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Preemies
new here-preemie twins and feeling so sad and guilty :(
Hi all
I delivered my twins at 35 weeks exactly.. The short version is baby A spent 7 days in NICU and Baby B is still in NICU. DH and I are taking turns going back and forth to the hospital but it's so gut wrenching to leave her there by herself and then come home to only one.
I already feel bad that I couldn't have a full term pregnancy-maybe I should have done less? stressed less, etc... I can't shake the guilty feeling that I did this.
In the grand scheme of things, it could be worse... Baby B should be coming home tomorrow as it will be one full week without any breathing episodes (apnea) and she's eating better. Its just hard to juggle because Im bonding with one and not the other... and we're so exhausted. Im sure it will get easier.. it's just hard to see through the fog right now..
How did you ever come to terms with.. or stop blaming yourself for an early delivery?
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Re: new here-preemie twins and feeling so sad and guilty :(
Peanut Butter and Jelly!
<a href="http://s568.photobucket.com/albums/ss122/AliceNP/?action=view
I still have good and bad days. Some days I blame myself for their early birth and other times I blame myself for breast feeding not working out. On the good days I remind myself that my boys are thriving and I did a damn good job with what we were given. I will also be starting counseling soon.
Congratulations on the birth of your babies. I would be so proud to carry twins to 35 weeks. Praying that baby B is home with you real soon.
You should be incredibly proud that you carried them to 35. It sounds like they are doing wonderfully.
The guilt lessens over time. I just try to always be grateful that I delivered at a point where my daughter survived and is relatively healthy.
You carried 2 to 35 weeks, in my mind you did twice the work I did carrying mine to 35 weeks.
I don't have guilt about having her early arrival most likely because she did pretty well. I am still grieving over the loss of 4 more weeks of carrying her. I really miss being pregnant. I was finally off bed rest and feeling great, I was going to go back to work and get to meet my new students, had more things to get ready, and a wedding to attend... she didn't seem to agree.
The first few weeks were rough, but now that she is breast feeding and going 4 hours at night I feel like a huge weight has lifted. Her due date is this Saturday and DH and I are excited to celebrate that milestone.
Celebrate the good things and don't stress the small things.
Thoughts and prayers for Baby B!
I don't post here often but I had a similar situation. My twin girls were born early (there was some debate as to whether I was 33w6d or 35w1d since the MFM moved up my due date). They spent 18 and 20 days in the NICU. My baby B also had issues with apnea and spent over 4 days on the CPAP. She was home 2 days after her sister and I only held her once for a minute while she was on CPAP. I felt the same way as you.
It does get better and you will bond with them both. My girls have very different personalities and I know that I know them better than anyone. They are now happy, healthy 9 month olds! The fog does lift. You carried them to 35 weeks and that is fantastic! It took me a while to stop the guilt but you will. Last night we brought them back to NICU for a reunion and it was such a good feeling to go there and show off how wonderful they are doing! Hang in there!
Congratulations on your babies! I think all of your feelings are completely normal, but truly, carrying twins to 35 weeks is REALLY an accomplishment. Try to be proud of yourself for how long you kept them cooking instead of comparing with what could have been.
Twin parents amaze me. That's a whole lot of baby to have inside you. I hope your LO comes home very soon!