Not back to work yet but feeling jealous of caregiver

Re: Not back to work yet but feeling jealous of caregiver

• JuliaSaidYes member

  September 2012

  I'm new here too and heading back to work tomorrow. I can absolutely relate to this. Our son is headed to what people in our city refer to as "the Harvard of daycares" so I know he's in good hands. But yes, I too, am guilty of worrying that he'll grow closer to his teachers than me because he spends all day with them. And I'm already worried/a little jealous that they may see his milestones before we do. No advice for you, but just wanted to say that I can totally relate!

  

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• iverske9 member

  September 2012

  I think this is normal, especially for first time mothers. I reminded myself that I would rather have a caregiver who I love and trust than the opposite. I come from a family where my mother worked and I can tell you I never confused who my mother was from our nanny. I have less guilt because I am still close to my mom today and did not ever resent her, or think anyone else raised me,  etc (all the things you think or make yourself feel guilty about). Just remember that with kids it really is quality over quantity for working moms or SAHMs. Good luck and I hope the transition gets easier

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• honeybee111 member

  September 2012

  I had similar feelings for a little bit, but remember, you WANT your child to bond to the caregiver.  I wouldn't want my DD to spend 8 hours a day with someone she didn't love and trust.  We've had our nanny for 2+ years(so my daughter has bonded with her A LOT), and trust me, no one replaces mom.  The screech of "Mommy home!" and a hug when I walk through the door.........nothing beats that.

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• laurakaz13 member

  September 2012

  They will NEVER think of their nanny as mom over you.  NEVER.  You want them to feel safe, happy and loved by their caregiver and other people in general.  It's called life.  

  It is a wonderful thing when your child is loved by so many people!  You will get over these feelings and realize they are silly. 

  

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• KathrynMD member

  September 2012

  more people to love your child is never a bad thing.

  Your LOs will never confuse who's Mom.  You are/will be mom, all day, every day for the rest of their lives - the nanny may get hugs and smiles, but you're mom forever. 

  

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• emilyec1 member

  October 2012

  Thanks ladies! I really appreciate the support. This is a great board and looking forward to spending more time here!

  

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• azuremama

  October 2012

  I think it's very normal to feel that way and I was a little nervous about it when I went back with DS.  Having been through it twice now, though, I can say that it seems utterly ridiculous that I ever worried about it.  If you are lucky, your children will love and bond with the nanny but it just will not come anywhere close to the relationship they will have with you.  It is just entirely different.  Seriously, do not worry about it.

  

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