5 Things Thursday — The Bump
Dads & Dads-to-be

5 Things Thursday

1) How did your wife/fiance/girlfriend tell you that you were going to be a dad? (if you didn't black out and forget the moment lol)

 

2) What was your honest 1st reaction?

 

3) Non-baby related: Favorite football team?  How they doing?

 

4 and 5 are you.

Re: 5 Things Thursday

  • 1) How did your wife/fiance/girlfriend tell you that you were going to be a dad? (if you didn't black out and forget the moment lol)e

    We were actively trying, so it wasn't like it was a surprise.  We had a lost pregnancy before and she used the home test with the lines, the first one (we lost) was very faint, but this time the line was MUCH stronger, but she came out smiling, but asked me to check in case she was seeing things.  This last time, she snuck the pregnancy test in without telling me she was taking it.  She came out waving the test and I asked her if she was going to take it... she said she already did and was smiling so big I knew what it said.

    2) What was your honest 1st reaction?

    For the first, it was pure joy.  Second one was joy mixed with concern, because we had just came off the loss of our first and was worried we'd go through a loss again.  Third one, we got pregnant the first try, so a bit of shock, and some "OMG, I'm gonna have two", along with a great deal of joy.

    3) Non-baby related: Favorite football team?  How they doing?

    College would be Notre Dame (my great-uncle was Knute Rockne's last starting halfback)... they are doing better than I expected.  Pro team is the Colts.  The last game was a disappointment, losing to the Jags on that last second 80 yard TD, but I was figuring on only about 6 wins this year max, so it isn't like I have super high expectations this season.

    4) One week from today we find out if #2 is a boy or a girl.  If it is a girl, we've been keeping the name secret from our families and will finally reveal her name to them (named after both living great-grandmothers).

    5) My son must have either eaten something that didn't agree with him, or got a stomach bug on Sunday because we had about 2 hours of what I lovingly refer to as "gastrointestinal pyrotechnics"... or vomiting.  Normally I'm a BIG sympathy vomiter... when my wife dry heaves, it makes me want to throw up.  With this, I think knowing that I had to take care of it (would have made my wife throw up with her m/s, which unfortunately hasn't left even though she's in her 2nd tri), I didn't get sick at all.

  • 1) How did your wife/fiance/girlfriend tell you that you were going to be a dad? (if you didn't black out and forget the moment lol)  I came home from work and took a shower. Put on a pair of gym shorts and t-shirt to lounge around in. Was watching TV and my wife was being particulately.. bitchy lol.. to me. Finally, I just asked "what is wrong with you?" And she just burst into tears and told me she was pregnant lol. I asked her if she had taken the test and she showed me the + lol.

    2) What was your honest 1st reaction? "OMFG ASDJHFJGJKDLGBJKGJGBHJFD" That about sums it up. We were not planning on having kids. My wife was on antibiotics a few weeks before for something for her tooth and apparently antibiotics can mess with BC... oops. Our bad. I looked at the + and I told her to bring me the instruction manual for the pregnancy test. And I spent literally 7-8 minutes comparing the window of the test to the pictures on the manual trying to decode the thing just to make sure. Well, then I convinced myself that one of the lines on the + was kinda faint.. so I ran to Walmart and got the ones that say "Pregnant" and "Not Pregnant". She took 2 of them that night and 1 the next morning... all read "Pregnant".

     

    3) Non-baby related: Favorite football team?  How they doing? I love the Tennessee Vols. I love NCAA over NFL. Anyway, they are .. still on the fence. We had high hopes coming into this season with Tyler Bray under center, and Da'Rick Rogers and Justin Hunter coming back- plus we signed Juco receiver Cordarrelle Patterson. Well, Rogers gets dismissed from the team. But we still have 2 elite receivers so we thing we have a good chance. Did well against NC State. Ga St was no contest. Florida rolls around- we really thought we were going to end the 7 game streak. We were winning in the 3rd quarter. They get a big play off and Tennessee just collapses. It literally looked like they quit. Coach Derek Dooley, in his head coaching career at ANY school, has NEVER won against a ranked team. He has never won a game while being tied or losing at the half... until last weekend. He was tied with Akron and ended up winning (I was at the game). But. come on. It was Akron. They go down to Athens this weekend and have a big SEC matchup against Georgia. Pulling for the upset. Praying for it- or Braying for it if you will ;)

    4) We are going to buy paint tomorrow and start the nursery this weekend. We are going with a light lilac color purple for the walls. And we are going with a Winnie the Pooh theme.

