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April 2012 Moms
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How do I say "No" politely?

beth6287beth6287 member
in April 2012 Moms

I have had 3 different people ask me for Noah's hand me downs....first off I think it is just weird to ask someone for their kids clothes. Secondly, I am planning on having a second baby eventually so I would like to keep his clothes in case I have another boy.

So now my daycare provider (home daycare) sent me a message saying she noticed Noah moved up a size in his clothes and that she would like any of his 6-9 month clothes for her son (same age). I wouldn't mind her borrowing them if i got them back but how would she keep track of that??

How do I say no without being rude?

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Re: How do I say "No" politely?

  • lauracklaurack
    Hmm that is weird!! Unless you were going around saying you are 100% done having kids. But I would say, just say oh we're packing everything up for the next one! Who knows when that will be! And keep it light.

    I was just thinking.. Someone at work gave me a box of clothes and she may be having another baby at some point. So am I supposed to give the stuff back?! I have no idea what was in what box people gave me!!
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  • I am Marla SingerI am Marla Singer member
    I think you should just be honest and say you are going to save them for the next LO... It's not your job to outfit everyone else's kids... If you let her "borrow" them, you'd probably not get them all back or get them back with stains all over- gross!  I personally would feel weird "borrowing" clothes from someone else because babies are messy and I would feel horrible staining someone else's clothes. I think it's kind of rude for people to ask. If you were offering- that's one thing- but for them to ask... that puts you in a difficult situation, and I'd be rather irritated if I were you.
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  • huahualovehuahualove member
    One of my mom's coworkes asked her if she could just borrow all of my clothes for ds and then give them back... yeah, I think that is so weird. I just tell them that I plan on having several kids and I want to get as much use out of them as I can so I won't be able to let them borrow them. Plus, these people don't realize that babies like to poop all over clothes and could ruin them pretty easily.
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  • Violet28Violet28
    I would find it kind of rude to ask someone to borrow clothing, especially since it can be expensive and you might want to save it for next child. It would be different if you had offered first. I would go through and let her borrow any that you no longer want or didn't like. I did this with my friend who is expecting and is unable to have a shower. If she doesn't like any clothes then I'll just give them to Goodwill. I kept everything I liked or needed most though.
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  • AmyJoy728AmyJoy728 member
    I would say that you are saving them for your next baby. I've been given me hand-me-downs, and I hope no one wanted them back as I couldn't tell you what they gave me..
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  • Musiclover2012Musiclover2012
    Wow the nerve of some people, how rude (says Michelle Tanner from Full House).  So tacky, IMO to ask someone for their outgrown clothing.  I agree with previous posters about keeping it light and just saying you are boxing it all up for the next one.  wow, some people.  They must not realize how much clothing gets ruined and just how easily.  DS keeps staining outfits lately with diaper blow outs.
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  • manchipollardmanchipollard member
    Could you give them a few of your non-fav outfits/onesies and save your absolute favs and/or more gender neutral things? 
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  • FlipFlopGirl32FlipFlopGirl32
    I'm not loaning out any of my baby clothes. I would just be honest and say your are saving them for the next one. If they say they'd give them back, I'd say something like Sorry, they are already boxed in the attic.

    People can be so rude.
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  • livinrealitylivinreality member

    We got some hand me downs from a friend, they had her last name stamped (or tagged them with some kind of iron on tape/patch stuff ??) on them... Being nosey I asked why and after 1st boy she let her sister borrow them, so she stamped/tagged them and her sister sent them back to her plus the ones she bought for my friend's second son... It worked out well for them.  That being said I am not expected to return the clothes she gave.... I love how ds2 will be boy #5 in some of those clothes! 

    I will pass our clothes along when I am done having babies :)  

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  • TucktheTurtleTucktheTurtle member

    "Oh! I'm sorry! My sister/cousin/best friend already called dibs!"

    Done. 

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  • biblionerdbiblionerd member
    Geez, some people are so rude. I've felt a little awkward because BIL and SIL are having a baby boy, but we are also planning on having another kid. We haven't offered and they haven't said anything. Babies/kids are HARD on clothes, either formula/puke stains when they're little or dirt and rips once they start moving around. I don't want to lose any thanks to damage, etc. it's amazing how many clothes have already been ruined one time around, I can't imagine what they look like after 3+ kids. I've wondered why boy clothes 2t and up are nonexistant at yard sales and few at consignment shops, but then I realized I don't think hardly any of Linus' are making it to the next kid! Nobody else has asked me directly, but I would just say "I'm sorry, we're planning on another kid and will be keeping them until then."
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