Team Green ....

HppyMommaOfOne · September 2012

So with our DD my DH really wanted to find out her sex early (although I wanted to wait) ... this time around I REALLY want to wait until birth to found out sex (he wants to find out early again, lol), he is letting me get my way this time. His only concern is PPD. I had it (not sever or life threatening), but in a dazy state of the blues for a while. He is afraid it will be much worse if I don't get the sex I hoped for. He is very strongly hopping for a boy.I'm truly fine with either, as long as their HEALTHY! And I believe its going to be very hard to have any sort of disappointment when they are brand new in your arms, safe.What do you ladies think? If you waited did it really make a difference with your PPD?

emnoahmom · September 2012

Hi there! I am a bit confused. If you are fine with either sex why are you worried about it worsening PPD? Are you afraid that your Dh's disappointment might affect you more? I suffer with a bit of depression regarding gender disappointment. I desperately wanted my dd to have a sister and I have since given her four beautiful brothers. I feel bad all the time that she will never experience growing up with a sister relationship. I was excited to have my first boy but I was convinced my third child would be that sister and he wasn't but got excited calling him Isaac for the rest of the pregnancy and preparing for him. My fourth baby I swayed girl and found out at birth he was a little boy. I had a moment of sadness packing away the little pink outfit and it wasn't until a few months later that it really hit me that Emma wasn't getting a sister and I cried and cried all the time. My last was a surprise and I found out, sure that my symptoms were all "girl". We went to dinner, opened the envelope and it said "Boy!" I cried, quietly over my salad. Three weeks after he was born he caught a really bad virus, RSV, and almost died. On the way to the hospital, with the ambulance behind us I prayed to God, even though I'm not sure I believe in God, to forgive me for being upset that he was a boy at first. A perfect, sweet boy that I was blessed to have. Now he is healthy and silly and I couldn't imagine our family without him in it:)

It's a horrible feeling and people get flamed all the time for having a preference. You already know that you are going to love this baby. Healthy is by far the most important thing, but the loss of a dream isn't something to be ignored either. It's good to recognize and deal with these feelings before hand. As for finding out, it's such a personal decision. If you get a boy, that's fantastic, especially since your husband wants a son so badly. If you get another girl that's fantastic too! I for one, will feel a twinge of jealousy that you were able to give your daughter the gift of a sister, something I was unable to do for my own. I wish you a continued H&H pregnancy and I hope ppd doesn't return for you this time:)

Ardmhs83 · September 2012

We were Team Green with my DS. At first my DH wanted to find out and I didn't. So since it was our first baby and I was the momma...I won and he didn't. lol I am happy with our decision though...it was the best feeling EVER! It was amazing hearing a baby cry (I had a c-section:breech baby) and knowing he/she was ok, but laying there asking, "what is it???" My doctor wouldn't tell me and insisted my husband go and look and have him tell me. My husband comes around the blue sheet holding my son, "it's a boy!" Best moment of my life. :-)

Of course I wanted a girl and DH wanted a boy...that is how it is lots of the time. I was super happy with my son though. Once I saw his face, held him, nursed him and knew he was healthy...that is all that mattered. So glad we did Team Green! The fact that I had a boy instead of a girl had nothing to do with my PPD/PPA.

Next time around...we are finding out though. Basically just to try something different and if it is a boy we are pretty much set, but if not...we will have lots of shopping to do. :-) So we are findingo out, out of convenience. I will say that I will be happy as long as my LO is healthy...I know that is most important. However, I will be a little sad if it isn't a girl. My DH and I both will be. I may even cry a little, but I will get over it quickly b/c I know their are more important things at hand. I think that I will be high risk next time around, no matter what I have...so the girl/boy outcome isn't going to throw me overboard or anything. I actually think it will help me finding out in advance instead of waiting this time.

Good luck with your decision!!

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