Aunt Rocks" and the like. I'm going to get her a shirt, sash, or something that says, "Ruthie's Aunt" (or something similar). I'm getting my best friend a giftcard to either Starbucks (which she loves, but doesn't buy for herself because of the price) or ITunes.

What I'm doing for my mom, however is much more special (IMO). I'm writing her a thank you letter that talks about how great of a mother she is, how much I appreciate everything she did (and still does) for me, and how I want to model myself after her example while raising my daughter. I'm a huge daddy's-girl and my mom and I are not emotionally close. We very rarely had times when we talked about feelings, but she does have that type of relationship with my sister. This letter is something I know that she'll love and keep.

JuliaBug · October 2012

I took nice bouquets of flowers to my shower as a thank you gift for the hostess. The shower was held at her house or I would have had them delivered.

brinaroze1 · October 2012

I can't afford anything super nice, but I still want to give the woman hosting my shower a gift. I was thinking about it for a few weeks when I realized I should just make a gift. I have an Etsy shop and sell crocheted coffee cozies and potholders. I decided to take a few of my handmade items out of the shop to gift to the host and anyone who helps her. I'll also make a nice thank you card to accompany the gift.

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