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September 2012 Moms
PepperStick
member
I feel completely detached from DS. (tl;dr)
PepperStick
member
So after last night, I'm pretty certain I have PPD. I'm not sure how or when I should bring it up to my Dr.? Should I call right now? Should I wait until my 6w check? (Next Friday).
Symptoms I've been feeling: Irritable/angry almost all the time. I'm having some major mood swings. When I am feeling fine and content, I can go from that to angry for basically no reason at all.
I have absolutely zero patience for DD for which I feel horrible about. I feel like I'm constantly yelling at her. I have no appetite, I'm starting to feel like I'm getting insomnia,
I feel completely detached from DS. I love him, but it's not anywhere near the way I love my daughter. I feel like I'm only taking care of him because I have too. I honestly feel like the shittiest person on the planet for feeling like that. I don't feel like that all the time. Like now when he's sleeping or he's happy. But as soon as he cries, I just want to set him down and run. He's really bad at night. From like 6pm to 6am, he basically just cries and screams the whole time. He also fusses a lot during the day.
I constantly have to put him down so I can go try and regain composure, and remind myself that he needs me and he's not doing anything wrong so there isn't any point in getting upset. It's just so hard.
We also all share a room, so when he wakes and screams, he usually wakes DD who also needs me to fall asleep. Usually I can leave the room before she wakes up, but if she wakes up it takes a long time to get her back down (while juggling a screaming DS). So she's irritable and tired during the day also.
We think he might have a milk intolerance or silent reflux so I've been cutting out dairy (he's EBF) but it's only been a couple days.
I also don't have any help during the week. SO works out of town all week and is only home on the weekends. I SAH with the babies and try to get out everyday but I still feel completely stressed all the time. I'm also in school full-time. My only break is when I have class one night a week.
I'm sorry this is so long and jumbled. I'm just trying to get everything out for my own benefit, if anything.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I feel completely detached from DS. (tl;dr)
It won't hurt to call your doctor today. Even just talking about might help. Do you have any mom friends that can help with dd? Maybe try to schedule some playdates where you can drop her off for a couple of hours. Or a mother's day out program.
I didn't have ppd but did feel like just a caretaker for ds1 until about 6 weks when he started interacting more. GL!
I'm so sorry that this is your experience. I would call your Dr. now. Truly it sounds like you've got a lot on your plate, with a baby that is having some difficulties, and very little support for you. Can you call in any reinforcement? Can any grandparents come to help for a time? Resources and lack of support are major contributors to PPD. I hope, along with your Dr., that you're able to be patient with your self, your DD and DS and recover to your new self in time.
We're here when ya need.
Kid #1 - 09/03/12
Hysteroscopy #10 - scar tissue grew back reblocking my right tube
#11 or IVF with scarring still inside?
1 lone embryo from September 2016 retreival, dx with Trisomy 16, starting fresh
Hugs
I called my SO and let him know what was going on. I haven't been telling him much because I don't want to stress him out and be worried while he is away. I'm also concerned about medication. I am not one to unnecessarily medicate.
That's good. I have a hard time telling DH stuff like that too because I don't want him to worry, but you need all the support you can get.
I agree with everyone else, give your doctor a call. If medicine helps, I would give it a try, just tell your doctor it's something you don't like to take unneccessarily and they can help you come up with the best plan for you.
Big Kid Jan 2010
Littlest Man Sept 2012
The fact that you're brave enough to identify and share these feeling says a lot. There is no shame in asking for help, in fact, it's very brave. I agree that enlisting family/friend help as well as contacting a professional is a good idea. You are not the only one that feels like this and there are definitely people who can help.
In the meantime, I was researching herbs that can help with PPD last night and came across this. They may be helpful as an adjunct to other care you receive. Especially with the insomnia and irritability and the fact that, like me, you aren't into medication.
https://www.herbcompanion.com/Health/Heroic-Herbs-for-New-Moms.aspx
Good luck, mama, we're all sending you lots of love.
Just wanted to add some encouragement and give you kudos for recognizing and reaching out for help. PPD can happen to anyone and is a scary situation because we truly want only what is best for our LOs.
Good luck, and ((HUGS))
"I will show you the kind of big sister I will be..."
While I agree that you should definitely call a professional, I will go against the grain here and suggest that you call both a psychiatric mental health professional and also a good naturopath. After a year of treatment for my PPD we had determined that a large part of my issue was iron and progesterone depletion from childbirth along with mild Hashimoto's (thyroid disorder). Treating that made the hugest difference for me. My psychiatric nurse practitioner did give me some meds to get through the worst of it, but that was along with extensive weekly therapy.
My naturopath is really the one that helped me stabilize without the use of unnecessary meds. I've been keeping in close contact with him throughout my pregnancy and postpartum days and with the proper supplements I've been feeling amazing.
Please please get help, but not necessarily from your primary care provider. When I had my PPD breakdown my dr. just started handing me random prescriptions for antidepressants to "try out" until I found one I liked. Well, in the meantime some of them made my symptoms worse. Much much worse. Please see a mental health professional who can properly assess your needs and help you get evened out more quickly and smoothly.
You're not alone and you're not stuck feeling this way. But you will have to advocate for yourself until you find the care you need. You're going to have to start focusing on caring for yourself right now too. You can do it. And you'll be so much stronger in the long run for working through this.
Ive had the opposite affect on my children than you have. It's improved a lot but I became detached from my son my first born. He is at that tough age and is making everything harder.
I say call your doc today. Maybe they can see you Monday.
Hang in there.