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October 2012 Moms
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i think I'm done breastfeeding

Mrs.RockyMMrs.RockyM member
in October 2012 Moms
Well dd fed for pretty much an hour, and I've never felt worse. My boobs hurt so badly. I can't wear a bra, I can't hold my baby against my chest, I can't hug my 3 year old, I feel like the only way to be pain free is with my arms outw to my side without a shirt. I'm miserable, feel like a huge failure yet again and I think after 8 days I'm done with breastfeeding. I'm emotional I know, but I realized earlier today that I'm taking my ibuprofen and oxycodone to help with breastfeeding pain not the pain if my cs.

DH doesn't get it and keeps saying its not a big deal and we'll pump and bottlefeed for a few sessions to give me time to heal, and I can try again tomorrow, but I'm not sure I want to. I'll pump but I don't think bfing is for me. There's no fabulous bonding experience for DD 2 and I, and I'm not enjoying it at all.

Anyone else feeling this way? I kind I'd just want to "talk" about this with someone who understands.
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Re: i think I'm done breastfeeding

  • jillybean800jillybean800 member

    I did feel like this up until probably day 10 post partum. Now that I am more than 2 weeks out, it's gotten so much easier. My boobs don't even really fill up like they used to anymore, but I know he's still getting the milk becuase he's gaining weight. I can now hug my son again, which was a huge deal for me too. I'm still not loving the BFing, but I think I'm going to go to 8 weeks, until he has all of his vaccines.

    I would say, maybe give it another week or so, just to really make sure you don't want to.  After that, if you still feel the same way, get that kid on some formula, guilt free!  There's no law that says you have to breastfeed, although I totally get the guilt that goes along with "giving up."

    Oh, also, I started pumping this time right away and my H gives a nightly bottle at midnight.  It's been great...I highly suggest it!  There really is no reason not to pump right away. GL! You are not alone!

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  • Mrs.G123Mrs.G123 member
    With DD I didn't think I would last 10 days and we went 24 mos. it is SO hard, don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work. Do you have gel pads if its your nipples that hurt? They have made a world of difference for me.
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  • Starry AgainStarry Again member

    I would say do what you have to do, formula isn't poison and if that is the best choice for your family, don't feel bad about it.

    However I agree with Laura about not quitting on a bad day. When I came down with mastitis and was shivering on the couch with a 103 degree fever and the baby was screaming for food, I really thought I couldn't go on. But DH and my mom completely took over everything else at that point and all I had to do was feed her and take care of myself. Point being, if you can enlist any help, that might buy you some more time to make your decision.

    Best of luck. 

    DD 9/15/12
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  • navyandvioletnavyandviolet member
    imageStarry Again:

    I would say do what you have to do, formula isn't poison and if that is the best choice for your family, don't feel bad about it.

    However I agree with Laura about not quitting on a bad day. When I came down with mastitis and was shivering on the couch with a 103 degree fever and the baby was screaming for food, I really thought I couldn't go on. But DH and my mom completely took over everything else at that point and all I had to do was feed her and take care of myself. Point being, if you can enlist any help, that might buy you some more time to make your decision.

    Best of luck. 

     

    I like this so I shall ditto.  Also hugs.  BF is hard and I definitely feel mommy guilt when I am attatched to the baby when my other kids want my attention. Formula and a happy mommy is better than  BF and a stressed mommy.

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  • lauracorolauracoro
    imagedotmbc:
    I started pumping after 4 days. My nipples were bleeding and bruised like crazy. We took a 2 day pumping break for them to heal. Now we are phasing back in the breast...very slowly. I pump then try to put him on. If he latches we keep going, if he doesn't we fed the bottle.

    If you were set on bfing before I would encourage you to just take a break for a couple days and let yourself heal. Then you can try again to see if you can do it without killing yourself. I am finding it much easier now that I don't have the pressure of making sure he gains weight to think about. Do you have an lc?


