Discipline???

kxp004 · September 2012

DS has started throwing things at people and biting. I'm not sure how to discipline him besides saying no... Is there really anything you can do at this age? He's only 15 months and I'm not sure time out would really be an effective method at this point although I'm not against it. Usually when we do get say no and or yell ow he gets upset and goes off to cry. I just don't know if he really understands what we are trying to get across to him

Advice please!!!!

luvmyducks · September 2012

At our 12m appt the other day our Pedi had some suggestions for this. I haven't had to deal with it yet, so I'm not sure how it will work, but here is the info anyway.

She said some toddlers will be aggressive w/o knowing they are. But when you see that little light in their eye where you know they did it on purpose, she suggests a time out. Not yelling or spanking--just put on the serious/upset mom face and put them in a time out and tell them hitting/biting/etc is not nice and it hurts and walk away. Remove them from the family is how she put it. She said to put her in her play pen/crib, but personally I don't want that to be a negative space for her so I will find some other toddler proof place to do. We will see how it works eventually I am sure. She said to reserve time outs for when she is being aggressive. Other bad behaviors just tell no and redirect.

mesmom2011 · September 2012

My LO started biting a bit. We visited my MIL's new puppy and it bit her (just chewed on her really because it's teething). She fussed and said "bite." I told her that's why she shouldn't bite - it hurts and she hasn't done it since. I didn't intend on her learning the lesson that way, but it worked out for us. Do you know any puppies? Smile

NotSharknado · September 2012

mesmom2011:
My LO started biting a bit.  We visited my MIL's new puppy and it bit her (just chewed on her really because it's teething).  She fussed and said "bite."  I told her that's why she shouldn't bite - it hurts and she hasn't done it sense.  I didn't intend on
her learning the lesson that way, but it
worked out for us.  Do you know
any puppies? 

This is funny! I need to find me a puppy stat!

SharonB222 · September 2012

I'm a big fan of telling kids what to do, rather than what not to do. So if it's not a life-threatening situation and I'm rested, I calmly tell LO "We don't bite people, we are gentle like this" or "Do not bite a person, you can bite this toy" or "please throw your things over in your play area" - and kindly direct her. I'm also a fan of "time ins" - she has to stay close to me when she has problems with impulse control. Now if I'm tired or she's biting because she's being mean, well, then I'd have to think some more on this, but fortunately my DD is just exploring right now. I rarely ever say "no". That's the way I was raised and I am extremely self-disciplined. My DH was overprotected and told "no" all the time (with little direction) and he freely admits he lacks self-discipline. But then that's personality driven also. Try some ways and see what works for your child (and you). GL!

CutieBean79 · September 2012

It depends on the child, I think. With DD, I can tell when something is done out of curiosity or discovering her limits (I don't say "no" for these things, but I do explain why we don't do them) and when it is done with intentional defiance. She will look me in the eye with her eyebrows all furrowed up and then throw something. Yea, that is not ok. I never raise my voice, but I will calmly and forcefully tell her no. I will also redirect her and/or tell her why she cannot do this and/or tell her what she can do.

NewFamily09 · September 2012

I know this sounds really crazy, but I read once that if your kid bites you, scream out in pain. It scares them and they learn to not do it. Both my boys went through a phase that was literally 10 minutes long where they tried to bite. The first time they bit one of us, we screamed out in pain. Not in anger towards them, just a really loud OOOOOUUUUCCHH!!!" And I mean a full fledged yell, not a soft quiet ouch. Sure enough, they were scared and maybe even cried. But that was all it took to get them to never bite again.

FordFalcor · September 2012

When Lucy bites, I react like it's more painful than her birth. [:] Then I say: "Biting hurts Mama. Ow. Can you give kisses instead?"

Now, when she gets super excited, she runs up, thinks about biting, then kisses my leg or arm and says: "no bite".

It definitely didn't happen overnight but she's finally getting better.

Now, if she's just being a stinker, I'll sit her down and walk away, then tell her I don't play with little girls who bite. She hates sitting on the floor without me, so it seems to work.

Ugh, I'm tired and rambling but I hope that helps.

brittneygirl · September 2012

DD is 14 months old...she likes to reach for things she isn't supposed to have. A little swat on the hand never hurt any child and she is old enough to understand if she tries to touch one of those things, she gets her hand swatted. She doesn't understand "reasoning" at this age. I will do the same when she starts biting.

Lotsofloveandkids · September 2012

When DS bites, I tell him ow, and to not bite people.

daniella2727 · September 2012

I really don't think a 15 month old or even a 18 month old would understand the concept of time out.

Kitiara5512 · September 2012

15 months is too young for discipline. Redirect redirect redirect.

catycate · September 2012

At that age, I started setting the foundations for future discipline. I gave alternatives to what to do or explained why we didn't do that. If it was a situation where I knew he was going to do it, I would remind him (Remember, we are gentle with the dogs so they stay and play). I would do short time outs, too, like 30 seconds, with an explanation before and after.

tracey4228 · September 2012

Happiest Toddler on the Block. Has different approaches for different ages.

When DD went through her biting phase, we always made sure to tell her that biting people was bad, that we only bite our food. Honestly, though, it's a phase and LO will work out of it eventually. But you want to set the foundations for future discipline now.

see2211 · September 2012

Previous posters have given some good advice, and I whole-heartedly agree with redirection after explaining that what he did was wrong. I checked out the book 'No Cry Discipline Solution' from the library and it was a really good guide. It had lots of tips and advice for disciplining kids of all ages. It also really helped me understand why meltdowns happen in the first place and gave lots of tips for helping prevent them in the first place. Toddlers (and often parents too) have a hard time controlling their emotions. My daughter still gets really upset when we tell her no, but I've stopped telling her not to cry or get upset... it's her way of dealing with it now, and it will get better.

Manateearmz · September 2012

brittneygirl:
DD is 14 months old...she likes to reach for things she isn't supposed to have. nbsp;A little swat on the hand never hurt any child and she is old enough to understand if she tries to touch one of those things, she gets her hand swatted. nbsp;She doesn't understand "reasoning" at this age. nbsp;I will do the same when she starts biting.

Sigh. There is always one of these answers in this type of post. Then when they start hitting will you bite them to teach them it's not ok to "swat"?

OP When my DD bit we would say "no ouch" and put her down. She eventually learned that biting earned her a time out of sorts and she stopped doing it.

Manateearmz · September 2012

Kitiara5512:
15 months is too young for discipline. Redirect redirect redirect.

Listen to Kitara, she is a wise woman! Redirect!

[Deleted User] · September 2012

brittneygirl:
DD is 14 months old...she likes to reach for things she isn't supposed to have. A little swat on the hand never hurt any child and she is old enough to understand if she tries to touch one of those things, she gets her hand swatted. She doesn't understand "reasoning" at this age. I will do the same when she starts biting.

Oh, yes. The best way to teach your child to not hurt someone is to hurt them. Confused

This will translate very well into your child hitting other children when they are doing things that she doesn't like. Best of luck with that.

NotSharknado · September 2012

I was talking with an in-law last week and he noticed bruises on my arm and asked what happened and I told him it was from dd biting me and he asked me if I bit her back. I laughed assuming he was kidding but he wasn't. He told me that's what they do with their 1 year old and he stopped. I was speechless. All I could do was walk away. Sad.

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