Canadian Thanksgiving is next weekend. Last year we hosted it at our place for DH's family and it was fun. We thought that maybe we could do it again and have brought it up a few times over the past few months. Each time, we were brushed off. So eventually we said oh well, we'll go to my parents for Thanksgiving (they live 7 hours away). Perfect. Problem solved.
Two days ago I get an email from SIL asking if we were free to do Thanksgiving with their family on the 13th, the week after Thanksgiving since it worked better for everyone else. She also said that they would have it at their place since they just had a baby 2 weeks ago and it was too much work to have to pack up diapers, blankets, bibs, etc etc. And yes, she said all that. Thanks for rubbing it in SIL that you have 2u2. It annoyed me but oh well, we said yes.
Fast forward to this morning, DH is checking FB and sees that SIL and BIL took their 1 yo and 2 week old baby to a big zoo, 2 hours away, for the whole day yesterday. He says, "they can't pack up stuff to come here for Thanksgiving but they can pack stuff for a day at the zoo?". Good point DH. Now I'm really really annoyed at them. Would this bug you too?
Re: Would this annoy you too? (long and baby mentioned)
Holy hell, yes! How far away are they from you? If you're closer to them than the zoo was, than it's obvious that they're using their children as an excuse to get out of things they don't feel like doing. I'm sure it is a pain in the ass to cart your kids places. Suck it up. If you can cart your 2u2 around the freaking zoo all day, you can bring them to Thanksgiving.
Also, maybe this is just me because I've never raised any babies, but who brings a newborn baby to a dirty-ass zoo?
I would be pissed too, Jenn. And I probably wouldn't bite my tongue either, but I usually don't...
Sorry she was so insensitive in her reply as well by rubbing in all her baby stuff.
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So lost.
Thank you for helping justify my feelings.
We are about 40 minutes away while the zoo is probably 2+ hours. It just really really irks me. She stated that their house is more centrally located and convenient for all the family to come to.
I wish I were brave enough to say something but I feel like I'm already the bad guy and no matter what I do or say will be twisted to work against me. So I will just stay silent.
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Absolutely that would annoy me. I realize that plans may need to be modified when there's babies involved, but often times I see/catch people using them as excuses so they don't have to be honest about what they really want to do. Something similar JUST happened to us.
Exactly. I was being all nice and understanding until the zoo incident. Now I have no sympathy whatsoever. And I'm sorry that you're going through a similar thing right now. It sucks.
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TTC Again May 2014
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I love your support. She has hosted for her DH's family but not our side. We're not a huge group but still, I thought like you too. I would prefer to pack some baby stuff and just show up than have to clean and cook and take care of my two kids. But I bet you MIL will show up early and do everything for her.
And unfortunately, that side of the the family doesn't drink. So no wine for me.
BFP #1 07/04/10. EDD 03/14/11. Missed m/c 08/09/10. D&C 09/27/10. }Casey & Jaimie{
TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
TTA for 7 months
Jan-Mar 2014 - RPL, SHG, karotyping: all results normal
TTC Again May 2014
Progesterone & baby aspirin combo for 5 cycles - All BFN's
SA with DNA fragmentation = Perfect results
Diagnostic cycle monitoring = Polycystic ovaries leading to premature egg release
TTA Oct 2014 - Jan 2015
Jan 2015 - Medicated cycle with timed intercourse
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I'm super tempted to comment on the zoo pictures saying she must have had to pack an awful lots of diapers, blankets, sippy cups etc etc. But I won't. Because it would cause an uproar and hurt DH. And since I love him a lot, I'll play nice.
BFP #1 07/04/10. EDD 03/14/11. Missed m/c 08/09/10. D&C 09/27/10. }Casey & Jaimie{
TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
TTA for 7 months
Jan-Mar 2014 - RPL, SHG, karotyping: all results normal
TTC Again May 2014
Progesterone & baby aspirin combo for 5 cycles - All BFN's
SA with DNA fragmentation = Perfect results
Diagnostic cycle monitoring = Polycystic ovaries leading to premature egg release
TTA Oct 2014 - Jan 2015
Jan 2015 - Medicated cycle with timed intercourse
My Blog: The Canadian Housewife PGAL/PAL Welcome My Chart
I second you saying something to your complainer of a SIL! Or skip it all together. I support either decision.
I'm still keeping everything crossed that you get a wonderful surprise next weekend with that beta.
