October 2011 Moms

A party etiquette "ugh" moment

We know a couple who have a son almost exactly a month younger than Lily.  We're not super close with them, but DH is friends with basically the husband's entire family, and we hang out in a group a few times a year.  We went to each other's baby showers last year and we always comment on baby-related FB photos and statuses and stuff like that, but our babies have only met once and we've only seen the couple, like, two other times without babies this year.  We had a small birthday party for Lily, just immediate family and our closest friends.  Just before Lily's party, I got a FB invitation to their son's birthday party (it made me toy with the idea of inviting them, but stuck with our small intimate party instead).  They invited 50 people and so far only about 10 or 15 have replied, but the party is still nearly 3 weeks away.

Well, today the husband just posted on the event a message to get people to RSVP (which they could've put an RSVP by date in the description or something, but they didn't).  This is pissing me off because it's a really long, pushy "Hey, we need you to say if you're coming or not 'cause we're trying to figure out how much food we need."  Seriously?  Couldn't you have just updated the description with a request that people RSVP by a certain date?  Or post a simple "The party's coming up quicker than you think; please RSVP!" or something like that.  I know it's not a big deal, but it's really making me want to decline the invitation.  It feels like a gift grab to have invited us anyway.

BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010

BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011

BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013


http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tickerticker.aspx?&TT=bdy&TT1=bdy&CL=&CT=&CG=F&O=m_sleep4&T=t_b22&D=20110929&M1=&D1=&T2=Our+Rosh+Hashanah+baby!&T1=Lily&T3=&CC=0&CO=&CO2=&W=&TS=&R=A&SC=green

http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tickerticker.aspx?&TT=bdy&TT1=bdy&CL=&CT=&CG=F&O=m_baby7&T=t_b14&D=20130825&M1=&D1=&T2=&T1=Sammy&T3=&CC=0&CO=&CO2=&W=&TS=&R=A&SC=green

Re: A party etiquette "ugh" moment

  • Yeah that is a weird way to word it. I had a party once and people rarely RSVP, so I just messaged everyone and said I couldn't wait to spend the day with them and to please RSVP so I could make sure I had enough food for everyone.

    It is frustrating when people don't RSVP but a simple polite reminder is okay. That guys reminder wasn't really polite. Haha
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  • I agree about adding an RSVP request, Super.  And good point about people missing it if they added the info in the description; I hadn't thought of that.  I have no problem with asking for people to respond, it really was the pushy way it was done.  And they do have a big family and most of the invites are family members, but then there are some random additions of people they're not close to like us.  I don't think the event is gift grabby at all, I think inviting us when we almost never hang out was gift grabby.

    BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010

    BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011

    BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013


    http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tickerticker.aspx?&TT=bdy&TT1=bdy&CL=&CT=&CG=F&O=m_sleep4&T=t_b22&D=20110929&M1=&D1=&T2=Our+Rosh+Hashanah+baby!&T1=Lily&T3=&CC=0&CO=&CO2=&W=&TS=&R=A&SC=green

    http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tickerticker.aspx?&TT=bdy&TT1=bdy&CL=&CT=&CG=F&O=m_baby7&T=t_b14&D=20130825&M1=&D1=&T2=&T1=Sammy&T3=&CC=0&CO=&CO2=&W=&TS=&R=A&SC=green

  • imageLCass:
    I agree about adding an RSVP request, Super.  And good point about people missing it if they added the info in the description; I hadn't thought of that.  I have no problem with asking for people to respond, it really was the pushy way it was done.  And they do have a big family and most of the invites are family members, but then there are some random additions of people they're not close to like us.  I don't think the event is gift grabby at all, I think inviting us when we almost never hang out was gift grabby.

    Yeah I agree with this. Nobody ever RSVP's around here. Seriously annoying but there is a nice way of asking and a rude way. It is also weird to me that they invited you when you're not really that close. Just odd.

  • Also inviting people only via facebook is really annoying. It just comes across as really lazy to me. I get not wanting to spend a lot of money on invites but I designed Natalie's with 12 pictures and such for .36cents a piece I believe. I mean really, how hard is it even to pick up a pack of cheap invites (even the dollar tree) and drop them in the mail? I know, I know age of technology and junk but facebook is so impersonal.

  • imageSuperDeDuper:

    Yup, I agree with you and Drewbie then...it seems odd.  No harm in going if you want to hang out at a party, eat some of their food, bring a little gift, etc.  But I wouldn't feel guilty for declining either. 

    Whatever you do, make sure you RSVP!!!!  Or they might come after you!!!!

    Haha, I'll discuss with DH and RSVP tonight.  And the husband actually just deleted his message and re-posted it with better wording.  My guess is it was just a y-chromosome moment.

    Drewbie, I don't mind FB/internet invites most of the time.  We did an evite for Lily's, but we actually first invited the dozen people in person or on the phone and then sent the evite just so people could refer back to the details of time and date.  But I know the baby showers board would have loved their FB invite to their shower last year that they seemed to be throwing for themselves (I think her mom was actually the one hosting/paying for it, but that's not the way it appeared).

    BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010

    BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011

    BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013


    http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tickerticker.aspx?&TT=bdy&TT1=bdy&CL=&CT=&CG=F&O=m_sleep4&T=t_b22&D=20110929&M1=&D1=&T2=Our+Rosh+Hashanah+baby!&T1=Lily&T3=&CC=0&CO=&CO2=&W=&TS=&R=A&SC=green

    http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tickerticker.aspx?&TT=bdy&TT1=bdy&CL=&CT=&CG=F&O=m_baby7&T=t_b14&D=20130825&M1=&D1=&T2=&T1=Sammy&T3=&CC=0&CO=&CO2=&W=&TS=&R=A&SC=green

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