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what was i thinking???

sididdi1978sididdi1978
in 1st Trimester
Hello everyone...I'm in need of serious advice. I started dating a married/ seperated man and fell in love. I know it was wrong but I couldn't help how I started to feel. He would stay at my house days at a time. Well I'm pregnant and confused. I told him and he's extra excited. I told him when he divorce he can move in with me and he said ok. I told him I needed a time frame as to when he's filing for a divorce and he said by the end of the year...I think he's bullcrapping me and I don't know if I should keep this baby...I don't wanna do this alone...what should I do? Should I wait to see if he's gonna do it or what?
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Re: what was i thinking???

  • nataliekristinnataliekristin
    Can you support the baby on your own? If you can, then I believe you should keep the baby. But definitely talk to your boyfriend. if he intends on divorcing then he should begin the process immediately. And my best advice, go with your gut.
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  • sididdi1978sididdi1978
    Yes I can support the baby on my own. I'm definitely gonna talk to him again...I'm just feeling so stupid for allowing this to happen...but thank for your advice.
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  • skioskio member
    Um. I don't even know where to start. And if this ends up being MUD, I'm going to have wasted some good brain cells here.

    Okay, so, are you saying that you would only keep the baby if he commits to you? If you decide to take his word for it and keep the baby, are you able to support yourself and a child on your own if he jets? Also, where is he living now? Why does his divorce have to be finalized for you two to live together?

    I suggest you ditch the dude unless he makes an honest, real, genuine commitment to you. But he sure doesn't sound like a stand up guy, and if you're already doubting his commitment, I would bet that he's not in it for the long haul.

    I'm not going to lie, I'm conflicted about your comment on whether to keep the baby. I'm pro choice, but I also know I generally couldn't abort except in a few extenuating circumstances, and getting knocked up by someone who won't commit to me is not one of them. But, that's me, and it's your choice. Is there someone you can talk to to help you through this? Relative, friend, therapist? Please do. Good luck with whatever you choose.
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  • sididdi1978sididdi1978
    He's still living with her...he told me he was going to divorce her before I got pregnant. I want him to be divorced before he comes lives with me because
    that was the agragreement between us.
    I believed him then. I really did. No I don't have anyone to talk too and I know I don't have 3 months to wait on him to do what he said he's gonna do.
    I'm praying on it. I really want to keep my baby...I just don't want to do it alone...
    P.s. what do mud stand for?
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  • AEN1029AEN1029 member

    My opinion? Keep the baby. It isn't the baby's fault you're in this situation and I don't mean to sound rude in saying that.

    On another note, I agree with PP to ditch the guy. What makes you so special that he won't cheat on you, too? I never understood how a woman (or a man) could be with someone that once kept them as a side piece...? There's a really, really good chance that he'll cheat on you, too.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do. The decision is ultimately yours.

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  • Boo0512Boo0512 member

    Unless you truly believe that this man is going to commit to you, I would recommend putting the baby up for adoption. I don't believe that abortion should be used in circumstanes like this. There are SO many people, including many women that are members of this site that are dying to get pregnant/have a child to love and raise. This baby didn't have a choice in being conceived.

     Good luck to you, I hope things turn out well.

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  • BekW2009BekW2009 member

    imagesididdi1978:
    He's still living with her...he told me he was going to divorce her before I got pregnant. I want him to be divorced before he comes lives with me because that was the agragreement between us. I believed him then. I really did. No I don't have anyone to talk too and I know I don't have 3 months to wait on him to do what he said he's gonna do. I'm praying on it. I really want to keep my baby...I just don't want to do it alone... P.s. what do mud stand for?

    It doesn't take married men 3 months to move out and get a divorce... Sorry, I don't think he's leaving his wife. You have a better chance of moving in with them.

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  • tlafond82tlafond82 member

    imageskio:
    Um. I don't even know where to start. And if this ends up being MUD, I'm going to have wasted some good brain cells here. Okay, so, are you saying that you would only keep the baby if he commits to you? If you decide to take his word for it and keep the baby, are you able to support yourself and a child on your own if he jets? Also, where is he living now? Why does his divorce have to be finalized for you two to live together? I suggest you ditch the dude unless he makes an honest, real, genuine commitment to you. But he sure doesn't sound like a stand up guy, and if you're already doubting his commitment, I would bet that he's not in it for the long haul. I'm not going to lie, I'm conflicted about your comment on whether to keep the baby. I'm pro choice, but I also know I generally couldn't abort except in a few extenuating circumstances, and getting knocked up by someone who won't commit to me is not one of them. But, that's me, and it's your choice. Is there someone you can talk to to help you through this? Relative, friend, therapist? Please do. Good luck with whatever you choose.

    Yes All of this!!

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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    Your sperm donor would have left his wife a while back if he was going to do it. He is stringing you along and telling you what you want to hear. I'm sorry.

    Don't count on him to be there for you. Also, once a cheater always a cheater. He would cheat on you too.

    I'm sorry, but you are best to look into doing this alone as a reality if you choose to keep the baby.


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  • jmubride2jmubride2
    there is always adoption
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  • dakardi12dakardi12 member
    It took my husband one week to divorce his ex from file to sign and pack. It was years before i met him, but i believe him. 3 months is bull!! Ditch the dirt bag.
    I also agree with the repeat offender thing.
    As far as baby goes, its not its fault youre in this situation.
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