BFP #1 07/04/10. EDD 03/14/11. Missed m/c 08/09/10. D&C 09/27/10. }Casey & Jaimie{
TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
TTA for 7 months
Jan-Mar 2014 - RPL, SHG, karotyping: all results normal
TTC Again May 2014
Progesterone & baby aspirin combo for 5 cycles - All BFN's
SA with DNA fragmentation = Perfect results
Diagnostic cycle monitoring = Polycystic ovaries leading to premature egg release
TTA Oct 2014 - Jan 2015
Jan 2015 - Medicated cycle with timed intercourse
My Blog: The Canadian Housewife PGAL/PAL Welcome My Chart
Also, since I have no baby, I am always asked to help clean up EVERY time since I'm 'just sitting there', never mind the fact that I am visiting. I do this while the moms sit with their babies and the dads sit and watch the moms hold their babies.
LOL, do it!
Yup. Freaking annoying and inconsiderate. It would be different if she had said, "I would love to cook dinner and think it should be rotated through the family." But she didn't. Stupid b!tch.
I'm irritated for you.
Poop on that! Who says you can't have something shiny, bedazzled, and flask like in your car?
Who the fluck goes 2 hours to anywhere with a 2 week old baby? What was she thinking "Well, I've just stop bleeding (if she even has stopped), let me walk a ton around a zoo to see if I can make start again"?
But, if she wants to use the baby as an excuse, let her host and watch the choas. I'd bring my own wine. She'll learn really quick that carting the kids around is 100% easier.
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Sounds like you need a fun flask! My sister pulls the same crap all the time, and my mother is always very quick to back her up. If I hear it will just be easier one more time, I may scream. I better end of pregnant soon, or I will be bombed the entire holiday season.
I seriously hate this for you. I would have a very hard time holding my tongue about their little zoo excursion, but I understand that sometimes you just need to keep the peace.
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♥♡♥ PAL/PGAL welcome♥♡♥I'd be annoyed! My brother and SIL have 3 kids (5,4,and 3) and ever since they were itty bitty they've made excuses about why they can't do this or that with family, stating its "so hard with little ones". All I hear is blah, blah, blah. They are my nephew and nieces, I want to see them. They live 5 minutes away and I barely know them. We all get together every Saturday night for dinner, they are outnumbered 3 adults for every one child. Wouldn't that make for the perfect excuse to enjoy yourself and let us spend some time with the kids?! But instead they have an excuse about something.
But then my DH's sister is a single mom, dad is only in the picture about one week a YEAR, she's got a 5 and 7 year old, the 5 year old is type 1 diabetic and there is always a ton to pack and plan but yet they are always up for anything! So to me, the excuses don't work. I've seen it work with a single mom with a special needs child, so to me there is no excuse!
I get that a newborn is different than older kids but it still sounds like its just coming down to only doing what THEY want and not worrying about everyone else! I don't get it. Sorry they are being insensitive jerks!
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Don't worry, I'm annoyed with everything she does too and it's mostly because she has 2u2. And partly because she just isn't my favourite person around.
BFP #1 07/04/10. EDD 03/14/11. Missed m/c 08/09/10. D&C 09/27/10. }Casey & Jaimie{
TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
TTA for 7 months
Jan-Mar 2014 - RPL, SHG, karotyping: all results normal
TTC Again May 2014
Progesterone & baby aspirin combo for 5 cycles - All BFN's
SA with DNA fragmentation = Perfect results
Diagnostic cycle monitoring = Polycystic ovaries leading to premature egg release
TTA Oct 2014 - Jan 2015
Jan 2015 - Medicated cycle with timed intercourse
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Better yet, just fill my not see through water bottle. That way no one will ask what my flask is doing there.
BFP #1 07/04/10. EDD 03/14/11. Missed m/c 08/09/10. D&C 09/27/10. }Casey & Jaimie{
TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
TTA for 7 months
Jan-Mar 2014 - RPL, SHG, karotyping: all results normal
TTC Again May 2014
Progesterone & baby aspirin combo for 5 cycles - All BFN's
SA with DNA fragmentation = Perfect results
Diagnostic cycle monitoring = Polycystic ovaries leading to premature egg release
TTA Oct 2014 - Jan 2015
Jan 2015 - Medicated cycle with timed intercourse
My Blog: The Canadian Housewife PGAL/PAL Welcome My Chart
Totally annoying. UGH! I get frustrated with my sister, who dumps off my nephew and niece whenever possible and only "comes to visit" or invites us for a "visit" when she needs some free babysitting. My SIL isn't so bad, but she also turns EVERYTHING into being about the kids. DH and I were excited to announce our pregnancy to the family (pre-miscarriage, obviously) and she wouldn't let us, because the kids were there, and she didn't "want to have to explain it."
I vote for going, and sitting on your ass, and totally making up some equally ridiculous excuse for not helping. And I TOTALLY support the idea of covert alcohol. Indeed! (Margarita + Coffee Mug = Mugarita!)
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