Community› The Bump Message Boards› Blended Families
Blended Families
New Discussion
Options

So annoyed!!!

jenn2714jenn2714 member
in Blended Families
I don't normally post, I'm mostly a lurker, but tonight I just need to vent a little. My SS who is soon to be 11 just got back from his mom's and is still wearing the same socks, underwear, and shorts from friday! He didn't shower all weekend and just changed his shirt today because he was comming home. The only reason I know this is because I started to pack and unpack his bags again due to clothes never making it back home and not knowing if it was when he was with his mom or my inlaws. I know him being almost 11 he should get the concept of changing his clothes and showering but, he is still very immature and doesn't care about that stuff yet, and unless he's told he's just not going to do it. When I asked him why he didn't change his clothes his response was "I didn't shower". I feel like I've repeated myself a billion times, and said yet again that he should be showering everyday (he has started puberty and sweats A LOT!) and even if he doesn't shower he should still be changing his clothes everyday. I'm not only frustrated with having had this same conversation with him over and over but also the fact that his mom is just not parenting! I get that she hasn't done a whole lot of parenting in the past almost 9 years but I didn't think it was that difficult to remind your kid to shower and change his clothes! Ok, I'm done, thanks for letting me vent!
image
image
image
image
image
Report Reply to Post

Re: So annoyed!!!

  • Options
    Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    If he showered on Friday and today then I dont think it is a huge deal. But not changing underwear and socks Ina preteen boy is nasty. You know his Mom won't change so I see two choices, either explain that no one will want to hang out with the stinky kid and point out when he stinks and leave it at that and he will have the natural consequences of a friend telling him he smells or give him consequences every time he does not change his clothes at night or morning, whenever you choose. If you choose to punish him for it I would stop reminding him at home too and follow through every time, he will learn if you do it at home. And yeah, many boys this age do not care, it will be interesting to see what my son is like at that age because he has over 24 pairs of underwear and will go through them in about 710 days.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
    Report Reply
  • Options
    J&A2008J&A2008 member

    Gross!

    But, typical.  Mom should be parenting.  My boys do not shower or put on clean clothes because they want to. 

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • Options
    NineoceansNineoceans member
    Super disgusting. I'd be upset too. We tell SS it's his job to remind himself to brush his teeth and take a shower or bath every other day. He can't get away with saying mom didn't tell him and he's much younger than your SS. I'd just drill it in his head and start instituting punishments
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    IlumineIlumine member

    We got custody of my SS at 12.  He too only changed his underwear/socks when he showered and he only showered every third day.

    I said somethingn to DH about it. 

    DH's response was "let him feel the natural consequences of public humiliation".  My reply "well, since we got him because he does not do well with emotional things, dont you think we are setting him (and us) up?" 

    No dice.

    So I let DH do it his way....with one exception.  I would not clean that nasty laundry - PERIOD. 

    I gave DH a clear choice, SS learns to do his laundry (and 11 is old enough to be able to do it with supervision - not assistance, but supervision).

    And guess what, when SS had to start doing his own laundry and handle said nastiness, he started changing his underwear every day.  Didnt shower every day until he got teased...but at least he got a bit cleaner.

    file:///Users/Ilumine/Desktop/Family%20Portrait%20for%20gift.jpg
    Report Reply
  • Options
    twister22twister22 member
    Gross. Typical boy.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    wwnbwwwnbw member

    Gross. My SS is 12 and for the longest time it was the SAME thing. I said something to her about it so now she makes him take a bath right before he comes home. DH says it's like sending him to the babysitter for the weekend because she doesn't parent at all but IMO a babysitter would do a better job than she does!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    lax15bsulax15bsu member
    Eh.  It's one weekend.  My 12yo SS just went home last night wearing the same clothes as he came with on Friday evening.  No shower, nothing, and he slept in those clothes each night too. That's pretty typical of him.  He has clothes here, and sometimes he asks to take a shower, but usually he just doesn't care.  I remind DH when I see it happening, but he has to be the one to tell SS.  I have a newborn and a toddler to deal with; I'm not about to treat a 12yo the same as I do my 2yo.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"