Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
theboki
member
Re: How to Reconcile AP and Tummy Time
The point of tummy time is for the child to work on her neck and other muscles. If you are holding her upright, she is working them. And you can lay her tummy to tummy with you on your back - and she'll get some time that way typically babies prefer that.
Honestly, my LO hated tummy time. So we never did it. He never had any issues with his head, in fact he never even got the bald spot so many newborns get from laying on their backs. He was almost always held though - either in arms, or upright in a carrier. He was holding his head up early, and could sit independently at 5m.
IMO letting a newborn lay there and cry on their belly isn't conducive to anything.
Do it on your chest.
Have baby in a carrier a lot. We didn't put much effort into tummy time, but I wore him for hours every day. It gets them off the head (prevents a flat head) and works the core and neck muscles... and baby likes it rather than freaking out.
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This is what we did, or did it in front of a mirror which kept him more occupied. I also never did long periods of tummy time, just a little bit during every awake period.
Although my kid never really minded tummy time.
I put both of my kids on my chest sometimes, too, but I was never big on having prescribed amounts of "tummy time" per day. I think the point is just to not have them flat on their backs or in a bouncy seat, etc. all of their waking hours. That was never an issue for us and both of them progressed just fine.
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All of this is true for me as well except my LO sat indepensently at around 7 months. She is a happy, healthy, busy toddler.
Oh, lord. Where are the AP trolls when you need them? Don't worry so much, I promise that your baby doesn't think you've abandoned her or anything. Sometimes being a parent means you have a sad kid, no matter how closely you align your beliefs to AP principles. Not that letting your kid scream at tummy time is good, but gently getting her to do it is a good idea.
Have you tried putting a rolled up or folded up blanket, or even a pillow under her tummy/chest? Doing that really helped my younger son start to enjoy tummy time. My older son hated it no matter what we did, so we didn't do it, and he ended up with torticollis (and lots of physical therapy).
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
Yes, we do that and she will tolerate it sometimes. She actually already started out with a slight torticollis and has had pt. So the tummy time is very important for her. I just wish she could understand why I'm making her do it. It breaks my heart when she just cries and cries and I just want to pick her up and be done with it.
Thanks, you guys, for all the great suggestions. I will try to incorporate some of this. We do the chest thing a lot, but I'm afraid I don't provide her with a very flat surface, especially if she's going to learn to roll over. She absolutely loves her stroller, but I will try wearing her even more. I don't want to set her behind in physical development, so I really want to make sure she gets her time in. I just don't want it to be traumatic!
Just make sure your kid doesn't spend all day on his back and he will be fine. Don't worry
What just happened in my diaper?!
DS Born: 6/02/2012
Tied the Knot: 11/14/2015
Trying for Number Two since 9/1/15
BFP!!! Baby 2 Due: 12/6/21
Can you ask her PT for ideas? There's also tummy time mats (like this: https://www.amazon.com/Tiny-Love-Tummy-Time-Activity/dp/B0015CA3A4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1348412901&sr=8-1&keywords=tummy+time+mat ), and I've also seen one that's some sort of liquid in a flat mat that they can squish. She's almost 6 months, right? Once they sit up life gets easier, at least in my experience...
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
She does have an activity mat with a little boppy but she still cries on it. I am thinking about trying this one, though:
https://www.amazon.com/Infantino-Right-Angle-Tummy-Triangle/dp/B004Y42682/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_S_nC?ie=UTF8&colid=GRA7XADMM9VZ&coliid=I1JZ8FRQ57HVIE
I don't know anyone who has it or has tried it, though. Hmm. Never heard of that water one. I will look around.
She's four months+ old, but as a preemie her adjusted age right now is about 3.5 months. I am having her sit up a lot with a little assistance, and she is doing great at balancing her head by herself. And she seems to enjoy sitting up. So that's a plus! But put her on her tummy and the screaming ensues.
She does have an activity mat with a little boppy but she still cries on it. I am thinking about trying this one, though:
https://www.amazon.com/Infantino-Right-Angle-Tummy-Triangle/dp/B004Y42682/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_S_nC?ie=UTF8&colid=GRA7XADMM9VZ&coliid=I1JZ8FRQ57HVIE
I don't know anyone who has it or has tried it, though. Hmm. Never heard of that water one. I will look around.
She's four months+ old, but as a preemie her adjusted age right now is about 3.5 months. I am having her sit up a lot with a little assistance, and she is doing great at balancing her head by herself. And she seems to enjoy sitting up. So that's a plus! But put her on her tummy and the screaming ensues.
I think there is a difference between abandoning your child to let them cry and a child crying while their parent is providing comfort. Sometimes even when you do everything right a child will cry. As long as you're comforting her, rubbing her back and singing a soothing song to your child, she's not going to feel abandonded/unattached even if she is upset with having to do something.
All of this!
thanks for this. I will try to make sure I'm touching and talking to her the whole time and maybe it won't be so bad.
Thanks so much. All great tips!
Thanks so much. All great tips!