Post Pregnancy support for BM

crene84 · September 2012

Did any of you provide any kind of financial assistance only after the baby was born? My e-mom has asked very tactfully if we would help her for a couple weeks just since she'll be off work. She mostly seems very independent and wanting to be uninvolved, but this is one request she made and we are fine with that (after all, she's giving us her baby!).

My question is, I know what the law says about how much we are allowed to give her, but what seems like a fair amount? I don't know exactly what she makes but for a while there, she was telling me she made more than what Medicaid allowed for her to be eligible. She asked me today what we thought we might offer and I just went ahead and told her $1,500. I have no idea if she'll be pleasantly surprised or disappointed with this. Very awkward!

Jenn is Silly · September 2012

With most adoption professionals I've spoken with, post placement assistance often looks like what current standards for workplace leave are (Short Term Disability):

- 6 weeks PP for a vaginal deliver

- 8 weeks PP for a C-Section

This is to allow the bio mom time to recover/heal physically before needing to jump back into the workplace.

This may vary by adoption professional.

silliestbunny · September 2012

Agreeing w/Jenn... we paid 8 weeks living expenses PLUS a dental bill which was a surprise to us.

crene84 · September 2012

silliestbunny:
Agreeing w/Jenn... we paid 8 weeks living expenses PLUS a dental bill which was a surprise to us.

Hmm, yea it's hard to know because this e-mom is very established, working full-time and seems to not want any handouts. She really isn't asking for much so DH and I decided on an amount we were comfortable with, that seems like it'd fit 2 weeks post pregnancy for her like she's originally asked for, so hopefully she's happy with it. So far, I haven't heard back from her on if she's happy with it or disappointed.

tfkre8ive · September 2012

This may be a newcomer naive question, but are you both working with an agency or are these private adoptions with attorneys? Our agency said nothing about postpartum expenses and now I'm panicking that we'll have to come up with the adoption fees + enough $$$ saved so that I can take FMLA unpaid leave after placement + enough $$$ saved for 6-8 weeks living expenses for the BM.

IRR · September 2012

Depending on the state 6-8 weeks post pregnancy is required. Since you only met her late in the game and didn't pay a lot upfront, I would suspect this shouldn't be a big deal.

IRR · September 2012

tfkre8ive:
This may be a newcomer naive question, but are you both working with an agency or are these private adoptions with attorneys? Our agency said nothing about postpartum expenses and now I'm panicking that we'll have to come up with the adoption fees + enough $$$ saved so that I can take FMLA unpaid leave after placement + enough $$$ saved for 6-8 weeks living expenses for the BM.

She is doing a private adoption. Your agency should have laid out for you what expenses you may need to anticipate. It could be your agency just pays BM expenses and it is already a part of your fee. I would ask them if you don't know the answer.

amm78 · September 2012

Please be sure to consult with your attorney on this. I'm not exactly sure of your state's laws, but some states require expenses to go through a licensed attorney or agency, and other states require expenses to be approved by a judge.

tfkre8ive · September 2012

IRR:
tfkre8ive:
This may be a newcomer naive question, but are you both working with an agency or are these private adoptions with attorneys? Our agency said nothing about postpartum expenses and now I'm panicking that we'll have to come up with the adoption fees + enough $$$ saved so that I can take FMLA unpaid leave after placement + enough $$$ saved for 6-8 weeks living expenses for the BM.
She is doing a private adoption. Your agency should have laid out for you what expenses you may need to anticipate. It could be your agency just pays BM expenses and it is already a part of your fee. I would ask them if you don't know the answer.

Thank you! I will check with them. We do pay a lump sum of about $16,000 at time of placement, so I'm hoping it's part of that fee.

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Post Pregnancy support for BM

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