    5) I am doing well trying to lose some weight. When my wife got pregnant we went on a binge and her cravings now (midnight brownies she has to make lol) have made it hard. But I have lost 2-3 lbs a week consistently for 4 weeks now. I have always struggled losing weight but now with a daughter coming- I don't want to die young from health problems due to my weight. I don't want to be the Dad who can't play with my kid. I am nowhere near being like this now- but as I get older, I realize it can only be worse. So before I eat the cookie or cake or Large fries and giant burger.. I just think about what kind of Dad I want to be. It is the biggest motivator I have had my entire life to get healthy. At this rate, I should be down about 40 lbs total once my daughter gets here.

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  • imageColtsdad:

    3) Non-baby related: Favorite football team?  How they doing?

    College would be Notre Dame

    They actually look really good this year. I was surprised how they stifled Michigan and Michigan St. I'll be pulling for you guys! :)

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  • 1) How did your wife/fiance/girlfriend tell you that you were going to be a dad? (if you didn't black out and forget the moment lol)

    I came home to her handing me a present.  in it was a newborn outfit. 

     

    2) What was your honest 1st reaction?

    I was excited.  We had only just started trying, I just didn't realize it would happen so fast.

     

    3) Non-baby related: Favorite football team?  How they doing?

    Penn State.  Right now, as good as can be expected.  I'll be happy with a .500 season this year, but even that might be a reach. However, I can barely contain myself knowing they start hockey this year AND are coming to Madison.

     

    4.)  I can't wait to do a few 5ks this fall, but not excited about running in the cold.

    5.)  I really want to get a weight bench in the basement, but not sure if we have room.  I'm still trying to organize things in my head so I can fit it in.

     

    there are two motivations in sports, which is yours?
  • 1) How did your wife/fiance/girlfriend tell you that you were going to be a dad? (if you didn't black out and forget the moment lol)
    We learned together the morning of.  We were tracking and pretty much knew already, but there is still nothing like seeing that stick with a + on it!

     

    2) What was your honest 1st reaction?
    Tears of joy, followed by severe nervousness because we had lost our first at 9 weeks. I knew the next couple months would be very, very long waiting to get out of the first trimester. I did everything different!!

     

    3) Non-baby related: Favorite football team? How they doing?
    Green Bay Packers since birth!  We ALL know how they are doing as a result of that circus scene that took place on Monday night. All of you can thank the Green and Gold for the end to the ref strike as a result of the crime that took place at the end of that game. But, being the professional, championship-level organization that they are, they are already focused on the Saints who pull into town Sunday.
    There will be a beatdown at Lambeau Field Sunday afternoon!!! I still believe the league should void that win for the Seahawks and give the victory to GB. I have never seen anything like it, and for Pete Carrol and Tate to walk around like that was a normal, game winning play is an embarassment to the city of Seattle.

    4) My mother and father flew in from California last week and met the grandson for the first time.  I knew I would be touched when my mother first met him, but when my dad held him for the first time it was one of the most special things I can ever recall. It was my old man, me, and my son's old man sitting on the couch together, and I will never forget that.

    5) We are going to start transitioning Jacob from the bassinet that rolls into our room at night to the crib in his room this weekend.  I am really looking forward to it as it will be our first step as parents to get him to be more independent, to a degree, and the boy will finally be in his room. Big step in our household this weekend!

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  • 1) How did your wife/fiance/girlfriend tell you that you were going to be a dad? (if you didn't black out and forget the moment lol)

    Well, we actually started trying in January, with little success.  However, we moved from Syracuse, NY back to New York, NY at the beginning of April for my wife's new job.  Since she was starting a new job, we decided to stop trying for a while.  Since I'm here, y'all know about how well that went :P

    She texted me from work, saying that she could smell someone's dry cheerios from 6 feet away on the subway.  That was her first indication, so she had me go buy a pregnancy test.  She came home, took it, and started shouting some choice cuss words, as the + came pretty quickly.  She took about 4 more tests to be sure.  

