Planning own baby shower

shajenjen · October 2012

I would like to know what ya'll think about planning your own baby shower? This will be my 2nd child & I didn't have a baby shower with the first one but I really really want to throw one. It looks like if I don't throw it myself I won't have one this go round either. The plus side is that my child's father is willing to pay for it all but I just feel like I shouldn't have to be the one doing it I thought friends & family were suppose to. Need some opinions, please.

AuntieKelsey07 · October 2012

Friends and/or family are supposed to. It's considered bad etiquette to throw your own. Do you have a family member or friend you can talk to and ask if they would be willing to throw it? Let them know that your child's father is willing to pay/pitch in.

shajenjen · October 2012

I do have a friend that said she is gonna help but I thought they did everything & I was just suppose to show up. I'm letting it bother me & its getting overwhelming to the point to where I just won't have one at all. I don't know why I'm freaking out like this.

JumpAroundBucky · October 2012

It is extremely poor etiquette to throw your own shower. A baby shower is a gift. If no one offers to throw you one, unfortunately, you don't get one. It is appropriate, however, to throw a "meet the baby" party after baby is born (as long as there is no mention of gifts or a registry on the invitation).

LoveIsOwlYouNeed · October 2012

You really shouldn't throw your own shower. It's not good etiquette like PP said and it can come across as very gift-grabby. It's also not the best form to ask for one. Could the father talk to someone in his family or a mutual friend about throwing you a shower and offer to pay? If not, I think most people will advise you to not have a shower.

You could also throw a meet-the-baby party after the birth.

Smiley-1980 · October 2012

My Mom is throwing mine for me but I am pretty much planning it with her help. She lives out of town so I had to book the room and I've come up with many of the ideas. If you have a family member that is willing to be the host you can still do most of the planning but it won't look as bad.

TexasMom7137 · October 2012

JumpAroundBucky:
It is extremely poor etiquette to throw your own shower. A baby shower is a gift. If no one offers to throw you one, unfortunately, you don't get one. It is appropriate, however, to throw a "meet the baby" party after baby is born (as long as there is no mention of gifts or a registry on the invitation).

Yes

jobiann · October 2012

PrivacyWanted:
In a lot of people's minds you'd be committing two etiquette sins 1) hosting your own shower and 2) having a shower for a 2nd.
I'm not sure how old your first LO is, but unless there are special circumstances (IE large age gap, first child for your SO and SO will be involved) then 2nd baby showers are frowned upon in their own right...even then, many people frown on the 2nd shower

This, in my circle we don't have showers for 2nd, 3rd, 4th children etc. And we would never throw one ourselves. So I don't really have any good advice to give you. Don't post this on the Baby Shower board on TB, you'll get flamed to high heavens!

GraceyandTroy · October 2012

Don't throw your own shower. If you want to throw a party, do a meet the baby party afterwards. Don't mention gifts and/or registry on the invite. But, people will probably still bring you gifts anyway.

I know what you mean about wanting to host a party to celebrate your baby, that's part of the reason why I decided to do a gender reveal party (we didn't ask for or even expect them, but a few people brought gifts). But I did that because I LOVE LOVE LOVE throwing parties and wanted to be hands off for the showers that my fam and friends are throwing.

this decaf life · October 2012

I'd hint to one of your relatives that you want one but it's in bad taste to throw your own. It looks very "gift grabby" when someone else does it for you it's because they want to give you gifts.

Allycat11 · October 2012

It is absolutely not acceptable to host your own shower or ask someone to host one for you. A shower is a gift, if no one offers unfortunately you will not get one. In my family showers are for first time moms only and we would not have one for a mom who already has 1 or more children.

Kay1029 · October 2012

First, I'm really sorry you didn't get a shower the first time around. But, like all the PP have said, it is very very poor etiquette to throw your own shower. There has to be a friend or family member on either your's or your SO's side that would be willing to host the shower. You could explain to them that you would love to help with all the planning and that even your SO would be willing to pitch in or even pay for the whole thing. Not to mention that many showers are in the next few weeks. Putting all that together in a few weeks could be a whole lot of work that you really shouldn't be bothered with when you are planning for your LO.

I have had friends that have had "sprinkles" for their second child. More of a luncheon to celebrate the baby but gifts were not expected and a registry was not even made. If you wanted to something to celebrate your pregnancy and having a second baby maybe go down this path. But don't call it a shower and don't expect gifts or even do a registry.

bstengler · October 2012

KayleighG27:
First, I'm really sorry you didn't get a shower the first time around. But, like all the PP have said, it is very very poor etiquette to throw your own shower. There has to be a friend or family member on either your's or your SO's side that would be willing to host the shower. You could explain to them that you would love to help with all the planning and that even your SO would be willing to pitch in or even pay for the whole thing. Not to mention that many showers are in the next few weeks. Putting all that together in a few weeks could be a whole lot of work that you really shouldn't be bothered with when you are planning for your LO.
I have had friends that have had "sprinkles" for their second child. More of a luncheon to celebrate the baby but gifts were not expected and a registry was not even made. If you wanted to something to celebrate your pregnancy and having a second baby maybe go down this path. But don't call it a shower and don't expect gifts or even do a registry.

hansonam446 · October 2012

Don't do it.

Mama5181 · October 2012

hansonam446:
nbsp;Don't do it.nbsp;

LOVE THE GIF!!!

brittandjp · October 2012

...is a REALLY awful idea.

PPs pretty much covered it all, but it's incredibly poor etiquette. I also don't think it's appropriate to ask (or even hint for) someone to throw you one. This reminds me of the push present thread down below.

Please don't do it. It's tacky. If you really want to celebrate the pregnancy, host a BBQ or something once the baby is here. Although I certainly wouldn't register or ask/suggest that gifts are included.

TofuMama7 · October 2012

CherylAnn789:

You really shouldn't throw your own shower. It's not good etiquette like PP said and it can come across as very gift-grabby. It's also not the best form to ask for one. Could the father talk to someone in his family or a mutual friend about throwing you a shower and offer to pay? If not, I think most people will advise you to not have a shower.

You could also throw a meet-the-baby party after the birth.

I agree with all this, especially the bolded parts. Throwing your own shower is tacky but having the father ask around and offer to pay is less so if he asks one of his family members, but could still be seen as tacky.

And like PPs have mentioned, you can always do a meet the baby party after if you don't find someone to throw one.

Jen1108Wed219410 · October 2012

I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I am planning my baby shower (with my family's help. They are paying for things and so am I). I never had an opportunity to plan showers for friends or other family members, so I figured it would be a perfect time to have fun with my own. I also think of it as the gifts are really for the baby, because she will be the ones to use them and not really for me. Go for it and have fun!

dpaws718 · October 2012

If you want a shower and there is no one to plan it for you, I say plan it yourself. Put the baby's fathers name on the invite as the host and do what you want and let him pay. Don't listen to this etiquette crap. If you wanna celebrate your baby then do it. No one pays your bills or does anything for you to tell you that you cant do something. So if you want it then do it! Good luck

Want a personalized experience?

Planning own baby shower

Re: Planning own baby shower

Choose Another Board

Search Boards