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3rd Trimester
palma44
member
I hate the "Are you going to have a c-section" question!
palma44
member
I am just curious how you ladies handle this. I was ask if I was going to have a c-section all the time, it frustrates the heck out of me.
1. it isn't anyone else's business how I plan to deliver.
2. I don't think many women plan to have c-sections, they happen when necessary.
I am planing my 2nd pregnancy and I am going to try for a VBAC and I don't want to have to explain this to people.
What are you doing when people ask you about your delivery plans?
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Re: I hate the "Are you going to have a c-section" question!
I like this! gets the point accross.
I haven't been asked this yet, but people do say the most random things and ask oddly personal questions. If you don't want to get into it, give a nonanswer and change the subject. Maybe something like "It's nice of you to be concerned. I found the cutest going home outfit the other day. It's white fleece with blue puppy dogs. I wasn't sure if that'd be too warm for the baby, though. What do you think?" Etc.
I tend to stay away from snark / sarcasm in these situations, so I'd say it with a small smile, and maybe a puzzled look to indicate that it's a strange thing to ask.
If they're pushy / don't take the hint you could escalate to "I really don't care to discuss my medical plans" in a flat voice with an icy look. If they still ask, then I'd just walk away from the conversation.
Another standby is "I'll forgive you for asking if you'll forgive me for not answering," but that seems a bit much for this situation, IMO. I'd only pull that out for egregious violations of polite discourse, like asking what position you and DH prefer now that body shapes have changed.
I am having an RCS, so when people ask my due date, I just tell them that my c-section is scheduled for 12/27. I have only had a couple of people ask why I'm having a c-section, as most people I know already know about my difficulty with DS's delivery. So for the ones that have asked, I tell them why.
If I were going to try for a VBAC, I would tell them that I am "hoping" to be able to deliver vaginally this time around. You're right, it's not their business, but that's not going to stop them from asking. Also, don't forget, until recently, having a VBAC was actually more rare than having an RCS, so people are still getting used to that idea, and still tend to assume that you will have another c-section.
BFP 12/19/08- DS born 8/25/09 9lbs2oz via Zavanelli Maneuver
BFP 8/26/11- Missed miscarriage discovered 10/19/11 at 11w2d, measured at 9 weeks gestation w/ no HB. D&C 10/21/11
BFP 3/17/12 at 12dpo CP 3/21/12
BFP 4/23/12 at 10dpo Stick my little one! Beta #1: 83.3 @ 13dpo Beta #2: 197.7 @ 15dpo
Our little man is getting bigger every day!
My BFP Chart
Most of the people who ask me this are younger (around my age (23)) and uneducated about the whole birthing process. I've talked to so many younger women with no children that say they want to get a CS mainly because they don't want to "wreck" their downstairs and they think it will be a much easier / faster recovery!
I always kind of enjoy explaining some of the actual facts to them.
When people would ask me that, I would say "not by choice!". I had people telling me "have a c-section, it's sooo much better", to me, naturally would be the best way!
I had to have a C-section after 2hrs of pushing anyway!..........
It's funny, I got asked that all the time with my first, now that I have a RCS booked nobody asks. I wouldn't/don't care either way. When they do and I tell them that my first was they understand. I think in my case the people who knew that I had a c/s the first time kind of assumed that I would for the 2nd. I'm a planner. Most people who know me know that.
I have never had someone ask me this, and I have had one elective c-section and will do so with this pregnancy. I am not a young girl (as one of the previous woman posted). I am 36 and well educated about my decision. Kills me that people think that this is a blind/uneducated choice. So rediculous. Every womans choice and experience is personal. Anyone who wants to wave their finger at you and say "that is major surgery...are you crazy" needs to mind their business and be more concerned with what kind of parent they plan on being. These woman (almost always a woman with their unsolicited opinion )have totally lost sight of the big picture.