     

    2) What was your honest 1st reaction?

    I'm pretty sure my blood pressure spiked.  And then I got excited.

    3) Non-baby related: Favorite football team?  How they doing?

    NFL: Carolina Panthers.  They're 1-2, and they're very inconsistent.  Their defense is healthier this year, but they've got a lot of rookies, so there's a lot of rookie mistakes.

    College: USC Gamecocks.  They'r currently 4-0, and playing well.  They're a fun team to watch.

    4) I passed the interview last week, and I passed my medical exam today, so as long as my background check clears, I should hopefully have a job soon.  I'm excited, because even though I've been doing the brunt of the housekeeping/cooking/food shopping and whatnot, I am really looking forward to being able to get out of the apartment.

    5) My family is having a hard time understanding that my wife doesn't want a baby shower.  She was raised Jewish, and I converted before we married, and Jews don't do baby showers.  There's a concept called a Kinehora, which is essentially a jinx, so we don't buy anything baby related until after it's born. We've told them that, if they want to go ahead and buy something for the baby, they are free to do so as long as they keep it until she's born.  This seems to have made the situation a little better, so that's good.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • 1) How did your wife/fiance/girlfriend tell you that you were going to be a dad? (if you didn't black out and forget the moment lol)

    She crept out of bed one morning to take a test.  She came out of the bathroom and woke me saying "May sounds like a good time to have a baby."

    2) What was your honest 1st reaction?

    It took me a few moments to wake up enough to process what she was saying.  Once it clicked I had a smile from ear to ear and pulled her back into the bed...

    3) Non-baby related: Favorite football team?  How they doing?

    College is Ohio State and Cincinnati.  Both are undefeated so far this year, but it's hard to get a read on how good they can really be.  Both have big games this weekend.  OSU goes to Michigan State and Cincinnati "hosts" Virginia Tech in Maryland.

    Pro team is the Browns.  They haven't been great.  The defense has been great at times and I've like what I saw out of Trent Richardson.

    4) It seemed like I was finally out of the woods with having to do overtime at work, but this week has hit me hard again.  I guess overtime is going to be on and off at least until November. Tomorrow I am taking the GRE.  I will hopefully start on my masters this winter and improve the situation at work.

    5) We have our next u/s scheduled for next Wednesday.  It has been a struggle this week to keep my wife from freaking out over every little thing.  Since our loss the situation is even more delicate.


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  • imageWillicus:


    5) My family is having a hard time understanding that my wife doesn't want a baby shower.  She was raised Jewish, and I converted before we married, and Jews don't do baby showers.  There's a concept called a Kinehora, which is essentially a jinx, so we don't buy anything baby related until after it's born. We've told them that, if they want to go ahead and buy something for the baby, they are free to do so as long as they keep it until she's born.  This seems to have made the situation a little better, so that's good.

    Couldn't you do a post baby, baby shower?  I've heard of it before.

  • imageColtsdad:
    imageWillicus:


    5) My family is having a hard time understanding that my wife doesn't want a baby shower.  She was raised Jewish, and I converted before we married, and Jews don't do baby showers.  There's a concept called a Kinehora, which is essentially a jinx, so we don't buy anything baby related until after it's born. We've told them that, if they want to go ahead and buy something for the baby, they are free to do so as long as they keep it until she's born.  This seems to have made the situation a little better, so that's good.

    Couldn't you do a post baby, baby shower?  I've heard of it before.

     

    That's something we're definitely thinking about doing.  I come from a pretty WASP-y family, so the idea of not having a baby shower is kind of weird for them.  But they'll get over it once Mrs. Willicus gives birth and they see how awesome my kid is :)

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageWillicus:
    imageColtsdad:
    imageWillicus:


    5) My family is having a hard time understanding that my wife doesn't want a baby shower.  She was raised Jewish, and I converted before we married, and Jews don't do baby showers.  There's a concept called a Kinehora, which is essentially a jinx, so we don't buy anything baby related until after it's born. We've told them that, if they want to go ahead and buy something for the baby, they are free to do so as long as they keep it until she's born.  This seems to have made the situation a little better, so that's good.

