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January 2013 Moms
Chocodoxies
member
DD? "A little graphic"
Chocodoxies
member
What is going on here? Did it get DD'd?
Lost but never forgotten 
: </br>
1st BFP 2/8/06 m/c @ 12 weeks;
2nd BFP 2/9/07 w/ Clomid; DD (Monica Caroline) born 11/16/07;
3rd BFP 3/25/11 w/ injections m/c @ 5 weeks;
4th BFP 8/3/11 w/ injections diagnosed blighted ovum;
5th BFP 1/20/12 m/c @ 9 weeks;
6th BFP 4/27/12 Praying for our rainbow
: </br>
1st BFP 2/8/06 m/c @ 12 weeks;
2nd BFP 2/9/07 w/ Clomid; DD (Monica Caroline) born 11/16/07;
3rd BFP 3/25/11 w/ injections m/c @ 5 weeks;
4th BFP 8/3/11 w/ injections diagnosed blighted ovum;
5th BFP 1/20/12 m/c @ 9 weeks;
6th BFP 4/27/12 Praying for our rainbow
This discussion has been closed.
Re: DD? &quot;A little graphic&quot;
Our house building adventure (UPDATED 8/20/12)
Wedding Planning Bio
Our wedding blogged! (Click Brad & Briana on the right side)
Well, either Rocky DD'd after specifically saying he wouldn't (seems kinda dumb to me) or it was deleted by an admin after he admitted that he was PM'd with letters hoping his baby dies in hopes that he will "feel" the pain he is so curious about. That is so flucked up it is unconscionable.
Too bad the thread is gone. It could have helped a lot of people to better understand what happens during a miscarriage and the kind of emotion toll it takes on the women who experience them.
Yes, I agree it was a very eye opening thread. Thank you for your story it was heartbreaking.
What?!?!?! OMG that's terrible. So many crazies on the interwebs. :- No one deserves that kind of harassment.
26 years old, married since June 2009, DS born 1/19/13
Dear Baby Pacheco...
Thank you. It is hard to write, but I have read so many threads with women completely confused and non-understanding that I had hopes that it could bring some light onto the topic and open up a healthy discussion.
Our house building adventure (UPDATED 8/20/12)
Wedding Planning Bio
Our wedding blogged! (Click Brad & Briana on the right side)
In that case, I totally understand the deletion. Sorry you were harassed, Rocky--from what I saw of the thread, it was respectful and informative, and in no way warranted that sort of treatment.
TTC #1 Since 8/2010
Me: 34, DH: 35 DX: DOR (FSH 14.9, AMH 0.67, AFC ~10) and Egg Quality
IVF #1 Feb 2012. MDFL protocol w/ Met. 7 ER, 0F.
May Donor Egg IVF cycle:3 EF, 1 blast ET 5/12, 2 frosties
BFP 5/21! beta #1 5/22 306 beta #2 5/24 818 beta #3 5/31 15,038.
"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." --Dennis Wholey
Wow- AWFUL! No one should have to experience the loss of a child at ANY stage. Like Choco said, people don't understand until you've been there. But this board has been a place of support. I am sad to think that people here would say such things!
I assume it was deleted due to the PMs and the personal attacks. Not to mention people were getting attacked for trying to elaborate and defend my intentions.
Some ladies here posted some very informative and personal stories. Too bad it was marred by people immediately going to personal attack mode. A lot of it wasn't very informative or a discussion but an offensive.
That is insane. I was obv pissed, but I would like to point out here that most humans who have ever suffered a loss would never wish it on their worst enemy. I have never seen an ALer ever wish that on anyone in all the crap I have read on the net... Our POSTED reactions are how we feel. Too bad they are gone now. That sucks. But also, maybe it will save the poor girl he posted about some extra grief.
It makes me sick that people would send him PMs like that. While I do not think he approached the topic as well as he could have, there was a lot of good information in that thread. And I would never wish a m/c or any kind of loss on anyone, not even my worst enemy.