    I started pumping immediately because ds list weight and they wanted me to pump to see how much milk he was getting.
    I also had bruising and soreness so I took a break and am now doing the same putting him to the breast and if he doesn't latch we bottle feed. For the past few days he has been latching well. And the soreness is better. But pumping and bottle feeding or formula feeding is nothing to be ashamed of. It's really hard to bf when it fells like needles in your nipples every time.
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  • Starry AgainStarry Again member
    Oh also I noticed I was taking my pain meds more for the boobs vs csection as well. I still am taking 1-3 ibuprofen a day, but each day the pain gets a little better. But just didn't want you to feel alone there!
    DD 9/15/12
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  • Elli143Elli143 member

    I am right there with you. DD is 15 days old and we've had issues with latching from day one. Even after hiring a lactation consultant I'm no better off, and DD is still having trouble gaining weight - she was barely back up to her birth weight at her 2 week appointment. I bought an Ameda pump to try to help things along but the flanges were too big and it took several days to find a store that sold the size I need. I came home and tried it out and I can only get milk out of one boob on the pump - I don't know what I'm doing wrong but apparently I have to get a magical angle/fit just for anything to come out.

    So I can't BF effectively, and pumping isn't working so well either. DH has started giving DD formula supplements at night so I can get some sleep or when she's still fussing after emptying both breasts, but it still kills me to see him giving her a bottle of formula and then seeing her pass out for hours afterwards when she does nothing but nap and cry from the little she can get from me.

    I know that formula is not all that bad but it still isn't what I want to do. I hear that once baby is older breastfeeding might get easier (my problem is that she won't open her mouth wide enough to latch and won't stick her tongue out when she latches, so I hear clicking noises when she nurses and she basically just chews directly on my nipple the entire time). I don't want to give up BFing but I'm not sure how much longer this can go on :(

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  • Elli143Elli143 member

    Oh, and for OP, my lactation consultant gave me these to help my sore nipples heal, and they have been a complete lifesaver: https://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2403242

    I also got a prescription nipple cream that worked a thousand times better than the lanolin. Triple Nipple Cream was what it was called, I think there's a four letter acronym for it but I don't know what it is off the top of my head. If not for those two things I would have given up last week. 

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  • soon2Bclcsoon2Bclc
    Please do not beat yourself up about it.  If it's not working for you, it's not working for you.  I felt the same way with my DD1, and felt guilt because everyone kept telling me how it was the best thing for the baby and how it will get easier.  I actually had waves of depression sweep over me every time I would try and nurse or pump.  I would get about 1/2 ounce total when i pumped and DD was hungry all the time.  I would tell friends and family that and it was always "just keep doing it, it will get easier".  It was horrible, and the guilt that people gave me was even worse.  I ended up quiting, and it was the best decision for me, my body and my daughter.  My DD is smart, healthy and was formula fed from about day 10.  She doesn't have allergies or asthma, has had 2 ear infections since she was born (she's 3.5 now), and rarely gets sick.  Formula feeding worked perfectly fine for us, do what makes YOU feel good, do not get guilted into breastfeeding, it's not for everyone.   That said, I will try again this time with DD2, but if it's not working again, I won't hesitate to stop and go to formula.  good luck with whatever your decision may be! :) 
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  • teamsweetteamsweet member

    There are ways to BF pain-free (both nipple shields and soft shells would help you).  I'd recommend a visit to a LC to help with your latch - it shouldn't feel like that. 

    Maybe pump for a few days to let your nipples heal and try again.  And google latching videos (latch should be asymmetrical, lead in with baby's chin, etc).  Good luck. 

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  • Cynthia1207Cynthia1207 member

    I'm not having the worst experience BF but I can sympathize with you.  I wasn't even planning on BF but I had told myself I would try at the hospital.  DS latched on really well so I decided to continue. 

    I use a nipple shield whenever my nipples are more cracked and bloody.  It gives them a break but it's still stimulates them.  It's definitely hard but like pp's have said, never give up on a bad day.  I've heard by many people the first two weeks are the hardest so I'm giving myself at least 3 to evaluate :)

    Good luck with everything and remember that as long as your child is fed and growing properly, that's what's important.  How you feed LO is your decision.

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