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April 2012 Moms
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Need resume help please!

minirayminiray member
in April 2012 Moms

My SIL is applying for a job and asked me to look over her resume.  We are both French as first language so I was wondering if you ladies could look over this and send some recommendaions/corrections.  TIA!!

Here is her cover letter:

Dear Human Resources,

 

Please accept my resume as an application for the Dispatcher and Transcriptionist positions, posted through the Belleville Police Service website.

 

With over 7 years experience working within the community, I have earned various professional experiences, all in different environments.

 

In addition to my experience, I am fully bilingual in English and French, a good communicator, and a good listener. I have the ability to remain calm in a stressful situation. I am self-directed, but I also have a good team spirit. Furthermore, I am capable of retaining significant knowledge and I am in a good physical condition.

 

I strongly believe this combination of abilities would be assets to the Belleville Police Service, and I know that I would bring a personality that is suited to these positions.

 

I look forward to meeting with you, at your earliest convenience, to further discuss my qualifications for both the Dispatcher and Transcriptionist positions. Should you require additional information, feel free to contact me.

 

Her resume is too long to post here but if someone is willing to help me out I can email it to you.  It'd be very much appriciated.  TIA :)

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Re: Need resume help please!

  • huahualovehuahualove member

    I think it sounds pretty good. If it were me, I would change the wording some for the.

    In addition to my experience, I am fully bilingual in English and French, a good communicator, and a good listener. I have the ability to remain calm in a stressful situation. I am self-directed, but I also have a good team spirit. Furthermore, I am capable of retaining significant knowledge and I am in a good physical condition.

    Maybe something like this:

    In addition to my experience, I am fully bilingual in English and French, having great comunications skills in both. My ability to remain calm in stressful situations allows me to be self-directed as well as being able to work well amongst teamates. Furthermore, I am capable of retaining significant knowledge and I am in a good physical condition.

    I'm sure that others on this board with more of an English background will have more suggestions, possibly a lot better of ones..  I do like the flow and format that she used for the cover letter. Good luck!!

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  • minirayminiray member
    imagehuahualove:

    I think it sounds pretty good. If it were me, I would change the wording some for the.

    In addition to my experience, I am fully bilingual in English and French, a good communicator, and a good listener. I have the ability to remain calm in a stressful situation. I am self-directed, but I also have a good team spirit. Furthermore, I am capable of retaining significant knowledge and I am in a good physical condition.

    Maybe something like this:

    In addition to my experience, I am fully bilingual in English and French, having great comunications skills in both. My ability to remain calm in stressful situations allows me to be self-directed as well as being able to work well amongst teamates. Furthermore, I am capable of retaining significant knowledge and I am in a good physical condition.

    I'm sure that others on this board with more of an English background will have more suggestions, possibly a lot better of ones..  I do like the flow and format that she used for the cover letter. Good luck!!

    Thanks for taking the time!  I really appriciate it :)

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  • huahualovehuahualove member
    imageminiray:

    Thanks for taking the time!  I really appriciate it :)

    No problem! I hope some others have more suggestions as well because I know there are a lot of women on here that would be good at this.

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  • dubs3dubs3
    I like it! Its clear and confident. Does she have any specific job experience she can point to to back up her claims? like: For x number of years, I served as x, which gave me xyz skills.

    You know? Sorry if that's confusing!
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  • adrianacastro08adrianacastro08
    imageminiray:

     

    With over 7 years experience working within the community, I have earned various professional experiences, all in different environments.

     

    Perhaps she could expand on this. Provide some specific, relevant examples on what professional experience she has earned.

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  • KatFCoKatFCo member
    Instead of "Dear Human Resources," it might be better to say "To whom it may concern," or "Dear Sir or Madam." In the second paragraph, instead of "I have earned various professional experiences, all in different environments," what about "I have had numerous experiences, in a variety of professional environments"? In the fourth paragraph, instead of "assets," it should be "an asset." (sorry for no formatting; not sure why it won't let me)
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  • minirayminiray member

    imageKatFCo:
    Instead of "Dear Human Resources," it might be better to say "To whom it may concern," or "Dear Sir or Madam." In the second paragraph, instead of "I have earned various professional experiences, all in different environments," what about "I have had numerous experiences, in a variety of professional environments"? In the fourth paragraph, instead of "assets," it should be "an asset." (sorry for no formatting; not sure why it won't let me)

    Thank you! :)

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