1/12/13 DD was born
4/9/16 DS was born
9/17 CP
6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19
This, exactly. Rocky also admitted he'd had experience with a late-term loss, so while his post was a little clueless, he was obviously not trying to hurt anyone. Too bad it got out of hand.
ALL OF THIS
Linds, you aren't the only one wondering all this. THANK YOU. I didnt see anyone "attack" on that thread either. Just speak their minds, which they had every right to do. I haven't ever seen a mod delete a thread like that either and I think we DO smell a hint of bullshit. I was wondering if something got said while I wasn't on, but apparently not. I really have nothing nice to say at this point so....
For real. Dude's a straight-up liar. There's no way anybody sent him those PM's he's talking about, either. If they DID, Rocky, please tell us their names because anybody that psychotic deserves to be called out.
If this is the case, and Rocky DD'd the thread I find that terribly upsetting. It was really hard for me to write out my personal story and I would only do it for a positive benefit to those who have not experienced a loss or that that experienced a loss and stand in solidarity with me. If this was in fact nothing more than a DD by a ticked of bumper...
Yeah. No words.
I do have a screen shot of the last page, and the last post. No one made any threats on the last page of the thread. Any threats at all would have to have been made in PM to the OP, and thus would not be available to the general public to see. Also, I have never heard or read any AL's EVER saying anything like he was suggesting, so those messages would have come from someone else.
Agreed. As absurd as I thought his post was, I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy. I have a VERY hard time believing he received PMs like that. I can't wait for him to tell us who sent them.
Yep...
Bahahahaha. Here in the midwest, too!
The crickets are better in the south. Therefore, you should move to the south.
I just wanted to agree that I had not read any personal attacks and I had read through everything. I can't imagine that someone who has suffered a loss could actually wish it on anyone. I guess there are some sick people. What I saw were a lot of people hurt and upset by what was posted and others who just didn't quite get it.
I would like to say I was disappointed with the response by Rocky in this thread. I don't see how your post had good intentions. I mean no offence but the way you describe your post here doesn't fit the post I read.
It didn't have good intentions, it was, quite frankly, a phishing expedition to hear some dirty details on what happens during a miscarriage. It was posted thoughtlessly and hurtfully without regard to the pain it could inflict. And let's be honest, he doesn't want to say that. He doesn't want to admit that he was curious, and he was thoughtless and he inflicted pain on a large population of women. He doesn't want to think that he was a borderline cruel. He doesn't want to admit that he was using others pain as a tool to examine his own curiosity, because to admit that feels pretty crappy. At the end of all of this, a lot of women opened up about their painful stories, and he still didn't get it, so he deleted it. Just look at how he comments on it now in this thread, "post about natural expulsion post miscarriage". Pretty crappy way to say "losing a baby". It wasn't about the woman who just had a miscarriage, or his feeling badly for her. It wasn't about the women who posted their stories, because he wasn't interested even though that is what he claimed, it wasn't about anyone but him. He was a kid with a magnifying glass and an ant hill, and the ants fought back. He thought he could just step into a women's pregnancy board, and punch out a few comments, make a few threads and "get" what his wife is experiencing, and when it boils down to it... he is a man. He will not get it and frankly he got cocky. Hopefully he learned some tact from this whole experience. I am walking away with a further respect for the AL's who were so brave as to hop on that thread and tell their stories, even when he was so flippant that he DD'd the whole thing, like a slap to the face.
I cried at the stories told on that thread. Thanks to all who shared. His OP couldn't have been well-intentioned, I knew that when I read "If I saw my wife doing that I'd look into counseling." If that isn't horribly judging something/someone going through a devastating time, I don't know what is.
And instead of a heartfelt apology, I smell a GBCB coming. Or just radio silence.
Norah transformed our family January 6, 2013
Thank you for this. I think this sums up everything perfectly and his use of "expulsion" has been bothering me since I read it. I can't express how horrible it makes me feel to read it.
It's too bad that the thread is gone.