    Couldn't you do a post baby, baby shower?  I've heard of it before.

     

    That's something we're definitely thinking about doing.  I come from a pretty WASP-y family, so the idea of not having a baby shower is kind of weird for them.  But they'll get over it once Mrs. Willicus gives birth and they see how awesome my kid is :)

    How your family practices your faith is no one's business but your family's. I applaud you for sticking to yuor guns and not letting the pressure dictate your decision.  The miracle is in your child's birth, not in how your family celebrates it.

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  • It'll still be a baby shower, just the baby is already here.  Probably not the best idea to actually have the baby present, as the large group of people will bring a mass of germs upon your newborn's still forming immune system, so the only thing that will be missing from the baby shower is your wife's pregnant belly, and frankly depending on how soon after you have it, she may still look somewhat pregnant (it takes a little bit for everything to shrink back to normal).
  • imageColtsdad:
    so the only thing that will be missing from the baby shower is your wife's pregnant belly, and frankly depending on how soon after you have it, she may still look somewhat pregnant (it takes a little bit for everything to shrink back to normal).

    What are you tryin to say?  LOL

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  • imagepolooo26:
    imageonlymeggan:

    imageColtsdad:
    so the only thing that will be missing from the baby shower is your wife's pregnant belly, and frankly depending on how soon after you have it, she may still look somewhat pregnant (it takes a little bit for everything to shrink back to normal).

    What are you tryin to say?  LOL

    I think that was his way of telling you he is going to make you some food.

    LOL  good answer. Seriously, I know my hubby thinks I'm beautiful.  (museum boobs n all)  I'm going to let you men have your board back but thank you for letting me invade for a bit today.  You guys are all awesome dads and dads-to-be.

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  • imageonlymeggan:
    imagepolooo26:
    imageonlymeggan:

    imageColtsdad:
    so the only thing that will be missing from the baby shower is your wife's pregnant belly, and frankly depending on how soon after you have it, she may still look somewhat pregnant (it takes a little bit for everything to shrink back to normal).

    What are you tryin to say?  LOL

    I think that was his way of telling you he is going to make you some food.

    LOL  good answer. Seriously, I know my hubby thinks I'm beautiful.  (museum boobs n all)  I'm going to let you men have your board back but thank you for letting me invade for a bit today.  You guys are all awesome dads and dads-to-be.

     

    Drop by anytime.

    Although I think you should have participated in our 5TT :)

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  • They also have what is called a "sip and see". It's basically an after the birth baby shower with drinks! 
    ***Loss and success mentioned***
    Me:34, Wife: 32
    IF reasoning = MFI: Zero Sperm Count using FairFax donor bank
    IUI #1 - #3: 2011 = BFN
    IVF: 2011 = BFN, lost all 10 embryos (with C/Ps)
    Jan 2014 - OBGYN (not RE) found and removed wife's "field of" uterine polyps after failed IVF

    Moving on to surrogacy (actually a planned adoption)
    Surrogate IUI#1: 7.17.12 = BFP!! 15dpiui = 256, 17dpiui = 346
    Oliver Zane born - 3/29/2013 on Good Friday!

    IUI #4 - #6: 2014-2015 = BFN (with C/Ps)
    Switch sperm donors, start ketosis diet to reduce inflammation late 2015
    IVF 2: Jan and Feb 2016, 3 great looking, 8 cell 3 day embryos. Two ET, one frozen
    2.18.2016 (8dp3dt) = BFFP!
    2.22.2016 (12dp3dt) = 649!!

    Started foster care experience in 2012. Now waiting to adopt our foster daughter, 7, who has lived with us for 3 years. 


    "Wait for your God, and don't give up on Him - ever!" Hosea 12:6 (msg)

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  • 1) How did your wife/fiance/girlfriend tell you that you were going to be a dad? (if you didn't black out and forget the moment lol)

    My wife and I stop trying after a few stressful months...but we were in Chicago visiting my old college and taking in some 17 degree weather (we live in LA) and she told me we might not be able to enjoy the hotel stay (wink-wink) like I wanted...well, when "that" never came we enjoyed the bed and she decided something was up, so she took a pregnancy test and the rest is....well, breastfeeding right now in the next room.

