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April 2012 Moms
Ximena M
member
What's your def of CIO?
Ximena M
member
I'm curious because I see all sorts of posts that, in my mind, don't come close to CIO. I find that 5-10 minutes of crying just happens as a part of life.
What I have also noticed is that if I let Pilar get to a high level of crying I can't get her to calm down. It seems pointless to try to let her to "CIO" for a long period of time. For example, last night on the way home for my FILs Pilar started crying. I finally moved to the back to try to comfort her and it took another 10 minutes of comforting her to get her to stop crying. She never gets that worked up in a car ride.
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Re: What's your def of CIO?
For me personally, it's really any amount of crying without soothing. I'm strange like that. DS was a CRIER. He cried all the time. He was very high maintenance and still is as a toddler. If I let him cry for any amount of time be it 30 seconds or a 20 minute car ride (which he would scream bloody murder in the car from 6 weeks to 13 weeks didn't matter how long the trip). The longer I let him cry the harder it was to calm him down, it even is now. I try to always soothe because I get frustrated at the constant screaming at me. DD fusses for a long time before a full cry. She full cried tonight. I popped the paci in so I could eat, then I got tired of getting up to pop the paci. She cried for a minute. I know it's not CIO but to me it is.
Also, DS can get so worked up that if he cries and we don't hear him he climbs into bed and crawls on top of me. I'm okay with that. I like that he still "needs" me. He's done it the past two nights. Last night he wasn't crying but I didn't realize what happened until I got a knee in my boob. I have my nursing chair and stool next to my side of the bed, he uses the stool to get on the chair and the chair to get into the bed. I just happened to be an innocent bystander.
I truly believe that it is your comfort level with CIO. DH has a higher tolerance than me. I don't have the tolerance to ever do it at night. Says the mom who fell asleep in DS's bed as she got too tired waiting for him to fall asleep.
I once had a picture until the trolls showed up.
TTC #1 7/08 PCOS dx 8/28/04 Met 1000 mg and Clomid cycles 1-4 1/6/09-5/2/09 BFN
Clomid 100mg 6/4/09=O'd=BFP on 6/29/09! Beta@14DPO 70.8 Beta@16DPO 152. EDD 3/7/10.
First u/s on 7/13/09 @6w0d heard and saw heartbeat 102 bpm.
K M #1 arrived via c/s 3/1/10 10 lbs, 22 inches long at 39 weeks.
Surprise expecting #2. Med-free BFP on 8/1/11! Beta@15DPO 58.2 Beta@17DPO 198.3 Beta@23DPO 2338. EDD 4/9/12
K M #2 arrived via c/s 3/19/12 9 lbs 2 oz, 21 inches long at 37 weeks.
"If we weren't all crazy we would go insane."
This sounds like my nephew. If you look at him sideways he starts crying. He seems to just need a lot more comfort.
Crying coupled with crying alone,more specifically not being held, defines it for me. My older daughter cried in our arms frequently for naps. She just fought day time sleep so hard. Putting her down made it worse so the only thing we could do at times was hold her and try to soothe her. In my house with my babies, if it is enough of a cry that I would respond to during the day it warrants a response from me regardless of what the clock says.
This is also a good point. Some people have more patience and don't mind letting baby cry for a few minutes, while others rush as soon as they hear baby make a peep.
This.
To me, crying it out is when the caregiver chooses to let the baby to cry when they could go comfort them. So, if the caregiver is pooping, but will comfort the baby when done, it's not CIO, but if they are bumping, it is.
I define CIO as actively ignoring a baby's crys in order to " teach" them something or because the caregiver is in an act of neglect.
I respond to all of my son's cries no matter what my schedule or the time on the clock. If he cries due to an unexpected feeding and I have to run around to prepare for it, I sing very loudly so he can hear me. I don't consider that CIO, just like if you have twins and one is crying but you have to tend to the need of the other at that moment it isn't CIO.
Hey I was eating too! If you mean me and my minute of crying. I knew she wanted held but I told her I was hungry. She gets fussy when she's tired and will fight it. She was nice and snuggled on my chest when the timer went off. I moved her to the swing. She let me know she wasn't happy. I let her know I was hungry.
I once had a picture until the trolls showed up.
TTC #1 7/08 PCOS dx 8/28/04 Met 1000 mg and Clomid cycles 1-4 1/6/09-5/2/09 BFN
Clomid 100mg 6/4/09=O'd=BFP on 6/29/09! Beta@14DPO 70.8 Beta@16DPO 152. EDD 3/7/10.
First u/s on 7/13/09 @6w0d heard and saw heartbeat 102 bpm.
K M #1 arrived via c/s 3/1/10 10 lbs, 22 inches long at 39 weeks.
Surprise expecting #2. Med-free BFP on 8/1/11! Beta@15DPO 58.2 Beta@17DPO 198.3 Beta@23DPO 2338. EDD 4/9/12
K M #2 arrived via c/s 3/19/12 9 lbs 2 oz, 21 inches long at 37 weeks.
"If we weren't all crazy we would go insane."
Allowing them to cry as a sleep training tool. Either Ferberizing or something similar or just letting them cry as long as it takes for them to fall asleep.
eta: crying while you are holding or otherwise constantly soothing them excluded.
LOL this.
Sorry! I didn't mean you! If your are eating, then you are taking care of another person's needs, and baby can wait. Quite often I remind Sadie that I can't make her food if I don't eat mine.
This.