I do want to give a shout out and big (((HUGS))) to all of the woman who took the time to share their stories of loss on that post. I know how hard that is to do.
Exactly. You will never, ever find a stronger group of women than those who've lost their babies (err... I mean "expelled their embryos") and soldiered on. Rocky had to learn that the hard way.
Very true. It is like FreyaWin's siggy says: You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. Truer words have never been spoken.
My point here is that until you are in the exact situation as the person you are speculating about, you can have no possible way of understanding their frame of mind, or what that sort of an earth shattering experience can do to someone in that moment. Like i said, i passed out, when i came to the week following was spent in bed basically dead to the world. I talked to my husband and no one else. I barely ate. I barely moved. To an outsider? This would look extreme, like the sort of unhealthy behavior that perhaps required counseling.. But allowing myself that time to grieve is what i think enabled me to move passed it eventually.. One day at a time i healed. In my own way. In my own time. And i think everyone should have that right without having to worry that someone would put their experience under a microscope to inspect for all the world to see, and criticize, and judge.. I feel sorry for that poor girl, and sincerely hope she never found out about his post. Talk about kicking someone when they're down..
Just my 2 cents. Sorry for the novel.
Rocky ... You must be a big fan of fiction. No one PM you anything, that doesn't happen here. And we all know you deleted that thread before more people could see how insensitive you were. And not one woman personally attacked you on that thread. It wasn't an offensive, it was a lot heartfelt stories about us who had a "natural expulsion post miscarriage." (Really dude?) Stay on the Dads & Dads-to-be Board if you HAVE to be on the Bump. (I mean seriously, what grown man frequents a pregnancy board? It would creep me out if my partner was on June 2013. You can't offer anything, can you? Because you actually don't go through any of the things we do.
And, I'll say it again, the "I'd send my wife to counseling" comment was crap. Especially to those of us that had to go, as we couldn't get past some things associated with our LOSS OF OUR BABIES. (That's the correct way say it, by the way.)
We lost our first (EDD 07/23/12) after finding out at 12 weeks there was no longer a heartbeat. Our rainbow was born 05/22/13 and was worth all we went through.
“So can you understand? Why I want a daughter while I’m still young? I wanna hold her hand and show her some beauty before all this damage is done. But if it’s too much to ask, it’s too much to ask … Then send me a son.” – Arcade Fire
Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry for your loss, and that you went through that alone at the time. I can't imagine the fear and emotional distress you felt. It means a lot to me that you would open up like this, so I will do the same.
When I had my first miscarriage at 12 weeks it was at home. My doctor had given me three pills of insertable medicine and my mother and DH were there with me. I don't remember a lot from the first m/c because of my mental state. I remember my legs giving out from underneath me and my mother catching me. I remember passing my baby, and losing my mind. I remember my DH waking up at 3:00am a few days later because I was in the bathroom reorganizing all my bath products and scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush. The year that followed is an utter blur. I suffered from acute agoraphobia and couldn't walk past my garage for so much as the mail without passing out. I didn't call anyone in my family and I lost touch with nearly all of my friends during that time because I couldn't handle telling them the story, or hearing their interpretations of how I should be handling it. I am so very thankful that I had my husband and my mother to protect me and care for me during that time. I was not at all mentally sane. Without them I don't know how I would have handled that whole year, or the five that followed in which I had my DD and lost three more babies.
After my last loss I found the TTCAL board, and though I didn't post before finding out I was surprisingly pregnant with this LO, those ladies were my saviors. The PGAL board has kept me sane through these past 7 months while I have been terrified to breath, and have yet to prepare for my daughter's arrival in three short months. I too feel terribly for that poor girl, and though I hope she doesn't ever get wind of the DD'd post, or the contents within, if she does I hope she also stumbles across this post and sees some amazing women who supported her while she was down and being kicked.
