Let me rephrase this question since I seem to have confused some people. If your spouse "facebook friended" an ex girlfriend or an ex sex partner would you be ok with it? If this girl was in your spouses "mutual friend" circle would you be afraid to say something in fear that his friends would think your trying to control who he can be friends with? What are your views on this issue?
[Poll]
Re: DO you care what your husbands friends think?
Our family blog
But, to answer your question, I wouldn't care. I'm very confident in my marriage and in my husband's integrity....and I speak as someone who was HORRIBLY cheated on by my ex husband.
To your original question- no, I don't much care what my DH's friends think. In that, I wouldn't change myself for them or whatever.
I am friends with exes on facebook and so is DH. I didn't "let" him friend them so they didn't think I was controlling toward him. He friended them because he is still friends with them - same reason I am friends with some of my exes on facebook. No big deal to us. Neither one of us is threatened in any way. In our relationship, we can never understand why this is such an issue for others.
Im sorry you were confused by the poll question. I don't know how to simplify "would you be ok if your husband added an ex sex partner on facebook" I suppose if your answer required circumstantial information your best option would be answer B.
You are confused because you are assuming I am referencing this post to my personal life in which I am not. Im just asking a latter of questions to see how another wife (or husband) would react in the event that an ex added their spouse on facebook. You do know that facebook is slowly becoming the number one reason of divorces now a days right?
LOL, I'm with NandaB in terms of being confused right now.
To answer the question in the subject, no, I don't care what my husband's friends think. After all this time, his friends are my friends at this point.
BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
https://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2011/mar/08/facebook-us-divorces
Im sorry andrewsgirl...what was that?
To answer you question, No I'm not looking for advice. I don't think I mentioned I was in my post? This board is not just so that people can come on and complain about their lives and people can sit back and give advice they wouldnt take themselves. I wanted to ask a legit question to see what people thought on something that seems to be becoming an issue in our society. I dont understand why you are getting all up in arms about it?
Nvm, thank you for your vote
Well, I am friends with an ex on FB so I can't really be a hypocrite
As long as there isn't any inappropriate PMing or wall posts, then I don't see a big deal.
ETA: Clearly I should have read through all the responses first. This thread is crazycakes. Also, I'm going to wager that if facebook caused your divorce, your problems were bigger than a stupid comment on someone's status update.
This seems like a weird question if it means nothing personal to you at all. You were very specific in your 1st question for it to be just random. ie.. she isn't an ex, they just slept together.. it's a family facebook page not his personal.. and then the wife is the one who accepted the request and may or may not say something inappropriate? As for people not always posting to complain or ask for advice.. I disagree because that is mostly what this board is for. There are few random questions that don't at least partially pertain to the original posters lives.
To answer your question(s).. I don't care who DH is friends with on facebook, especially if it were a family facebook because you would obviously be reading everything.. no private messages or whatever. Both DH and I have multiple ex's we are still friends with on fb and in life. I trust him enough to not worry about it.
W : 01.11.13
#3 : due 11.02.15
W : 01.11.13
#3 : due 11.02.15
Not specific enough for some. Thanks for the vote
Crappy marriages are the reason for divorces. FB might highlight that, but with or without FB, marriages will fail if they're bad.
Bc I get ALL my news from the Guardian.
I voted that I do not care. And it isn't facebook...it's the people in the marriage. Adults need to quit blaming their problems on technology and damn websites. F*cking up your marriage? Fix it..don't b*tch about it.
I was going to add an ETA similar to this but I'm too lazy to read the rest of the posts so I'll just did Que's.
#1: This post is hilarious.
#2: I don't care if my H is friends with an ex,on FB or IRL. A woman that he dated and stayed friendly with was actually a guest at our wedding. I am confident enough in my marriage and our relationship to not worry about who he is friends with and would not say anything because I trust him. I am friends w/ an ex on FB as well and DH trusts me. It goes both ways.
#3: I agree that shiity marriages = divorce, not FB. That is just ridiculous. FB just makes it easier for the cheater to get caught because you leave a trail (same with texts and emails).
Is it the ex he has the kid with?
I don't think you're quite understanding what you're quoting. Evidence from FB being used in divorce proceedings =/= facebook being the cause of your divorce.. Correlation does not equal causation.
Read this from your article:
The overall rate of divorce, however, appears to be unaffected by the advent of social networking. The most recent published data ? from 2009 ? shows the overall divorce rate declining, slightly more slowly than the shrinking percentage of Americans who get married every year.
To answer your original question, I would allow my DH to friend someone who he dated in the past but not because of what his friends think--because I trust him. On the contrary, I think being crazy possessive and insecure is a bigger marriage wrecker than allowing a former fling to "like" a few of his facebook comments.
More details we don't know?
She's a troll.
Posted a story on BF about how her SO wants to give up his parental rights to a child with his ex.
If you are going to "accuse" me of being a troll at least have accurate information. That post said nothing about my SO giving up a child. I asked if anyone or their spouses had been in that situation and how they handled it or how they helped their spouse handle it. You can repost it on here if you'd like...