    2) What was your honest 1st reaction?

    Honestly, after trying for a few months I didn't want to know...I wanted her to not discuss it until we had our first OB appointment so I could control the situation. That appointment was 4 weeks away from her telling me and it was tough to get through the wait and confirmation.

    3) Non-baby related: Favorite football team?  How they doing?

    I'm not a hardcore football fan, but I'm from St. Louis and all stats aside, I love the Rams. Saw my first game last season, two rows from the green thanks to some awesome vendors who do promotions for me. The Rams took the SuperBowl in 1999, which was my first year in undergrad and it was awesome being from a winning city. 2001 was a different story....but we won't discuss.

    4) Tomorrow is my last day in the office and then I'm taking 3 weeks off to stay at home with the wife and kid. I'm really looking forward to it. Work hasn't been my favorite lately, hoping some time off will give me clarity and next steps as far what I want to do next. 

    5) On a personal note, fellas...send some positive thoughts my way. The wife and I are getting use to this parent thing and we are still learning how to communicate to one another over how to handle the little one. She needs me to do things her way or at least in a way that makes her feel comfortable and I need her tone to change and to be respectful in matters that there is no right or wrong. It's been a week, I know things take time, but I'm hoping sooner than later. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • David, it does take an adjustment, throw in the complete and total lack of quality sleep (or in some cases ANY sleep) and it can be trying right away.  Once you settle into a routine and she realizes you aren't going to harm the child (her mothering instinct hit an all time high as soon as your son took his first breath on his own) by doing it your way, or adapting your own version of hers, things settle down.
  • imageDavidStamps:

    5) On a personal note, fellas...send some positive thoughts my way. The wife and I are getting use to this parent thing and we are still learning how to communicate to one another over how to handle the little one. She needs me to do things her way or at least in a way that makes her feel comfortable and I need her tone to change and to be respectful in matters that there is no right or wrong. It's been a week, I know things take time, but I'm hoping sooner than later. 

    Welcome to the club, my friend!!!  You are now officially a father and a husband.

    We went through the EXACT SAME THING when we got home from the hospital....one of our worst fights ever, actually. As recently this past weekend we threw down big time.

    Communication is where it is at.  Now she is at least calming down on me on how I take care of the boy. We have different ways of doing things, and she is now starting to see that my way works too. But we have really had to focus on the communication at almost the micro-level. Emotions are running high, sleep is a fleeting dream at times, and we both are so focued on the boy we sometimes forget to focus on us, as a husband and wife.

    So we have started to be more aware of the words that come out of our mouths.  If one of us feels hurt, we communicate that in that moment, and regardless of what the other person feels about it, they apologize for hurting the other.  Baby steps basically, as if we are starting over, even though we are nowhere near that point.  But we have been more aware of how we treat each other outside of our roles father and mother.  We are still husband and wife, and that work does not stop just because we had a kid.

    I think we are starting to learn that now....that while we both love our child with everything we have, at the end of the day, my wife is still the most important person in my world. Our son is a product of that, but we are no good as parents if we are not healthy in our marriage first.  Things are starting to get better, and that is because we recognize that we still have to work at our marriage even as we learn to be parents.

    I'll repeat something that my wife shared with me the other day as we were battling.  She is going through a transformation that is hard for us, as men, to understand. She will never be the women she has been up until this point anymore, and she is somewhat in mourning about that. Even though she loves being a mother, she is sad that she will never be that woman she has been up to this point, and it is going to take some time to work that out.

    I can understand that on some level.

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  • 1 How did your wife/fiance/girlfriend tell you that you were going
    to be a dad? if you didn't black out and forget the moment lol. Kind of forget. I think she just told me after taking a test at home.
    2 What was your honest 1st reaction? There was definitely an oh *** reaction right away followed very closely with happiness
    3 Nonbaby related: Favorite football team? How they doing? I like the wolverines. They have not put things together this year and are extremely exciting/frustrating to watch. Hopefully they can bring home the B1G championship. They for sure have the skill to do so.
    4. I was just feeling my baby have the hiccups in utero.
    5. Nothing to see here
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