I am so, so, sorry for your loss.. I wish i had found the Loss and TTCAL boards after we lost our first. To this day, other then you ladies, there are 3 people that know about our losses other then me. My husband, my mother, and my best friend. The rest of my family.. The rest of my friends.. I couldn't bare to tell. At the beginning of this pregnancy, when we lost one of the twins, and i was told i could lose Thoren too, i was petrified that it was all happening again, that this was what my life would be. I am so grateful for every day that passes and he keeps growing, and kicking away in there. I can not imagine losing 4..
((Hugs))
Before I lose the screen shot I have (just in case) I wanted to post Rocky's original explanation of why exactly he felt the need to post the offending thread, and how he responded to all of the stories from the various AL's . I thought maybe it would be best to not post this, but I have since rethought it and decided that if he was man enough to post it in the first place, he should be able to handle it being here where it belongs.
Wow.
The reason I went silent is because I work during the day. I post in the mornings and evenings for the most part, unless I go home for lunch a couple times a week. Today was not one of those days. Sorry I am not on here hitting F5 to refresh over and over. You will see the last couple days I have barely posted anything on any board. I am not on here 24/7, so I apologize.
I reposted it here because I wanted to ask other people without coming out and asking the person who posted her story directly. She is going through a lot right now and probably didn't need someone asking her questions directly. I see someone already decided to show her this, so that is fine. But what is wrong with that? She posted her story on the internet. If it was a personal and private issue not to be discussed- then don't post it on the internet on a message board where people discuss things. It was also posted on an extremely general board that everyone here has been on- the first trimester board. I thought I was doing the appropriate thing by asking on a different board so I wasn't questioning someone who JUST experienced it. I figured it was more appropriate to ask people who may be able to answer it for me the best way.
The only thing I will apologize for is some of the wording. Although most of it is borrowed from the original post, some of it came out wrong. Although I did clarify myself a few posts later in regards to the "counseling" remark, I can some didn't bother to read that far. And that is fine- you can only judge based on the merits of my original post. I get that.
But, you can't have your cake and eat it too. If you are going to judge me based simply on my OP- then how can you judge me as a person? Someone commented about how "lucky" my wife must be to be married to me? You have no idea who I am or what I have been through. People here are acting like I have never experienced loss in my life? Really? How about when I went with my sister to pick out a tiny coffin for her 38w old baby who died due to placental detachment? And UI paid for everything? I know what that loss was like. I also know what the baby looked like. I have no idea what a 7w old baby would look like.
I made a post that some have deemed inappropriate. Fine. I accept that. I can understand how it would come off as inappropriate. I wasn't judging or condemning the lady who I posted that about. I never once said "This chick is insane!". I iterated multiple times that I wasn't being judgmental.
My post was nothing more than an attempt to try to understand if that type of thing happens often. I honestly had no idea that passing a miscarried embryo/fetus/etc naturally was even possible. I didn't want to ask her in her thread because I didn't think it would be appropriate. I didn't think she was on this board to see my questions because she isn't and wouldn't have been due in January 2013. I didn't consider someone would want to stir the pot and jump at the first chance to link it to her.
So I apologize if I offended anyone or my wording offended anyone. I didn't mean for it to come across that way and I never intended to sound like I was being judgmental of her- because as I stated before, I wasn't. I was really asking about the situation and if this happened to me, I would want to provide counseling for my wife because this is a horrible event that no one should have to go through. I didn't know that it was as graphic as described.
Thanks- and no, I'm not going to "DD" this thread. It was an honest mistake.
Congratulations on your LO. I have no idea why things go the way that they do. I don't know if it is God, or nature, or fate, or just the way that the chips fall. I do know that every experience makes us stronger is some way, perhaps weaker in another. I am terribly fearful of my losing my baby, and I still can't get overly excited when I see a + test because I am so scared of what could happen. I also know that I have in insane amount of strength within me, so much more than I ever could have imagined five years ago, and I would venture a guess that you feel similarly. It leaves us with a sense of great gratitude for what we have, and it makes the smaller stuff seem nearly microscopic. For that we can be thankful.
Google, dude.
This